Jon Stewart On The Oscars

My friend Farrell has already written me four or five times on this subject. The last time, attaching an article, he wrote the single word, “Ouch!”

Jon Stewart was a major disappointment at the Oscars.

I guess the good news is, he was a disappointment because he’s normally so good. The bad news is, for many people, this is their introduction – and possibly their final impression.

Tom Shales was brutal in today’s Washington Post – but Shales specializes in being brutal&#185.

It’s hard to believe that professional entertainers could have put together a show less entertaining than this year’s Oscars, hosted with a smug humorlessness by comic Jon Stewart, a sad and pale shadow of great hosts gone by.

I wonder what’s going through Stewart’s mind today? Is he having second thoughts about he approached the broadcast? Has he just tossed it off and moved back to his ‘real’ life?

&#185 – After I put this online, Farrell called and questioned my characterization of Shales.

Shales does not specialize in being brutal. He writes better than anyone on the subject of television period. He’s honest, frank. Likes TV and when he sees something good, he praises it. When he sees something bad, he’ll write and say so. And you can quote me, WeatherBoy&#153!

Continue reading “Jon Stewart On The Oscars”

We’re Making A Movie

As I type this, Ray Flynn is editing our movie, “External Monologue” on a Mac here on the kitchen table.

We started early. Actually, I started excruciatingly early – 6:30 AM. Helaine woke up and I was too jazzed to go back to sleep. Three hours – as I’m now seeing, not enough sleep for me.

As hard as we tried to preplan, it became obvious much of this would be written today.

The members of our movie team started arriving around 8:20. At 8:50 neither our writer nor director had shown. No problem. They made it in the nick of time.

Our ingredients, the special things this movie had to have, arrived via email at 9:00 AM sharp.

July 16, 2005

CINEMASPORTS Remote Ingredients and Guidelines

Here are the ingredients for today’s event. No interpretation is wrong, so be creative.

1. An unexpected visitor

2. A tickle

3. Crumpled paper

Movies should be 3 minutes or less. (20 seconds allowed for credits, so movies should not exceed 3:20 min. total.)

Not much time. Still, we took well over an hour before we shot the first frame of video. Everyone threw ideas back and forth.

A concept that Chris Arnott and Hugh Mackay brought with them was our framework. The rest was molded to fit.

People brought medical instruments, lab coats, all sorts of things. We used none of them! That was OK.

On the other hand, a lineman for a local utility drove by in his bucket truck… and we got him to shoot a few seconds of ‘crane’ video. Not too shabby for an ad lib.

I’m not going to say much, because I expect to put the finished product here on the website tonight or tomorrow. Why spoil the fun.

The question is, will we be finished in time? At the moment we’re two and a half hours from the deadline to start uploading. I think we’re OK.

The accent is on the word think.

Making A Movie

I don’t know how the bug bit me… but it did. Ever since I first read about ‘instant’ movie fests, I needed to try one.

I scouted the Internet and finally latched on Cinemasports, out of San Fransisco. They sponsor competitions&#185 from various locations. The filmaker gets a list of ingredients – a name, a character, a place, some dialog, and then fashions a short movie in a very short time span – usually no more than 9 or 10 hours!

In that time the script has to be written, or rewritten to include the ingredients, then shot and edited and uploaded. I’m breaking out in a sweat already.

The finished movie is no longer than three or four minutes. Still, it must be a real structured movie… well, it doesn’t have to be anything, but you’d like it to be a real structured movie because people are going to watch it that night in a club in San Fransisco.

When I started calling friends, asking if they’d like to be involved, I was surprised, because everyone said yes! In the end, not everyone could fit it into their schedule but we’ve still got a good turnout.

Our Director of Photography is Ray Flynn. He used to work with me at the TV station. Now, he runs a production company. He’s a good guy, plus he has the equipment.

The Director is Hugh Mackay. This is a great leap of faith because I’ve never met Hugh! He comes recommended by our writer, so why not?

