The Cuddle Positions

Cuddling is very important for all the usual reasons, plus Helaine keeps the house cold enough she could be arrested as a slumlord!

Helaine and I have been married 27 years. That’s a lot of time together. You learn a lot about your partner.

A few years ago she let me know there was a tapping ritual I performed every night after I brushed my teeth. Same taps against the sink with the brush EVERY night. I didn’t know!

Ray Romano jokes about couples deciding which side of the bed they’ll sleep on for the rest of their lives… the first time they sleep together.

With all this in mind I thought I’d tell you about our cuddle positions. We have three. Cuddling is very important for all the usual reasons, plus Helaine keeps the house cold enough she could be arrested as a slumlord!

We begin the night spooning, both on our right side. My left arm is over Helaine. We’re not sure where my right arm is–probably under my pillow.

After a while we do a 180 and Helaine spoons me. At this point she normally fixes my pajama top.

The third position comes much later. I’m in the original spoon position, but Helaine is on her back and her legs are over mine.

At some point we part and sleep the rest of the night separated.

How did this all come about? Got me.

We assume most couples have some sort of ritual like this… but if I’m wrong break it to me gently.

16 thoughts on “The Cuddle Positions”

  1. Sounds right on! 27 years is a very long time and it’s nice to hear there are still couples not only still married but still cuddling as well! Many more to you both πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing.

  2. So true! We start out 1 way and then decide when we are tired enough to fall asleep to split apart and sleep apart. In the early am we sometimes awake and find our way back to each other and are so tired we fall asleep easily. The whole ritual is very comforting.

  3. We’ve been married 15 years and we actually changed bed sides when we moved. It took awhile to get used to it. We have a similar ritual, though it is often disturbed by a five-year-old these days.

  4. 26 years but I spent half my nights at an ambulance station. When i am a home my side of the bed is firmly fixed as “left”. As far as cuddling that was all shot to hell by Roxy (aka 55lbs of birth control). Lenore keeps the waterbed heater turned up. I’m usually on top of the covers and she is under.

  5. My husband always slept on the side of the bed that was closest to the door. I am now, not sure, if this was meant to protect me, or the fact that he was often called out in the middle of the night and this would make exiting easier. We had a wonderful 26 years. Now I keep pillows and books on that side of the bed —to alleviate the emptiness. I hope you and Helaine cherish everyone of those nights for many more years.
    Barb

  6. Then, there is the married 37 year ritual—falling asleep and being woken suddenly by a cacophony of snorts, wheezes and outright snoring. It is followed by the person who’s been awakened trying to “unsnore” their partner by turning quickly, or sliding a foot over to kick the offender and when all else fails, give them a shove in the most loving manner and hiss, “Roll over, you’re SNORING!!”….

  7. Our routine goes as follows after 15 years of marriage. 2 dogs one 9 lb and one 85 lbs get situated. then we kind of situate ourselves around them. My husband is the one that is always snuggling up to me. I am even lucky to get a spot on the bed at all so once I find a place, I stay pretty much in that position all night. then without fail everyone is quiet and settled in and fire tone goes off everyone jumps out of bed at once as my husband leaves in the middle of the night to go to a fire. Then when he returns we go through the first routine over again. needless to say we don’t get very many full nights of sleep in our household.

  8. We’ve been together 15 years, but work different hours (me early AM, he works nights). If I’m still awake when he gets home I get “pit time”. I burrow into his left armpit, entwine our legs together and go to sleep in a full body hug. By morning were separated by a cat and a 70 lb. black lab!

  9. Barb said:
    My husband always slept on the side of the bed that was closest to the door. I am now, not sure, if this was meant to protect me, or the fact that he was often called out in the middle of the night and this would make exiting easier. We had a wonderful 26 years. Now I keep pillows and books on that side of the bed β€”to alleviate the emptiness. I hope you and Helaine cherish everyone of those nights for many more years.

    There is SOME scientific data that says men ALWAYS sleep closest to the door for the very reason you state. It says that men are programmed from the early (cave man days) to be closest to the opening (read door) for protection. Weird. I live alone and I too sleep closest to the door. In the past year and a half I’ve moved my bed twice and I’m still sleeping closest to the door.

    Anyone else want to comment?

  10. I sleep on the left side and my husband sleeps on the right side. Some nights, he is awake and we hold hands. He is usually asleep when I get to bed so I tuck my hand in the crook of his arm, that being my left hand in his right arm and we are on our backs. Sometimes I will say “coldie” and he will put his arm around me spooning on our right. He also taps his razor on the side of the sink 5 times under the faucet as he is shaving.

  11. Chris Jennings – my husband wasn’t programmed right!! I sleep closest to the door since it was easiest for me to get to the babies when they were small. Don’t think I don’t realize that it would always be me that they would come to first when they woke in the middle of the night that way, too. As for sleep positions – I am a back and side sleeper and he is an “all over” sleeper who must fall asleep on his belly. We generally start out with him spooning me so he can achieve maximum warmth as I, too, like a cold house. Once he has used me for body heat and is ready for sleep, he leaves. He then proceeds to destroy the bed while I barely move. In the past couple of years he has started to travel for work and I spend many a night alone, in the middle of the bed. In the morning, it hardly looks like anyone has been there. Somehow, for more than 18 years, it has worked.

  12. Really unnecessary posting, if you ask me. Why don’t you tell us who prefers the top to the bottom? At first I sought out your web presence because of what happened at the news station. After I read this, I really didn’t care.

    Sleeping together, actually sleeping, is the most intimate act. More so than having sex, in my world.

    I sleep with a dog. No, really. A canine. And if I had a sleeping partner, I certainly wouldn’t be telling the world our spooning, forking, or kniving habits.

    Especially when looking for a j-o-b.

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