Leaving Nassau At 64 Times Actual Speed

This is 64 times real speed. At this rate the ship’s motion resembles a sports car’s!

I shot a little video during our vacation aboard the Carnival Fascination. The HDAVC footage is a pain-in-the-ass to edit natively. Format conversion is time consuming.

Oh, what the hell. I bit the bullet and did it in two pieces, yesterday and today.

This is 64 times real speed. At this rate the ship’s motion resembles a sports car’s!

The ship was docked bow in. It pivoted with its bow thrusters and then sped away.

We Nearly Got Killed On The Way To Our Vacation

By the time we’d seen the car it was too late. Had I been in my normal spot we’d be dead.

The title is serious. We almost got killed on I-91 just north of Hartford! I didn’t tell the story during our vacation because it was a little too spooky.

It was just before 5:00 AM last Saturday and we were northbound to Bradley. The road was dark. There was light traffic. I was doing around 70 mph. I’m usually a left lane driver, but was in the center as we passed the highway jumble that is Hartford.

“Look out,” Helaine yelled.

I turned my head left and for less than a second watched a car approach and then pass me. He was in the northbound left lane but he was heading soutbound at a high rate of speed! We probably passed each other at 150 mph.

For a moment neither Helaine nor I could get the image out of our minds. By the time we’d seen the car it was too late. Had I been in my normal spot we’d be dead.

I grabbed her hand and we proceeded silently for a moment. Then I picked up my cell and dialed 911.

“He’s probably in Downtown Hartford by now,” I told the State Police dispatcher. I dialed our TV station’s newsroom next.

Jason, a producer, answered. “Call the State Police in a few minutes,” I said. “Check and see if anything happens.”

All we could do was hope the driver figured out what was going on and exited the highway. There was no reported accident.

When it’s your time, it’s your time. It wasn’t ours yet.

On The Way Back Home–Jacksonville Airport

Helaine said it reminded her of prison.

The last night on a cruise is sad. Everywhere you walk bags line the hallways. Things are shutting down. Accounts are settled up.

IMG_7814.jpgWe went to the late show and saw Frank Del Pizzo‘s “R” rated show. Now I’m a huge fan. He was side splittingly funny. Were there curse words? Sure. But he wasn’t crude or inappropriate. He also did more “callbacks” than any other comedian I can remember!

He’s coming to New Haven. Maybe we’ll see him again, though I suspect it’s the same act.

We headed to the casino. I sat at the single poker table and won a few bucks (literally), but by midnight an unfriendly looking man in an Austin Powers Nehru suit came to tell us the casino would close at midnight. For whatever reason the ship was heading into Jacksonville early. We spent the overnight hours docked and out of international waters.

Helaine took care of packing. Most of it was done during the day. She finished when we returned to the cabin. For the Foxes, this was a lightly packed trip and that paid off.

I’m writing this from the Jacksonville Airport. The TSA screening area was very busy as we walked the rat maze. The TSA’s domain is totally lit with fluorescent lights. Helaine said it reminded her of prison, though

  • How would she know what a prison is like?
  • Wouldn’t prisons use more soothing lighting to cut down on violence?

Just asking.

IMG_7818.jpgFinally, the end of Concourse “C” at Jacksonville has a large 30 foot tall window. A semi-transparent applique is affixed to it showing a giant woman with a shopping bag.

Today’s flight leaves at 12:55 and stops briefly in Baltimore before heading to Bradley International.

I am tired.

Steaming Northbound Toward Jacksonville

Our ship left Half Moon Cay under cloudy skies. No sunset pictures for me.

It was windy–meaning choppy seas. I estimate 2-4 foot swells with small whitecaps. Yes, you can feel the ship sway through the water. I stopped the Dramamine a few days ago and, knock wood, no queasiness.

If there was a show, we didn’t see it. After dinner Helaine and I walked to the casino where I redistributed most, not all, of my winnings.

There is no shortage of eating opportunities onboard. We had sushi at a small stand between the casino and theater last night. There is also pizza available 24 hours a day at the cafe at the aft end of the ship. There are freshly baked sweets in the same area. Cofffee, iced tea and juices are available and served without charge.

Some ships have ‘extra cost’ restaurants. Not this older ship.