Chris Arnott is the principal writer. I say principal because it’s a good guess there will be improvisation and suggestions from the rest of us. Chris writes for the New Haven Advocate, so he can push out words against deadline.

He and I had dinner this evening. It was Hollywood on I-95. I was ‘taking’ a dinner with the writer.

He has ideas, but it’s going to be tough to pin anything specific down because we need to work in the ingredients. More specifically, we want it to look like they belong, not that they were squeezed in.

Rick Allison, professional voice guy, poker fiend, bon vivant, will be there. I’m not exactly sure what Rick will do, but Chris said he wants to take advantage of Rick’s pipes. He has an incredible and distinctive voice. Trust me, you’ve heard his voice.

We’ll all be acting. That’s for sure. We’ll also all be holding boom mikes or reflectors or logging shots. There’s plenty to do in the field.

My friends Steve and Harvey (as opposed to Steve Harvey) are also in on the action. The funny things is, they’re the most educated – both being physicians. They have the least amount of discernible skill in this endeavor. They’ll probably have the most fun. If nothing else, Harvey is going to learn to edit using Final Cut Pro on his laptop, which he’s bringing.

I am the producer. I really don’t know exactly what a producer does. I picked up the check for dinner tonight. That’s a first step.

I’ll try and draw everyone together to get this to be a team effort.

Actually, the team might not be done. Depending on what he writes, Chris will recruit a few more actors and (this is so over-the-top it’s beyond me) someone to score the film!

Yes – a four minute movie with an original score. How cool is that?

So, there you have it. Our production opens and closes Saturday. Barring unforeseen grief, I expect to post the film right here for anyone to see.

Wish us luck.

&#185 – Competition is probably a bad word, but the best I can come up with at the moment.

The Sprint Saga Finally Ends – I Think

I think my long distance problems are now solved. If you haven’t been following, you can read all the details here. Good lord, dental work is less painful!

On Friday I spoke with representatives of the Connecticut DPUC and Sprint. Though the DPUC had dropped the ball, and admitted so to me, I think Sprint’s actions are more troubling.

I have decided to follow up with a complaint to the FCC, which is detailed in a letter linked just below this entry.

Continue reading “The Sprint Saga Finally Ends – I Think”

The Mind as a Relational Database

One of the most powerful functions a computer can perform is to manipulate a relational database. How are two or more seemingly non-connected things related?

Our brains work very much this way. You think of one thing, which reminds you of another thing, which… well, you get the idea.

I was on the phone today with my friend Paul. I’ve known him for 35 years and we’ve been friends all that time. Paul has been referred to as “Raider of the Lost Archives,” because he has found obscure and often unseen television programs and found a way to get them on the air and make money with them. Good skill to have.

Over the past few years Paul has produced DVD compilations of old TV series. His joy, and what makes these DVDs stand out, are his special features where the original stars come back to comment today on what went on decades ago. It’s Paul’s work on the Dick Van Dyke Show DVD series and many others that make them so special and worth collecting.

He’s working on The Twilight Zone now. It’s amazing how many big stars appeared on the original Twilight Zone before they were big stars.

We were talking today and the conversation got around to a Twilight Zone episode that no one who ever saw it will ever forget, It’s a Good Life. In this episode, a pre-teen Billy Mumy&#185 is able to ‘punish’ people for their bad thoughts by ‘wishing them into the cornfield. I always felt it was incredibly creepy and judging by what I’ve read as I did a little research tonight, I am not alone.

Here’s where relational databases or at least their human equivalent come in.

As I was thinking of this episode, I thought of one of the actors, Max Showalter. Max played one of the neighbors,.. the man who played the piano. He’s in the credits as Casey Adams. I don’t know why.

Max was in a zillion movies and TV shows, He might be best known as the piano playing reverend who presides over Bo Derek’s wedding in “10.” He was also in Niagara, with Marilyn Monroe.

