This Is Only An Exhibition. This is Not A Competition. Please, No Wagering

When Dave took a few questions from the audience, Helaine asked about his makeup.

“My boyfriend is a weatherman in Buffalo…”

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After 33 years on nighttime TV, David Letterman calls it quits tonight. He’s pretty much admitted to no longer being contemporary in this era of YouTube clips and Twitter memes. Sad.

I was a Letterman fan from Day One, back when he was a young stand-up comedian appearing on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show. He was edgy and vital, always willing to bite the hand that fed him.

I was in Buffalo when Dave started in late night. It was a show we, an NBC affiliate, didn’t carry. Vicky Gregorian, our program director, heard my pleas to clear “Late Night” nearly every day.

It took time, but we did finally air him. My kvetching probably had little to do with it in the long run.

David Letterman autographed photoThe photo on the left was an early 80s gift from my girlfriend, Helaine. It’s an autographed Happy Birthday greeting from Dave, standing on 5th Avenue across from St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

David Letterman was so strong at one point I forced myself to stop watching! I was inadvertently doing my Letterman impression on-the-air.

Helaine and I first visited the show in 1982. Andrea Martin was a guest. Maybe July 11?

We’d gotten tickets through a friend, were brought in early, sat up front and schmoozed with Biff Henderson. When Dave took a few questions from the audience, Helaine asked about his makeup.

“My boyfriend is a weatherman in Buffalo…”

geoff-at-ed-sullivan-theaterLetterman answered her question, started the show, then referred back to his conversation with Helaine.

“Sir, Where are you a weatherman?” Letterman asked coast-to-coast.

“Buffalo,” I shouted in my network debut (voice only).

I’ve been back to see Dave a few times since. The latest was when Matt Scott invited me to the Christmas show with Darlene Love. Dream fulfilled.

I rooted for Dave when Carson decided to retire. Dave was shafted. Everyone knew it. Alas, the revenge we all hoped for, Dave beating Jay Leno, never came.

Dave was the cutting edge. No more. That’s the saddest part for me. He had it, but let it slip away. As a performer I work hard every day making sure my flame is always lit, my passion always there. Dave seemed to have given up.

Though I no longer watch as often, I will miss knowing Letterman is there. Like his hero, Johnny Carson, Dave will probably fade into the woodwork out-of-the public eye.

Dave is my hero.

They Love The Rain

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There are some things I’m just going to have to get used to. I have never seen so many people happy about a rainy day! Really, people are ecstatic.

We didn’t get much. The rain started falling before dawn and was gone around 3:00 PM. Most areas got between an eighth and quarter inch–aka, very little. However, in a place that’s only gotten around two inches total since January 2014, even an eighth inch is a notable achievement.

For the next few weeks there will be a little green on the mountainsides. Desert flowers will quickly bloom, then die away.

It’s likely there’ll be no more rain until late fall. Climatically that’s the way it works.

Recent forecasts, first from the Aussies and now from the European Center for Medium Range Weather Forecasting, says a strong El Nino is building. If true, next winter in SoCal should be wet. We can really use it.

I wonder how many rain days we need before desert residents stop finding it cool? I’ll report back.

I Almost Fell For It!

If you fell for this, here’s what happened. Your Google password is owned. You’ve installed software that probably also controls your computer and owns your other passwords.

I don’t want to hurt myself patting my own back, but I’m pretty good at sniffing out scams. Today I came perilously close to falling for one. Bravo to the scammers. You’re getting better.

It started with an email from a friend I haven’t spoken to in a long time. Actually, the email said I had a message from her via Whats App. I have Whats App installed, but don’t use it.

So far, plausible.

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I clicked the green “Play” button and was asked to sign in to my Gmail account. Again, this is something that happens… but I don’t give up my password easily. I looked closely and noticed the password page didn’t have a green lock next to it.

Bad sign!

Gmail (and Facebook and Twitter) always have a green lock. The green lock assures you the connection is secure and from the company listed.

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I continued to log in but with a phony password. I wanted to see where this led.

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Next screen was an install page for Flash. If the flashing red lights weren’t already going off, this would do it!

