Helaine is going to college tomorrow to ‘fetch’ Stef and bring her back for her spring break. We are looking forward to her being here.
Of course there are challenges we face when our 18-year old returns that we didn’t face with our 8-year old. She’s been in college and answerable to no one but herself.
It’s doubtful any parent approves of every thing their child does at college. Ignorance is bliss.
Now, compromise is in order. Helaine and I will have to be more understanding of a child who is mostly an adult… and our child will have to be understanding of parents who’d like to put her in bubble wrap.
Will it work? Can both sides move enough to avoid conflict? Probably not. We’ll try.
In the meantime, I am looking forward to having this mostly adult child home. I want to see how college has ‘aged’ her… then again, maybe not.
I have a daughter that is finishing her second year of college now (UCONN), so I completely understand what you’re going through. Yes, they definitely change, and sometimes not always in a way that we are pleased with. But it’s all a part of their maturing that I find facinating to watch over time. I’ve learned to simply accept most of what comes, though I may not necessarily agree with it, as they tend to change more than once over the passing months. It’s like a change of mental clothes, if you will, trying on new ideas to see if they “fit” for them. As for the home front, however, it does need to be made clear if there are house rules you expect to be followed – regardless of the age of the child, legal adult or not. It is YOUR HOME. If there is mutual respect between you, this won’t be an issue. Something tells me this is likely the case for you. Most importantly, enjoy the time with your daughter! There will come a day, sooner than you would like, when they won’t want to come home anymore and have built their own lives – which don’t always include the parents. All the best to you and yours, as always.