Max, who died a few years ago, was a Connecticut resident who came to the television station many times in the 80s and 90s. Other than being charming, Max was fun to be with because he had lived the ‘real’ Hollywood life when Hollywood was in its heyday and had stories about everyone.

Believe me, I’m not doing this on purpose, but this is how my pea brain is working today; finding relationships between unconnected names and events.

Anyway, Max came to the television station to promote an event. He was doing some sort of theater tribute in Chester, where he lived. He had convinced his long time friend, Debbie Reynolds to appear – and I believe there was even a retrospective of her films shown.

So, Debbie Reynolds, big time Hollywood star, is in our little TV station and she’s going to be interviewed on the news at 5:30. Diane Smith, who was anchoring that newscast at the time, wandered into the makeup room only to find Debbie there with a make-up kit the size of a large tool chest.

“Where’s the make-up man honey?” Debbie said to Diane.

I can tell you, though at the time Diane didn’t think she could tell Debbie, we don’t have a make-up man. Not knowing what to do, Diane said she’d get the news director. In this business everyone in the newsroom reports to the news director. He’s the chief. But Debbie was Hollywood.

“Forget the director,” she said, “bring me the producer.”

As it turned out, Diane ended up doing Debbie’s makeup – something she’ll never forget!

Anyway, this story came to me because of that Twilight Zone DVD talk. It’s funny how the mind associates.

One more Debbie Reynolds story before I go. It was 6-7 years ago at Paul’s son’s Bar Mitzvah. We were in Los Angeles for the reception at the Sofitel across from the Beverly Center.

Helaine and I were seated with… you guessed it – Debbie Reynolds. She’s a friend of Paul’s.

Meanwhile, in the middle of the affair we ran into people we hadn’t seen in years. So, I picked up the camera and motioned to Debbie. I’m sure she was ready to get into the picture, something I know she’s done graciously a zillion times. Except, now I have a picture taken by Debbie Reynolds!

&#185 – Billy Mumy later became Bill Mumy. At separate times, he and I both hosted Inside Space on the SciFi Channel.

How Tough Will Winter Be?

It’s that time of year. My email box overflows with people wanting to know what kind of winter this will be? Are they planning on leaving if my answer is too severe?

Lots of people make long range predictions – The Weather Service and Farmer’s Almanac to name two. I guess their forecast has value, but not to most ‘regular’ people.

We don’t live by the season. We live moment-to-moment. Trust me on this.

It could be unseasonably wonderful for two weeks, but if an Arctic blast comes, you’ll be feeling it and forgetting about that good weather in the rear view mirror.

So, as a rule I keep away from long term predictions. I’m thinking, maybe I’d be better concentrating on the next week, not the next two months.

Today, I got an email from someone asking about acorns. There doesn’t seem to be too many this year. Is that a sign?

Hey, if squirrels could accurately predict the weather, I’d be on the squirrel plan! I only stick with science because it works the best.

I wrote back saying acorns weren’t a predictor but actually a product of what has already happened. And then I realized, I don’t really know that. It sounds right – logical – but I really don’t know. So I scouted around.

We’re very lucky here in New Haven to have Yale University&#185. I checked their online directory and found the Director of the Forestry School. I was sure he’d know if acorns could predict the weather.

Yes you are completely right. the acorn crop is a reflection of past

weather. For the red oaks they take two years to develop – a poor

pollination period because of rain for a few days can mean acorn crop

failure two years down the road. Large acorn crops are therefore

unusual – once every ten years or so – and we think result when the

weather allows for it – “all the weather gods must be aligned”

Of course, it is part of the power of the Internet to be able to reach someone with so much knowledge, and then be able to pass it along. People might think I’m smart to know about acorns, but I’m just smart enough to ask questions.

Oh… there’s more to the story. I thought I was writing to him at Yale.