If you fell for this, here’s what happened. Your Google password is owned. You’ve installed software that probably also controls your computer and owns your other passwords.

I opened up the web pages. They’re reasonably well written code. All the images are served from their rightful owners websites. In other words, Google, Twitter and Whats App (among others) are paying for the bandwidth to run this scam!

How the hell did this get past Gmail’s filters? At least it didn’t get past mine.

Coconut: Our Good Deed For Today

“Hello,” I called out. “I have your dog.”

No answer.

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I was outside with Doppler a few minutes ago when another dog walked up to us and started sniffing. He was white, a Maltese like Doppler, freshly groomed and around twice her size.

“Hello,” I called out. “I have your dog.”

No answer.

I took a look at his collar. There was a phone number and his name, Coconut. We went inside.

Helaine called the number, but it went to voicemail. A few minutes later I sent a text. That’s when Coconut’s mom called.

She had been unloading groceries. Coconut must have walked out without being noticed. She’d meet us in the street in front of our house.

We’d never seen Coconut before even though he only lives a few hundred feet away. He is lucky we found him. There are coyotes who live in the farmland adjacent to our development. They are also dog lovers.

Good deed for the day. Mission accomplished. Cute doggie. Aren’t they all?

I Love Video

Unlocked cell phone. Burmese sim. Internet plan. It’s the third world in the Twenty First Century.

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My friends are cruising the Irrawaddy River in Burma/Myanmar. Their ship is docked in Bagan, It is an exotic place.

I’m treated to photos and travelogues as they explore the world. I love it.

And then tonight, she called on Skype. I expected voice, but there she was on my screen from their cabin.

Unlocked cell phone. Burmese sim. Internet plan. It’s the third world in the Twenty First Century.

She proceed to take me on a tour of the ship.

We went up and down, through hallways and up stairs, into and out of parlors and dining rooms. She walked me down the gangway so I could see the ship itself.

“It’s my friend from California,” she said, while passing some perplexed shipmates.

They only cruise during daylight. The river is too dangerous after dark with many uncharted sand bars.

It is a shallow draft, flat bottom boat. It was built to cruise this fabled river.

What an absolutely cool call! We live in amazing times.

About Charlie Hebdo, Briefly

If an American magazine made similar ‘jokes’ about Jews or Christians or black people we’d be up in arms. However, in a free society we allow people to say stupid and hurtful things. I like it that way.

charlie-hebdo-s-est-deja-attire-les-foudresWhat a godawful tragedy in Paris. Horrible.

And to justify murder by saying you’re defending God? Seriously, isn’t God capable of dealing with this on her own?

Charlie Hedbo has been called a satire magazine. Maybe so. One man’s satire is another man’s hate speech. Some of their cartoons were definitely hateful, others patently racist.

If an American magazine made similar ‘jokes’ about Jews or Christians or black people we’d be up in arms. However, in a free society we allow people to say stupid and hurtful things. I like it that way.

Free speech has limits. You can’t yell “Fire” in a crowded movie theater. Most everything else is OK.

I wish Charlie Hebdo hadn’t tweaked the Muslim community as they did. Some of their satire was mean spirited. That was their choice. It is a right afforded to all in France, as it is in the US. It doesn’t come close to justifying what happened in Paris yesterday.

To radical Islamists, non-believers are infidels. Asking them to respect the beliefs of others is a non-starter. Reasoning isn’t an effective strategy. I don’t know what is.

Free speech isn’t needed to protect popular ideas. Free speech is there for the outliers. Even if I found some of Charlie Hebdo’s cartoons offensive (and I did), I still defend their right to publish them.

This is all so senseless. What has been accomplished? When will it end?

Je suis Charlie.

Don’t Go To Sleep Yet

hdr_branding.jpg  980×108Earlier this afternoon I met with the news director and general manager of KMIR in Palm Springs. I am thrilled to announce I start on January 1st.

There’s more.

I’ll be doing some of my broadcasts from a studio I’m building in my garage. I’ll still be live with realtime interaction with the anchors. We just won’t be in the same room.