Helaine and I have discussed the cost of this cruise more than once over the last few days. It’s really quite reasonable. Here’s my guess. The cruise itself is a break even situation for the line. The real money is made in ancillary sales. This ship–all cruise ships exist to be stores.

From the time you board until your disembark there are things for sale. Sometimes they are items you can’t get on land–not always. They are always priced high. We have heard, more than once, of 4-figure bar bills! Not being drinkers has its advantage.

The ship has a crew of staff photographers. They are visible any place people aggregate, whether it be the entrance to the dining room or theater or the gangway while in port. They print every photo and cover a large open area with them. They are sold at outrageous prices.

There are also shops selling watches and jewelery and knick-knacks. It’s tough for me to make a judgment call on price, but experience says no bargains. The ship also sells, or actually resells, shore excursions, cellphone service and Internet access.

I don’t hold any of this against the cruise line. This is their business and they are entitled to make money.

On the other hand, I am distressed with the cruise business and its removal of assets from US rules and taxes. This ship is registered in the Bahamas. Others are registered in Panama. The ship’s officers are Italian. The remainder of the crew is a virtual United Nations of the seas reperesenting dozens of countries–not the U.S. Other than a few entertainers I saw no American staff. None.

Make no mistake–this ship and dozens more like it would make nothing without US passengers and ports. Virtually every passenger boarded in the United States and is an American resident. If there was a distress call it wouldn’t be the Bahamian Navy coming to our rescue.

As I remember, even the owner of this cruise line personally left the United States for tax purposes (please correct me if I am wrong).

Back to the trip… after breakfast we headed to the pool deck to watch an ice carving demonstration. With a few hand tools one of the kitchen staff transformed a huge block of ice into a pair of love birds atop a heart. He attracted quite a crowd and plenty of photographers and videographers.

—pause—

We’ve just gone for the galley tour. Years ago there were galley, bridge and even engine room tours. Now, post 9-11, the other two are out but the galley tour persists. I suppose it’s tougher to poison a ship full of people than steer us into rocks.

It is astounding to see the method to the madness of service a few thousand guests. Even though first seating is only a few hours away there wasn’t that much hustle and bustle going on. As Helaine pointed out, if we’re having guests there’s plenty of action two hours before!

Back in the room Helaine is packing for departure. We’ll be in Jacksonville early tomorrow morning and hopefully through customs and at the airport in time for our 12:55 PM flight to Bradley.

This was a wonderful vacation. It’s not for everyone. We made a list of our friends who are ill suited for cruising. It’s a long list. For us it’s nearly perfect.

My next post from dry land.

—-

Oh–I almost forgot. Carnival has towel animals. Each night when we get in after dinner Andy, our room steward, has fashioned one or more towels into some sort of critter. Last night’s was probably a cat–we’re not 100% sure.

We’ve been on lines that didn’t have towel animals and missed them.

Anchored Off Half Moon Cay

A cruise is for relaxing–and we have relaxed. Still, a lot has gone on since yesterday afternoon when I last posted.

After dinner we headed to the theater for the evening’s show. We were worried about getting good seats so we showed up early which meant we were there in time for the end of BINGO. Call me a snobbish member of the media elite, but why do people play this game? Adding to the ‘fun’ was a cruise staff member who brought insincerity to new heights and who Helaine said looked like Robin Leach’s illegitimate son in ill fitting clothes. Too many buffets!

A new set of comedians came on board in Nassau. The first guy was billed as “Physical Comedian Howard Mincone,” so I figured Carrot Top or Gallagher (or, more likely Gallagher II). Not funny! At points embarrassingly not funny. I actually felt bad for this guy. We would have left, but we were close enough to the stage to be seen.

He was followed by Frank Del Pizzo. The name was familiar though his act was not. This was standard fare stand-up and he was pretty good. We’ll go back for the “R” rated show tomorrow night. Please–tell Howard not to come!

God–I hope Howard doesn’t Google his name from the ship.

After the show we wandered to the casino and, again, I sat down for poker. My pre-cruise expectation was the table would be full of poker neophytes–easy pickings. BINGO! Last night I quickly won $160 from a $50 stake playing $1/$2 no limit. I was called down and paid off twice when reasonable players would have folded.