I am in Panama at present but if you need any further help give me a an

email buzz

We live in a wondrous time!

&#185 – I often wonder if the feeling is mutual, but that’s another story.

Distance Learning – The Disadvantage

Fall semester at Mississippi State starts next week. For me that means late nights watching my coursework on DVD and thumbing through overpriced textbooks (you have no idea – it’s robbery).

Even though I’ve never been to Starkville, I still get the same emails my fellow on-campus students get. Here’s today’s sample:

AUTHORIZED-BY: John Dickerson, Director of Enrollment Services

—————————————————————————–

Dear Students:

Join us as we celebrate Dawg Daze 2004. Dawg Daze is Mississippi State

University’s welcome week for new freshman and transfer students. Join

us daily from August 15-17, 2004, to enjoy the best food, music,

movies, and southern hospitality that Mississippi State has to offer!

August 15th is open to new freshman and transfer students during our

new student block party with Bill Cooke playing acoustic guitar.

The following events are open to all new and returning students.

August 16th features our Papa John’s Pizza and Movie Night co-sponsored

by Information Technology Services (Feature Presentation: TROY).

August 17th features our back to school concert featuring the Patrick

Smith Band and Drivin’ n’ Cryin’.

Last year, over 6,000 students attended during the three days of

events. Please help spread the word to MSU students so that this year

will be another great success. For more information and a listing of

other events, please see the Dawg Daze website at:

http://www.dawgdaze.msstate.edu/ For questions or more information,

please contact Bryan Nesbit at bgn3@msstate.edu

I suppose I could just invite all of them over to the house?

Manchurian Candidate

“Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.” That is the line, recited word-for-word by each man who served with Shaw, which piqued Frank Sinatra’s curiosity in the original Manchurian Candidate. The fact that they all said it, while still remembering Shaw was totally unlikeable, was only part of their subconscious conflict.

Today, my curiosity piqued, I went to see the new version (not a remake, as much of the detail of the story has been changed) with Helaine. It’s a great movie. That not withstanding, I’m sorry I brought Helaine along. It is violent, suspenseful, very intense and not what she wanted to see.

In the original movie, Raymond Shaw (Laurence Harvey) is captured along with members of his unit, fighting in Korea. It is the Chinese (hence the title) who brainwash them all, sending Raymond home to assassinate a presidential candidate, allowing his stepfather to run in his place.

Angela Lansbury, as Raymond’s mother, plays one of the most evil and believable villains I’ve ever seen on the screen. The sexual tension between mother and son makes the whole thing even more disturbing.

Having this much respect for the original I went today expecting to be disappointed. I was wrong. The movie scores on nearly every level.

Liev Schreiber as Shaw brings the same distant, cold, aloof feel as Laurence Harvey’s original portrayal. He was brought up with privilege and power and no connection to the common man. He is devoid of warmth or compassion.

Denzel Washington is Major Ben Marco, the Frank Sinatra role from the original movie. You’ve seen Denzel playing this part before; the honorable man in a troubling situation. It works here.

Meryl Streep is not Angela Lansbury. I guess it’s unfair to even make the comparison because Lansbury’s original portrayal was so amazing – something I’ve never seen her come close to replicating.

Still, the role is intense and evil. And, the scene where she and her son come perilously close to a passionate kiss is as unnerving as similar imagery from the original.

I’ve heard a lot of people (including my wife) say that Streep’s role was modeled on Hillary Clinton. I actually didn’t see that – though I wasn’t particularly watching for it.

The interesting twist here is the center of the evil, originally Communist China, is now replaced by a multinational company which looks very much like Halliburton. There is no doubt that director Jonathan Demme went out of his way to make a number of analogies to our current administration. We’re not at the Oliver Stone level here, but approaching it.

The end of the movie, the portion past the actual climax, confused me. But, by then, the movie had made its points. Without it, Denzel Washington’s character would be dead, and I don’t think the producers wanted that.