Some of my friends from Channel 8 will remember me talking about this idea years ago. The technology and time is right. With this setup I’ll be able to offer my services to other stations as well, no matter where they’re located.

I’m super excited about KMIR and will be devoting lots of time to make sure everything works perfectly.

Quite honestly, it’s pretty cool.

Now Casting For Weathermen

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I just got an email from… well, I’ll let her tell you.

Hey There!

My name is Mandi Rogers and I am a casting producer seeking America’s next meteorologist for a major network television show!

Are you a meteorologist with a big personality? Do you think you have what it takes to be “America’s Next Weatherman?” Emmy award winning production company is now casting weathermen and women for a major network! Are you a passionate climatolgist? Do you love everything about the weather and ready for your big debut? This could be your chance to For more details submit yourself now with a breif bio, location, website (if applicable), contact number and photo.

I have attached a flier for more information on how to apply and would love if you could help us get the word out to your weathercaster family, co-workers, interns and social media following. Feel free to share on Facebook, Twitter, E-mail or just hang up a flier.

***If you have the personality and bravery to report in any climate, then we want you!

“I’ll show you how to stalk,” Stef offered. She then followed the breadcrumbs until we found the show’s producer. “I’ve sent emails like this.” She has.

Email like mine are sent early in the development process. Usually things stall. Not always. This show might hit the air.

Not with me.

Stefanie Fox: Celebrity Encounter

As they approached, Roxie made a high pitched mumble. The man looked down, then up at Stef.

“Nice wiener,” he said.

hollywood-from-GowerCelebrity sightings are common in LA. You’re supposed to take it in stride. Stef’s very good at that having worked on the red carpet during last year’s awards season.

Tonight while walking her dachshund Roxie, she saw a man in the distance saying goodbye to a group of friends. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t make a connection.

As they approached, Roxie made a high pitched mumble. The man looked down, then up at Stef.

“Nice wiener,” he said.

It was Ron Jeremy.

I Got A What?

If you carry your phone in your pocket are you dialing 10 digits to make a call? I didn’t think so.

That’s what makes what’s on this voicemail so special.

google-voice-screenHow many phone numbers do you have squirreled away in your brain nowadays?

I know Helaine’s number and Stef’s–both still 203. I remember my sister and brother-in-law’s house phone. I usually call them on their cells nowadays. I can’t tell you my parents’ number or the number of any friend, save Rick Allison whose number spells out two words.

I push a button. Most times I see their photo. Their voice magically appears.

Most of us are like that now. If you carry your phone in your pocket are you dialing 10 digits to make a call? I didn’t think so.

That’s what makes what’s on this voicemail so special. It’s a wrong number. Remember those?

She was polite. Points for that.

When was the last time you got a wrong number? I can’t remember. Years. Many years.

Do people even leave voicemail much anymore?

Letter To The Editor

registerlogo2013blackserviceI just wrote a letter to the editor. It was about a column in today’s Orange County Register.

It made me angry. Incensed. A lie masquerading as truth.

It was about fast food workers, McDonald’s in particular and the push for a higher minimum wage. The argument was made using the wrong data. With real world numbers it quickly falls apart.

Devious or dumb? Who knows? Both make me sad.

Alas, newspapers don’t have the impact they once had. My daughter will never buy a paper. She still consumes news, her own curated version. We all have that power today.

Columnists have fewer potential readers than ever before. It’s an older crowd that gets the paper. Competing content is everywhere.

Whatever reach he has, my letter (if published) correcting his misguidance will have even less!

Does This Make Me A Professional

It’s tougher than ever to be a professional shooter.

I have become part of the problem. You’re welcome.

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Am I a professional photographer? I now have photos for sale. More on that in a moment.

“Real” professional photographers complain about well meaning, but poorly trained and equipped amateurs who buy a DSLR and freelance. They complain because those guys steal business. It’s tougher than ever to be a professional shooter.

I have become part of the problem. You’re welcome.

My hobby is photography. Maybe more obsession than hobby. Photography is a technical sport. I have little artistic talent. None is needed. It’s all about understanding the tools… and a little Photoshop.

People say nice things about my work all the time. Maybe they’d like to hang me?