There’s no guarantee the pickings will be as easy tonight or that I didn’t confuse good luck with good play. We’ll see.

We woke up this morning anchored off a beautiful island. Carnival calls it Half Moon Cay–but that’s not it’s real name. Carnival got this island when it bought Holland America. The Half Moon was Henry Hudson’s ship of exploration. Half Moon Cay is just too convenient.

We watched the island’s little tenders bob up and down as they tied up to a hatchway off Deck 3. It was breezy and cool as we set out. Some people were already returning to get sweatshirts. Helaine headed to the room to get ours, but they were never needed.

The Sun was bright. The water was mild. The beach was a pale powder with no rocks nor shells. The ocean threw waves just a few inches tall.

There were lots of people on the beach, but also plenty of lounge chairs. I took some photos and video then joined Helaine at the edge of the crowd. I laid on my back and quickly fell asleep. This is the life!

We headed back to the ship for some lunch, though by the smell of things there was a barbeque somewhere on the beach.

I continue to be impressed by this cruise. Our tickets were reasonably priced. The value is high. We have not been bored. There’s always something to do or see or eat!

——

In our cabin we have access to CNN and CNN International. It quickly becomes obvious CNN is CNN Dumb compared to CNN International. Are Americans really that stupid that we need newscasts dilluted with sensationalized stories of crime and style?

The world is important. We miss so much.

——-

I am reading emails, but responding…. not until on shore. The Internet is priced like gold!

Funky Nassau

We took a walk down the dock and up to Bay Street, which I think is the main drag. The city is bustling and the people seemed friendly. Three ships means seven or eight thousand visitors additional in one day!

We got an elephant! This was Helaine’s greatest anticipation and biggest fear. She wanted towel animals–sorely missed on our NCL cruise to Mexico.

When I went back to the room for a few minutes, he was waiting on the bed–our white elephant. Helaine’s sunglasses finished the look as his eyes.

It’s funny how a tiny stateroom can really have enough room–but it does. There is plenty of closet space and four small drawers. We put the suitcases under our bed and some bulky stuff on the top of the closet.

Last night had prime rib and lobster on the menu. I decided on the prime rib, but Helaine asked the waiter to bring me both–and he did. I’m a growing boy.

We went to the smaller showroom for Tony Esposito’s “R” rated show. Trust me–we’ve heard plenty worse without the “R” warning. I’ve become a Tony Esposito fan. He’s very funny.

I have a suspicion he’s a lot less good old boy/redneck than he claims. No–he is from the south, but from time-to-time something sophisticated comes out which belies his claimed simplicity.

It was another night with plenty of sleep! The ship really isn’t rocking that much so I suspect it’s the “less drowsy” Dramamine I’ve been taking. So, as of this morning I’ve gone off the meds, but not quite cold turkey. Before the trip Helaine started me on ginger capsules. I am very prone to seasickness. We’ll see how I fare without help.

We woke up docked in Nassau, Bahamas. Next to us was the Disney Wonder and alongside it Carnival’s Valor. We are the smallest of the three ships even with our seventy some-odd-thousand tons of displacement.

We took a walk down the dock and up to Bay Street, which I think is the main drag. The city is bustling and the people seemed friendly. Three ships means seven or eight thousand visitors additional in one day!

Among the coolest things is a lone policeman on a pedestal directing traffic with his gloved hands. He is all spit and polish and precision. There had to be a dozen little camcorders trained on him. One of the few times I’ve seen people recording video.

On the horizon Atlantis dominates. There are two huge hotel buildings. Helaine and I both have heard stories of people being nickel-and-dimed incessantly while there. We passed.

This is a short port call. We’ll be leaving around 6:00 o’clock.

A Lazy Day At Sea

No–there are no buts. The ship is very nice. So far I am pleasantly surprised/pleased by this Carnival cruise.

“The ship is very nice,” I said as I walked back in the room a few moments ago.

“But,” Helaine replied?

No–there are no buts. The ship is very nice. So far I am pleasantly surprised/pleased by this Carnival cruise. There is a lot to like.