The bottom line is, I recommend this movie… but with a huge proviso. There were a number of intense, sometimes gory scenes that I looked away from. If that kind of movie troubles you, stay away.

Eartha Kitt and I Go Way Back

The AP story was short and to the point:

WESTPORT, Conn. — Eartha Kitt, the original Catwoman on the Batman television show, suffered minor injuries when the vehicle she was driving collided with another car and flipped over, police said.

Kitt, 77, was treated at Norwalk Hospital and released, hospital officials said.

The accident occurred Thursday morning, said Sgt. Jerry Shannon. Kitt’s all-terrain vehicle was crossing an intersection when it collided with a car, causing Kitt’s vehicle to roll over onto its roof, police said.

Her two toy poodles, who were in the actress-singer’s car, escaped injury.

The cause of the crash was under investigation.

I’m glad she’s out of the hospital. I’m surprised she lives here in Connecticut. To mention Eartha Kitt and not mention her one-of-a-kind voice and amazing jazz perfomances is tragic.

I first ran into Eartha Kitt in 1967 at CBS on West 57th Street in New York. Since I was in high school at the time, you might be wondering how I got there? It was not where most 16 year olds got to hang out.

In high school, I was a radio actor. My junior and senior year, instead of taking English in the conventional way, I was a member of the New York All City Radio Workshop. The workshop members, drawn from high schools across the city, were cast in radio plays which ran on WNYE-FM, the Board of Education’s station.

Even in the late 60s this was an anachronism. Drama on radio had been dead for a decade or more. On the other hand FM radio was a underdeveloped technology that few people listened to. We were the worst of both worlds!

At the same time, somehow, the Board of Education ‘sponsored’ a weekly public affairs program, “Dial M for Music,” which ran on WCBS – TV. Why the Board of Education would care about this was, and still is, beyond me. It seemed then, as it does now, like a weasel deal for Channel 2 to get some sort of FCC Brownie points.

“Dial M” brought jazz acts into the Broadcast Center and then taped their performances in front of high school kids. That’s where I came in. Instead of rounding up random kids and then letting them roam free through the CBS studio complex (which is what we did, as the show taped 2-3 episodes on a Saturday afternoon), they called on members of the All City Workshop. I guess the idea was, we already knew a little about broadcasting and would be less troublesome.

I got to see some jazz legends – people like Lionel Hampton, Mongo Santamaria and Hazel Scott. And, I got to spend 6-7 Saturdays a year at CBS, poking around the studios and signing for food in the cafeteria. I remember visiting “The Treasure House” set from Captain Kangaroo, some soap opera studios, and an elaborate set-up for a Barbra Streisand special. The center core of the Broadcast Center was a circular ramp, loaded with props and sets.

One Saturday we came in to see Eartha Kitt. I knew the name and recognized the voice, but wasn’t a fan. Her core audience was around my parent’s age.

Before the show started, the director (as I remember a laid back man with a Southern accent) came and gave us the drill. Don’t look at the cameras. Applaud with your hands cupped to sound a little louder. Pay attention to the artists.

So as Eartha Kitt started to sing, I watched with rapt attention. The studio was small and there weren’t more than 15 or 16 of us in the audience, sitting on low stools.

Eartha looked at me. She looked at me deeply.

The more she sang, the more intently she looked into my eyes. I was 16 – and a young 16 at that – what did I know? But she was mentally undressing me! Though it may have been enjoyable for her, it was unnerving to me.

I remember her performance was great. I also remember being as uncomfortable as is humanly possible. I should have been flattered, but it totally weirded me out.

If she’s 77 now, she was about 40 then and overtly sexy. She was a catwoman before she played Catwoman on TV. I’d like to think I helped her performance.

She probably forgot about me as she left the studio. I’ll never forget her.

Seven Thousand Three Hundred Five Days

Seven thousand three hundred five days ago, Connecticut still had toll booths on I-95 and the Merritt Parkway. There was no state income tax. Our governor, William O’Neill, was a tavern owner.

