I guess I’ve been thrust into writing this, as two people I know I have died in the past day or two. Both were sudden – at least to me. Both were unexpected and shocking, if for no other reason than age. We don’t expect people to die in their 30s or 40s.
Last night I got a note from a friend of Helaine’s cousin.
If you are shocked at the news, you are among many friends & relatives who feel the same way. Rich is, understandably, stunned more than anyone. Although Caryn had been dealing with the infection as it spread, her health, condition and spirits had already improved dramatically before she suddenly died. Please understand: both Caryn and Rich chose to tell very few people about her illness because both of them were convinced of her speedy and full recovery.
I think Caryn was in her mid 30s. That’s not long enough.
Today, just after walking into work I was told Tom, who I’ve worked with for 20 years, had lost his wife Anne. Again, it was sudden and she was young, with small children.
I remember when Tom and Anne started dating. She was a waitress at the time and brought huge platters of seafood with her when she came to visit. We liked her for selfish reasons before we were smart enough to like her for being nice.
She was his compass and seemed the perfect companion. They always looked happy together… content.
I’ve spoken to Helaine about both of these tragedies and she reminds me, this is why you have to live every day. But really, that’s an oversimplification.
Our society is set up so you can’t live every day as if it were your last. You do need to take a long term outlook. Isn’t that one of the most important things you mpart to your child – to look at life in the long term?
There is just no upside to death and no real way to live your life as if you anticipate it. It’s all so sad.