We’d asked for early seating so were surprised when we got our assignment for late seating! Our decision was more a result of indecision, so this substitution wasn’t much of a problem. We headed for the Sensation Dining Room and were escorted to a table for six. A lone couple was sitting there.

For a few minutes it was mostly awkward silence and then we began to chat with Robert and Terry from Panama City, Florida. He is in construction, she hair. They’re both in second marriages, both with two children of their own–mid and late teens.

Terry has never seen snow!

We and they could not be more different and yet they’re great dinner company. I’m not sure there’s another way we could have met… but we did. Shipboard luck.

Dinner was was pretty good. The steak was a little dry. Helaine had touted the “Chocolate Melting Cake” based on what she’d read on line. Thank you Internet posters! The cake was great.

We headed to the main showroom for the “Welcome Aboard” show. If you’ve ever been on a cruise, you’ve seen this show. The ship features an oversized combo they refer to as an orchestra. They’d be better with better arrangements.

There were around a dozen boy and girl dancers. Each danced well, though no two started or stopped at the same time!

There was a featured male and female singer and they really could sing. Nice.

The cruise director was the emcee. That’s what cruise directors do.

The featured act was Tony Esposito, an Italian guy from the south. The southern Tony dominates the Italian. He was very funny. We’ll come back for his “R” rated show tonight.

Saturday began in the middle-of-the-night for us. I was spent long before midnight. We went to the casino anyway.

It was about this time I realized this ship and the NCL ship we were on a few years ago are very similar. In fact, they might be built from the same design. I’ll have to check when we’re back in Connecticut.

I love poker. The ship has a “PokerPro” electronic table. My thought was I’d eat up the competition, made mostly of people who never play. Maybe I will, but it’s going to be tougher than I though because of the rake structure. Rake is how casinos make money at the poker table. Mostly it’s 10%. Here it’s 12.5% and a $6, not $4, cap. That’s a huge amount of money removed from the table with each hand.

Today was a day at sea. I spent it walking the decks and shooting pictures. The weather was mainly sunny with a high in the mid-70s. The breeze was light.

This is not February in Connecticut!

Leaving Port

As long as I still have reasonable Internet access via my cell phone, here’s a look at our departure from Jacksonville. It was windy and very chilly, but gorgeous!

The signature bridge for this harbor is the Napoleon Bonaparte Bridge.

We’re Onboard

It’s a chilly day in Northeastern Florida. There is a significant breeze. Still, I don’t need a coat. That covers a variety of sins!

Good grief–so many lines… so much security… and here we are.

Our ship is the Carnival Fascination. It is pretty and well kept, though you can see its age showing in some places. We are docked in Jacksonville on the St. Johns River.

It’s a chilly day in Northeastern Florida. There is a significant breeze. Still, I don’t need a coat. That covers a variety of sins!

Boat drill has been called. Gotta go.

On The Way To Jacksonville

When a TSA agent opens my bag and sees a camera, lenses and myriad of cables, does he really know what he’s looking at and that I’m OK?

FlightAware_BWI_APD_AIRPORT DIAGRAM.pngIt’s just after 8:00 AM. Helaine and I are sitting, back to the window, at Gate 2A BWI.

I am old enough to remember this being Friendship International Airport. Little is friendly in airports now. We are on our way to Jacksonville to pick up our ship for a five day cruise.

No free WiFi. I pulled a cable out of my bag and hooked the computer to my cellphone. Ran a quick speed test. 1356 Kbps down/306 Kbps up–not bad.

Helaine went upstairs and pretended to sleep early. I pretended late. I don’t think I got an hour. I can’t imagine she got any more.

Saturday morning travel is different than weekday. More families. More confusion. More guys, like the guy I saw, baffled as TSA asked about the three drinks in his carry-on.

Bought a magazine and book. Went to the gate. Four TSA agents were there going through bags. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but all I could think of was the Gestapo in a World War II movie. They were polite, but you had no choice but to be quiet and submit.

When a TSA agent opens my bag and sees a camera, lenses and myriad of cables, does he really know what he’s looking at and that I’m OK?

I fell right asleep on the plane. Now I a more tired.

I told Helaine I was looking forward to getting into our cabin so I could nap.

Right now I feel like the clipped sentences I am writing.