Back then, WTNH was a middle aged television station, owned by Capitol Cities Communications – before it bought ABC. It was second place in what was, for all intents and purposes, a 2 station market. A station with an identity crisis, not knowing whether to be Connecticut’s station or just concentrate on New Haven. It was making money hand-over-fist, which tended to minimize their concern.

On May 21, 1984, One thousand forty three weeks and four days ago, I walked into Channel 8 as an employee. If you would have told me twenty years ago that I’d still be there today, I’d have called you a fool. In my 11 years in radio, I had worked all over the country. No job had ever run more than 3 or 4 years – and most were much shorter.

Al Terzi (WFSB), Gerri Harris (who knows) and Diane Smith (WTIC radio, CPTV), were our main anchors. Bob Picozzi (ESPN radio, UConn Women’s basketball play-byplay) was our sports director. Our news director, the guy who hired me, was Mike Sechrist (General Manager WKRN – Nashville). His assistant, Wendie Feinberg (Executive Producer Nightly Business Report – PBS). In the control room, Tom O’Brien (General Manager KXAS – Dallas) and Jeff Winn (Fox Sports “Best Damned Sports…”).

Of all the on-air and management personnel at the station that day, only I am left. I have survived 4 different owners, 4 general managers, 10 news directors and countless dozens of assistants, producers, reporters and anchors.

Still, I often ask myself, where have I gone wrong?

That’s not to say my professional life hasn’t been good. In fact, it’s been great. This is a very rewarding job and the people who watch have been generous in their support, while my bosses have been… well, they’ve been generous too. I just wonder, what if?

Have I missed the bright lights of the big city? Would I have been able to compete at that level?

Today, if I were looking for work elsewhere, would I be taken seriously? A few years longevity is a good thing, but twenty years in New Haven makes it seem like I’ve been unable to escape.

Since I have been at WTNH, only four of the on-air people hired were older than I was at the time – and three of those came within my first year. This is a business of the young… and I say that even though this station isn’t anywhere near as youth obsessed as some others.

I remember early in my radio career, seeing people who’d been in one place too long, who were now just going through the motions. I promised myself that would never be me. I’ve kept my word.

It is still important to me, after all this time, to know whether I’ve entertained or not. There are no gimmes. A bad Friday night 11:00 weathercast can ruin my weekend… ask my wife.

Even tonight, I brought home a snippet of tape because a few seconds of well timed on-air chatter with the floor director seemed memorable. Every show counts. I am never unhappy to go to work. I have never taken, or needed, a ‘mental health’ day.

I still have my fantasy jobs – things I’d like to do and sometimes even dream about. I’d like to do a game show. I’d like to do a sit down fun chat show. I’d like to fill-in again on Good Morning America. Who knows?

I worry about losing a little off the fastball – about someone up-and-coming who might want my job. I worry about a new owner or manager who might not care that I’ve put twenty years in. After all, in the 21st century, company loyalty is something employees have toward companies… not the other way around.

About 15 years ago, my agent said there would come a time when I’d want to shave ten years off my age. I think I could actually pass with that lie. Until recently, I’d regularly get viewer mail telling me to stop coloring my hair… even though it’s never been colored. But, I won’t lie about my age because I’m proud to have the experience and knowledge that only comes with being 53.

I am not sorry that I’ve made it to 20 years. I am not disappointed in what I’ve accomplished. I have a wonderful life. I only wonder where the other paths led.

My Day of Kayaking

As anticipated, 8:30 AM came very quickly. Hey, to me that’s the middle of the night. A little procrastination with the bedroom TV, and then I was in the shower getting ready. I was actually running on time!

The plan was to meet at my friend Kevin’s house, in Cheshire at 10:00 AM. Kevin had invited me, his boss Scott and his daughter, plus a friend, Jeff.