My friend, Catie Canetti, is also a photographer. She’s taken great shots recently in the Tetons near Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Catie sells her work online. I thought I’d try too.

You can see my first three offerings on FineArtAmerica.com. There are a lot more to come.

I believe my $30 is the only qualification to being a fine artist at FineArtAmerica!

I’ll let you and the IRS know how things go.

Has Anyone Started A Roger Goodell Pool Yet?

roger-goodellHow long until Roger Goodell exits the NFL? This month? This week? This evening? I suspect his time is short.

I don’t have to rehash this story. What Ray Rice did was inexcusable.

The question now is, did Roger Goodell do the inexcusable too? I think so.

Forget AP’s revelation for a moment. Nothing in the tape released by TMZ offers anything the commissioner didn’t know earlier. Rice, as reported, was up front about the fight. He was charged with a violent crime. He knocked his girlfriend unconscious with his fist!

How did seeing the TMZ elevator video change that? The only difference was now we could see what the NFL already knew! That was their worry — not what Rice had done, but that we knew.

And, again, this is regardless of whatever tape they did or didn’t see. They knew this was a brutal act by a 206 pound athlete based on Rice’s own admission.

Goodell will leave the NFL a wealthy man. I just saw a report he made $29 million in 2011. Don’t cry if he loses his job.

Violence against women is a scourge which must be stopped. If Rice’s punishment serves as a warning to others, so be it. The same goes for any punishment Goodell receives in his role as whitewasher and enabler.

From My Messy Room Upstairs

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Five o’clock. I’m upstairs in my office. It is a borderline out-of-control mess!

My desk is the perfect example of junk expanding to fill all available space. I’ve got tools, lens caps, at least one can of air, an empty coffee cup plus a plum.

You organized people are snickering at me, aren’t you? You’re wondering how Helaine, herself organized, puts up with it. Let’s just say the threshold in this one room is very high.

I love this room. This is my man cave. It was designed to be functional in a way I could take advantage of. It is designed to be a multimedia production facility where video, audio and stills are edited into presentations.

I designed the computer, anguished over the speakers (and the shock absorbing pads they sit on) and took my wife’s advice, getting the larger desk. Good call, H.

My office has four windows, open as much as possible. The afternoon sun heats the room pretty quickly so the blinds are louvered to let in air, not sunshine.

If there was a simple way to sound deaden the room I would. It would make v/o tracking a little nicer. It doesn’t need to be soundproof, just less wall bounce.

If I had it to do over again, I’d probably leave it alone.

Your Privacy And The Free Internet

facebook-logoThis started as a comment on Facebook. I was asked about the new Facebook messenger. It’s been installed twice on my phone, uninstalled once, probably coming out again. Too invasive. Tentacles… Too… Tight…

We live in amazing times. The power of the world is at our fingertips. You have access to more information from more sources than any human before you. And the price of admission is cheap.

Google has never sent you a bill. Facebook doesn’t charge. Neither do Twitter, Instagram or Reddit.

All these companies and many more make their living selling access to you. The ads you see online are usually targeted. The better they define you, the more they charge.

If you aren’t paying, you’re not the customer, you’re the product. That is more true today than ever.

All these companies store vast tidbits of your life, connecting things you might not see as important. Using Boolean algebra (and other techniques too dweeby for me) data mining companies find markers that link similar persons. No piece is too small. Everything is evaluated. The details of your life have been graded and sorted. You have been objectified.

Google and others know your real friends, your passwords, the pet names spouses call each other, what you buy and where, even your taste in porn. Their computers have no trouble identifying my face in photos.

We all spend the day dropping breadcrumbs.

The power of these systems is you’re never an individual to them–but is that good for you? Don’t you see yourself as individual? We are already pushed into cubbyholes without a say in the process.

What do you or don’t you get in life because their incorrect classification is within an anticipated margin of error! A job? Better loan rate? Who knows?

Data miners live with little regulation. Their power is too strong to not politely police. At the very least we should be able to check what they know about us, the inferences drawn and to whom our data’s been sold.

Right now we’re entitled to nothing.