More Furniture Follies

The box was battered and a little ripped. A quick shake brought the sound of broken glass! She refused delivery.

When we last left our online ordered family room furniture it was a no show. Thursday’s experience was more about excuses (none believed) than tables. They were listed as out for delivery, but never delivered!

Yesterday was different. Well, a little different. The trucking company still couldn’t make their 1:00 – 5:00 PM delivery window. The truck didn’t arrive until 5:45 PM.

There was a coffee table plus two end tables in the shipment.

As soon as the coffee table’s box was off the truck Helaine knew something was wrong. The box was battered and a little ripped. A quick shake brought the sound of broken glass! She refused delivery.

The other two boxes seemed fine. They were left on the floor of the garage until I was ready to assemble them.

Late this morning Helaine put a large towel on the family room floor and I opened the first box.

No instructions!

It didn’t look that hard and I’ve put a lot of furniture together so I gave it a try. There were a few steps I had to undo then redo, but mostly I understood and went about my business.

It wasn’t until we opened the second box that I realized the instructions were on the opposite side of the warranty! Oops.

The room still has a missing piece, but it’s really coming together… and none of the furniture wobbles!

Someone on Facebook asked if all this furniture and house work meant we were leaving? No. It means we’re staying.

I Hate When People Lie

So which is it? North Haven in traffic or West Haven with the hood up. Odds are neither is true!

We’re waiting for a few tables to be delivered. Nothing major, but things are “on hold” without them. They were scheduled for delivery this afternoon between 1:00 and 5:00 PM.

You know where this is going.

Around 6:00 Helaine called me. “No tables,” though the website for the trucking company (not one of the major package delivery services) said “out for delivery.”

She called back fifteen minuets later. Frustrated she contacted the trucking company and was told the truck was in North Haven, running late because of traffic. Uh huh.

A few minutes later someone else called to say the tables wouldn’t be delivered today after all. The truck had actually broken down in West Haven.

So which is it? North Haven in traffic or West Haven with the hood up. Odds are neither is true!

Helaine spent the day tied to the house because she didn’t want to inconvenience the deliverymen. Who gives her back this wasted day? Who compensates her for her angst?

I hate when people lie.

I Am The Furniture Assembler

Stuff like this used to intimidate me. No more. I’ve overcome my fears. I follow the instructions scrupulously.

The twenty first century will be best known as the era of furniture assembly. Over the past two years I have earned my doctorate! Tonight I built a chair. It came from Staples. The separate pieces were packed in a box to take up the minimum amount of space.

Stuff like this used to intimidate me. No more. I’ve overcome my fears. I follow the instructions scrupulously.

This was among the best kits I’ve ever assembled. The instructions were totally done in drawings and quite clear. The hardware was parceled out in little plastic pouches numbered to coordinate with the instructions.

I attached the screws as firmly as I could.

In about twenty minutes the parts had become a chair.

How the hell did I flunk shop?

The Furniture That Made Me Cry

“Is it leather?” Stef repeated to the salesperson.

“Faux leather.”

Close enough.

This is a good story. This is a family story. This is about Stef living on the West Coast.

She had been sharing an apartment for the last year in “The Valley.’ Now she’s on her own in Hollywood!

For those of you who know the Los Angeles area you know much of Hollywood is not desirable. Stef seems to be in a nice part and under 10 minutes from work!

In Los Angeles having a ten minute commute is the equivalent of finding free all day parking in Manhattan… or Sasquatch!

With her few sticks of bedroom furniture she began to live in a barren space. TV watching in the living room was either done from the floor or… actually no or. It was just the floor!

Today she went furniture shopping. I guess I knew she was, but I’d forgotten until the email arrived with a photo. She bought a table and chairs and a few stools for the breakfast bar. Later she picked out a sofa.

“Is it leather?” Helaine asked on the cell.

“Is it leather?” Stef repeated to the salesperson.

“Faux leather.”

Close enough.

This is my child. I changed her diapers. I spread enough baby powder to look like a desert sandstorm. Now she’s bought furniture!

It made me cry.

It’s tough to think of her as a child now.