It was beautiful. A little on the humid side, but with a pure blue sky. I had the top down and the radio up. As I turned from N. Brooksvale to Mountain Rd, a bicyclist came the other way. He was dressed in a loud, skin tight biking suit. But, he had the best advice of the day, “Cops ahead.”

The speed limit on Mountain is 25 mph – an unattainable goal, even if you know there are police lurking. I did about 30. As I passed the patrol car, the policeman turned his head and looked at me. No one does 30 without being tipped off! I’m sure he knew.

Kevin has a small trailer. He lashed the kayaks to it, and we were off. We went up I-84 to Waterbury and then north on Route 8 into the Southern Litchfield Hills. It didn’t take long to get to the White Memorial Foundation – hundreds of acres of nature preserve.

If the White Memorial Foundation sounds familiar, it should. It’s where Connecticut’s Governor Rowland has a small cottage, which had a hot tub, which is all swirled within the specter of corruption charges.

Scott checked the water temperature as we brought the boats down to the Bantam River. His thermometer read 70&#176, though we would later all agree it was probably in the 60’s farther from shore.

If I had been in a kayak before, it was a long time ago. I rocked a little from side to side as I set out. Last night, at the station, our director Tracey had admonished me to push, not pull when paddling. Otherwise, she said, I’d get very sore.

Easier said than done, but I tried.

The Bantam River is small and gently flowing in this part of Litchfield County. We headed to the right, against the minuscule current. A light breeze was at our back.

You actually wouldn’t know there was a current on this river except for the beaver dams. I had heard and read about beaver dams for years, but had never really experienced them. From bank to bank, a pile of twigs, branches and mud choked the flow. We found weak spots and paddled over… though I got caught a little more than once.

The kayak handled really easily and it didn’t take me long to get into the rhythm. Inertia is an important part of kayaking. When you stop paddling, the kayak continues… in my case it often kept going until it hit another kayak!

The White Memorial Foundation land is a protected habitat for all sorts of wildlife. We saw birds, including a few hawks and beautiful red winged blackbirds. A duck, probably protecting a nearby nest, let me get pretty close without flinching. I turned back, not wanting to upset him. There were turtles too, including one who seemed to be stretching out as if he were sunning himself on a Caribbean vacation.

After a mile or so (Kevin had a GPS receiver capable of plotting our course) we came to some beaver dams too high to paddle over. So, we just turned around and went back down river.

The river wasn’t crowded, but it wasn’t empty either. A while later we ran into an older husband and wife, and their dog Coco. The dog was sitting comfortably in a wicker basket lashed to the front of one of their kayaks. Coco started kayaking at 3 months and wouldn’t even think of staying on shore now.

My five hours of sleep and the gentle rocking of the kayak was starting to catch up with me. I asked if it would be OK for us to end it here – and we did.

I hadn’t flipped the kayak. I hadn’t really gotten sick. I hadn’t put anyone else in mortal danger by doing something stupid. The trip was a success.

I’m hoping to go with Kevin again. Next time, with a little Dramamine, I’d like to try the Thimble Islands, off the Branford coast, in Long Island Sound.

Glad I Said Yes

A few weeks ago, I was asked to emcee an event at the Garde Arts Center in New London. It was the Asbury Shorts of New York, a traveling festival of short films – many former award winners.

I hate doing things on weekends – especially when I know I’ll be going with Helaine or Steffie. That would be the case tonight. As it turns out, the shame was that I didn’t bring them! The show was excellent.

First, a bit about the Garde. Many cities and towns have venues like this. It’s an older theater – in this case a former vaudeville theater built in 1926. It has been lovingly restored to its former beauty and is now run as a non-profit; featuring plays, performance and what are commonly known as cultural events (though those two words will never help them sell a ticket).

The theater’s walls, whitewashed over the years, have been restored to their original beauty. The stage and screen are large, and there’s a good sized balcony.

