I am currently upset. I am upset while listening to bad, guitar laden, non-descript instrumentals on the Microsoft Activation Hotline.
It is now five minutes since the first guitar was strummed.
Here’s the backstory. Now that my new computer is working, it’s time to really optimize it.
A warning message has flashed each time I booted. I was using the wrong cable on one of the disk drives. I would be slowed, not stopped. The DVD writer was old, but I had a faster one in my backup machine. Why not swap?
These are simple things to do. It’s almost like unplugging one TV and plugging in another.
I moved the computers from their place, wedged between my desk and file cabinet. You could call the mess of wires back there a rats’ nest, but that would be unfair to rats!
It’s amazing how many formerly used cables there were back there. It’s a job I should have done 10 years ago – and it hasn’t gotten prettier.
As I lifted cables and wires, there were dust bunnies the size of real bunnies.
Still on hold. I’m getting a gun to shoot a random guitarist. This is beyond painful.
Anyway, I cleaned, straightened and reinstalled. Helaine asked if I’d be throwing some of the old cables out?
Please! These are cables. Where I come from, you sacrifice to the cousin level before you ditch cables. There has to be a place in the attic for them to lie in state.
Once the main computer’s case was buttoned up, I booted and that’s when I got Microsoft’s message. Because of my changes this looks like a new computer. To them, it seems like this machine’s copy of Windows XP has been activated too many times.
They won’t let me reactivate over the Internet, that would be too simple. And, if I don’t do this, and then wait too long, my computer will be frozen like a Popsicle.
It would be one thing if this was a bootlegged copy of XP. This is legit. I am holding the packaging in my hand – see?
It’s approaching a half hour and that guy is still strumming. There hasn’t been one voice nor any hint I might have misdialed. Maybe instead of Microsoft I’ve gotten hold of the non-descript guitarist hotline? No way to know.
Even worse, it’s a short piece that keeps repeating… and repeating… and repeating.
If this were work, it would be on my speakerphone. Here at home it means phone firmly between chin and shoulder. I am tethered in place and can accomplish nothing.
A few minutes ago, a call came for Helaine. I answered it, but didn’t take more than 5 seconds, telling her Helaine would call back. Hey – you only get one shot. I don’t want to go to the back of the line.
I want to know if Bill Gates waits this long? Actually, at this moment, I just want Bill Gates!
Addenum – After around an hour, I was getting suspicious this might end up my life’s work. We have another phone, and I called on that line. It wasn’t more than a few minutes (after hearing the same guitar music) before I was speaking to a woman with an Indian accent.
After swearing on my parents that this copy of XP is only in one machine, I was allowed to activate it.
Now, who gives me back the hour I lost?