No One Wants To Get This Text

I got that shitty text no one wants to get this morning. Cousin Gary was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in December. This morning he died.

It is an awful disease–a cruel killer with no regard for who you are or how good you were. Gary was a good guy. My friend Kevin, taken by pancreatic cancer ten years ago, was a good guy too.

Don’t get a false impression by my ‘cure.’ There is no actual cure for pancreatic cancer. My cancer was found and removed before it spread. That is the only way in 2018.

“Clean margins,” was the surgeon’s verdict after six hours in surgery. It was what we wanted to hear.

Only one in three can get this surgery. Only one in three of those have this result.

People call all the time to talk about pancreatic cancer. It’s a role I’ve taken on willingly. Most of the time I know how things are going to end before we begin.

There is research ongoing, but this is a particularly tough disease. There is no definitive test for pancreatic cancer other than a physical biopsy. It’s not a routine test because it’s surgery.

Though only 3% of all cancers, pancreatic cancer accounts for 7% of deaths. It’s fast and efficient. The five year survival rate for those whose cancer was detected after it began to spread is 3%.

So, we root for smart doctors and the really brave patients who let them experiment on them with trials, so far mainly ineffective. And we remind the families, like my cousins today, how much we love them and how much of their pain is shared deep inside.

It hurts me Gary suffered for one minute. I hate this damn disease.

31 thoughts on “No One Wants To Get This Text”

  1. Oh Geoff, Im SO very sorry for your family’s loss. Cancer is an ugly ugly disease….
    I lost my wonderful husband to it 3 years ago. Deepest condolences to you and your
    family.

  2. I’m sorry Geoff. I don’t like to say that, but my Dad died from Pancreatic Cancer in 2011. It is a terrible type of cancer. I hope they find a cure. I will be praying for you.

  3. Sorry about Gary and all the cancer warriors! I had a whipple in Sept. 2017, just finished first round of chemo and I just sit and wait for the recurrence!!! It’s a nasty cancer!!!!

  4. I hate this disease too Geoff because it took away my mom and it took away a classmate . Mom was diagnosed when it was stage 4 and she died less than a month later, she died a horrible death and 4 yrs later I am still devastated . My classmate had the surgery and died on the table . Warms my heart to see that you are doing so well . You are my birthday twin and my hero ! Thank you for doing this blog and bringing awareness to this horrible disease
    Warm Hugs , Linda in Wallingford Ct

  5. Geoff,
    So glad your blog popped up on Facebook.
    I lost my cousin Merrill 28 years ago – cancer had spread, they thought she problems with gall bladder. Nope it was in her liver, pancreas, and then in her bones. She suffered for about 8 months. I hate cancer.
    Two years ago my brother from another Mother passed away. His nephew who happens to be an emt/paramedic went to his house and made him get in the car and drove him to emergent care. His sister was here in CT visiting. Her son in law (the nephew) called and told her to come home. They diagnosed our brother with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He died surrounded by his family two weeks later. I hate cancer!
    And My Mom died 42 years ago three weeks before her 56th birthday. I was 23. I miss her every day. I HATE CANCER!!!!
    I am glad that you are doing okay. Miss your weather reports.

  6. Our deepest sympathy to you, and your family. I’m sure seeing how well you’ve done was a comfort to Gary, giving him hope….and even just a tiny glimmer of hope, can make the suffering a bit more tolerable. RIP
    Cherish the good memories.

  7. Geoff,
    So glad your blog popped up on Facebook.
    I lost my cousin Merrill 28 years ago – cancer had spread, they thought she problems with gall bladder. Nope it was in her liver, pancreas, and then in her bones. She suffered for about 8 months. I hate cancer.
    Two years ago my brother from another Mother passed away. His nephew who happens to be an emt/paramedic went to his house and made him get in the car and drove him to emergent care. His sister was here in CT visiting. Her son in law (the nephew) called and told her to come home. They diagnosed our brother with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He died surrounded by his family two weeks later. I hate cancer!
    And My Mom of metastic(sp) breast cancer died 42 years ago three weeks before her 56th birthday. I was 23. I miss her every day. I HATE CANCER!!!!
    I am glad that you are doing okay. Miss your weather reports.

  8. Dear Geoff,

    I am so sorry to hear about your cousin. Yes cancer is a bad disease. I am dealing it with one of my family members right now. She is in stage 4 breast cancer and liver cancer. I am being tested now since caner does run in my family. You are in my prayers along with your cousin family and friends. I am praying for you.

    Sincerely yours

    shenna

  9. Oh Geoff, I am so sorry to hear about your cousin Gary. Cancer is cruel…and the fact this kind is so hard to detect makes it even harder. I lost my dad back in 1973, when folks treated you like you had aids. It can be an random, and cruel. Hugs to you and your family. There really are no words……

  10. I had someone very close to me get diagnosed and three weeks later died! As you know, it’s a terrible disease!

  11. I watched my wife suffer she was diagnosed June 28th and passed Sept 14th. Geoff you are so lucky that you caught it early enough. I am sorry for the loss of your cousin it is horrible.

  12. I’m so sorry you lost your cousin. This must hit you harder knowing you two had the same cancer. It is such a horrible disease. Sending prayers of comfort for his family, for your whole family. As for you, keep the brave fight going, I do believe you give others hope.

  13. I’m so sorry for your loss Geoff. I have heard it said that so much of health is mindset and attitude. Hearing you speak (anytime really) about the positive aspects of comradery and survival stats, gives patients hope that improves state of mind. Once again you’re helping us all dealing with patient support and loved ones care and attitude.
    Continued good health, and we all miss you making us feeling better about the weather!
    Dave

    1. Dave – On Day One I told my oncologist I wanted him to be aggressive in his approach. If there was going to be a battle I was willing to face it head on. Of course at the time I had no idea what I was committing myself to. But it was the right call.

  14. I am so sorry about your cousin, Gary.
    Yes, you were and are very fortunate.
    We need to find a vaccine for all cancers.

    Glad you’re still with us, Geoff!

  15. Geoff,
    My Sympathies to You and Your Cousin Gary’s Family!! It will be 3 years that my Brother’s Wife, Marie was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. She told me it was Stage 4 and said to me that any decision for treatment would be hers. Well, the Dr. convinced her to have Chemo as it would help the pain in her
    back, it didn’t. It caused a huge hemorrhage from her nose and from there it was all downhill, she was dead within four months. She was very brave about the whole process. Dead in 5 months. It is sad. Glad you are doing so well. Pray God Keeps You In His Arms. Marie West

    1. Marie – All treatment comes with risk, but unfortunately her body was already compromised. It’s sad that the only treatment today is so harsh.

  16. My condolences Geoff. You are right – it is a shitty disease! I’ve been battling it for 4 years now! I’m one of the unlucky ones who can’t have the surgery. I just tried a trial treatment which, of course, did nothing. I’m hoping someday they will find a cure for this awful disease! God Bless you and your family!

  17. Geoff, I know you meet so many people so you won’t remember me ❗️‼️I met you through Dr. Paul Fortgang I was thrilled to do so … I lost my Dad to that horrific disease 25 years ago it was only a matter of 6 weeks from his diagnosis so when I say I am excited it has comet this far I AM there was no whipple than there was no hope!! My Dad was special funny and loving He did not plant me so to speak but I was his in every since of fatherhood . I watched you daily on channel 8 and Fox on Fox and no one is perfect and Glass housed crash everyday!! Prayers for all who walk this path God bless

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