The Tuxedo Story–Another Found Photo

There where my black tuxedo had been sat a beigey yellowish polyester tux!

Helaine and I were married November 26, 1983. I knew that. I only took off my wedding band to confirm. This story takes place on that very day.

Though I lived in Buffalo (and by that time Helaine was living with me) we were married just outside Philadelphia. Guests were coming in from all over. My parents, relatives and friends were all still in New York (though none are today).

We had basically taken over the Sheraton in Fort Washington, PA. I was there along with my rented tuxedo and additional clothing for our honeymoon in Acapulco.

Everything was moving smoothly. My parents were in a good mood because they knew Helaine would be joining our family. Helaine’s parents weren’t as lucky–they were getting me!

By mid afternoon it was time to get everything in order, including my wedding attire. I went to the closet, picked up the garment bag with my clothes and unzipped it. There where my black tuxedo had been sat a beigey yellowish polyester tux!

Are you kidding? I was getting married in a few hours.

I’d picked up and tried on the tuxedo earlier. I’d carried it to the hotel. I’d seen the tuxedo in the bag. There was no way it wasn’t there… except it wasn’t.

Instead of thinking the problem through I believed my eyes… and then I panicked!

Remember this was ’83. No cellphones. No computers.

I began to scramble. I called the tuxedo shop where my suit had been rented and explained what had happened. They would stay open for me to go and get another tux. It would be touch-and-go, but I had no choice.

I was very upset. How could this happen?

I ran to my car, started it up and began to pull out of the hotel’s parking lot. I would be cutting it close for my own wedding.

It was then one of my friends jumped on the hood of the car to stop me!

It was a joke! I was punked twenty years before the term was coined.

The photo that accompanies this entry shows me on-the-phone trying to arrange for a replacement tux. I am flanked by my friends Howard and the secretive guy from the San Fernando Valley (here’s the three of us from last month).

We are still friends today. How I ever forgave them is beyond me.

Footnote: The same polyester tux turned up at Howard’s wedding and the wedding of his brother Jeff. I’m unsure who has custody of the tuxedo now, but a suit like that can’t be killed.

12 thoughts on “The Tuxedo Story–Another Found Photo”

  1. My father-in-law has one of those beigey yellowish tuxedos. No, he did NOT wear it when I married his daughter. My 18-year-old son almost wore it to his junior prom last year… thankfully, he came to his senses and 1) didn’t wear it and 2) did not waste all that dough-re-mi on a silly “practice” prom!

  2. ROTFLMAO!…. This is just hilarious! What a great “get”. Your friends should’ve been commended then beaten!!!! When we got married back in ’73, my sweet little Grandpa was so thrilled with his rented tux, that he slept in it. He told my Grandmother that he’d never had a suit quite like that and he wasn’t taking it off til he had to bring it back. She was horrified that he wore it to bed. Said he looked like he was being “laid out”…He claimed he was just getting his money’s worth….

  3. Nice Nike’s! Great picture in B&W no less. Shows the Dark Ages existed as far back as ’83. And I also agree with the above comment.

  4. OMG! You look you’re about 17 in this picture. Are you sure you were going to your wedding that day and not your prom?

  5. Ok, I am the guy in the right in the picture. A couple of misplaced facts in this…and I will take full credit for masterminding the whole thing.

    Geoff’s mother hasn’t spoken to me since the wedding. Boy were his parents pissed.

    First, Geoff didn’t get the tux at a local tux shop. He rented it in Buffalo where he was living at the time. He had to go to Phili early and the tux wasn’t going to be ready. As a favor, he asked me to go and pick up the Tux for him and schlep it to Phili. I considered him one of my best friends so….ok I did it.

    While on the way to Phili I hatched the plan and brought a few of our friends into it. Yes, I gave Geoff the Black tux, he took it to his room and tried it on…all was well and good. Some how I conned his room key from him. I probably was very very sneaky and said “hey, Geoff give me your room key” and he did. In the quiet of the early afternoon, I slipped the key to my brother who made the switch to the polyester size small PUKE ORANGE tux. My brother’s then brother in law owned a close out warehouse. He bought a railroad car of these tuxedos…….we bought the only one. Schlepped both tuxes to Philly.

    Second, Geoff more than just panicked. The situation got totally out of control. His parents were holding court in the coffee shop. He ran in and shouted his dilemma ……….ouch. The place went crazy. Geoff then ran to the phone (picture) and began calling every tux shop in alphabetical order in the phone book. Lots of dimes…no cells. He found one shop on the other side of Philly that would stay open for him.

    He was encouraged by the “stranger from the San Fernando valley” to get in the car and drive cross town. He would have never made it back in time for the wedding.

    I screamed at our friend Bob who jumped on the hood of the car and stopped Geoff and the “stranger” from leaving the parking lot. I pounded on the window and told Geoff all was well and it was a joke. At that point I was certain that I was going to lose my Best Man status.

    But, I accomplished one of my duties….I gave Geoff a story that will live forever……..and hopefully through the test of time….I think he finally gets the Joke.

    I love, respect and support Geoff as I have for many years. I, as you can see, am first to take credit for everything.

    I have quite a score card with Geoff……..I take full credit for Helaine and for that I am so proud. All these years and they are still happily married. A great thing. And I’m proud of their daughter who lives and works out here in California and never calls her uncle Howard……(kidding)

    The epilogue……. The next to get married was my brother. We slipped the orange tux into his luggage and he schlepped it to the Middle East and back.

    That tux has been to more countries than all of us…..and it went 1st class.

    The next to get married was me…….(number 2)……….and somehow the tux made it to my wedding and to this day hangs proudly in my closet. My wife wishes it were gone. She came later…..and doesn’t get the joke.

    To all of you supporting Geoff……thank you on behalf of his west coast friends. The Connecticut Weather fans are the greatest weather fans in the world.

    Howard

    1. Howard is correct. He remembers the story better than ‘stressed out’ Geoff ever could!

      He is not only responsible for marital encouragement, it was he who pointed me in the right direction for my first on-air job! I owe Howard a lot.

      I know he takes pride seeing the great support so many of you have shown. This is what friends do.

  6. Howard is correct. He remembers the story better than ‘stressed out’ Geoff ever could!

    He is not only responsible for marital encouragement, it was he who pointed me in the right direction for my first on-air job! I owe Howard a lot.

    I know he takes pride seeing the great support so many of you have shown. This is what friends do.

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