Asbury’s stock in trade are short films. They’re the kind of thing you hear about at the Oscar’s, when an award is given out, but never hear of again. Unlike a ‘real’ film festival, these shorts have been chosen over time. They represent a mix much less eclectic and more mainstream than what you’d see at a ‘standalone’ festival featuring all new work.

My guess is the films reflect the taste of Doug Le Claire, the director. They are often funny, always quirky, with loads of surprise endings and plot twists.

Though short, the films are well shot with excellent production values. The scripts were good. In many ways a movie benefits from not being two hours long!

I think the audience enjoyed the show. I certainly did.

The UCONN Parade

It hasn’t always been this way. College basketball hasn’t always been an obsession in Connecticut. When I arrived in 1984 UCONN was an also ran, even in regional action.

That all changed as the university hired Jim Calhoun for the men, and then later Geno Auriemma to coach the women. And, UCONN made a commitment to big time athletics.

I’m not sure, as a taxpayer and father of a soon to be college aged student, whether that would be my first priority… but I haven’t been asked. As it turns out UCONN is now a national powerhouse (even football has started to come around with a 9-2 season this past year) and I’m glad to be a fan.

In March, at the NCAA tournaments, UCONN won both the men’s and women’s national championships. This is an unheard of feat. It took a lot of luck and even more skill.

With that in mind, the City of Hartford decided to throw a parade to celebrate the victory. My TV station then made a commitment to provide live coverage (as did the CBS and NBC stations). It is something we’ve done before when one team or the other won.

My memories of parade coverage are mostly made up of awful weather and equipment failures. Somehow, by chance, unseasonably awful days are always picked. Bob Picozzi reminded me yesterday how one parade was held in some late season snow. I just remember number fingers and toes and trying to hide in the state capitol as long as was humanly possible before darting out to my position on the street.

Equipment problems are another story. A television program is mounted using hundreds of separate pieces of equipment. They could be as small as microphone connectors or as large as an entire satellite truck. In the field, many of these disparate pieces become choke points. If it breaks, nothing passes farther downstream.

In our last parade attempt everything that could fail, did. That was followed by unforeseen failures that had to do with ‘how’ we were doing things, as opposed to ‘what’ we used to do them.

For example, “live” TV never really is anymore. The delay can be a few frames (there are 29.97 frames per second in TV) up to a few seconds. This is not a censorship plot, but the outcome of using digital equipment. As signals pass through and are manipulated digitally, there is a small lag while the math is being done.

In the studio, that’s not a problem – we have it figured out. In the field, that means getting audio to reporters’ earpieces from multiple locations is a nightmare. Is there a delay? How much? And, can you send the reporter every bit of audio EXCEPT his very own voice (which would be delayed and confuse him, much as the echo at a baseball stadium can confuse the people singing the National Anthem).

As you can see, I didn’t drive to Hartford with fond anticipation.

Then, add to that my insecurity over the weather forecast. All week it had called for warm temperatures on Sunday. By Friday it had also become likely that there would be enough instability to produce a scattered shower or two across the state (and, as it turns out, there was a Severe Thunderstorm watch for Litchfield County – just northwest of Hartford). Most places would stay dry, but with Hartford’s parade track record, I couldn’t rule out a shower.

Everything worked out perfectly.

I got to the Legislative Office Building parking garage at 10:50 AM and immediately found a ground floor space, near the exit. I walked then labyrinth of ramps and corridors from the LOB to the Capitol. I walked outside, in the sunshine, and found our main satellite truck. There was no panic. There were no angry words. With hours to go, all the wiring and testing had been done, and it all worked. I had a bottle of water and ate the meat and cheese from a sandwich (it’s the diet).

Our coverage started at 1:30 PM. Just before 1:00, I headed out to our position, behind the Capitol building, near where the floats, bands and teams would start their journey and separated from their happy fans by orange plastic fencing (which would later come down to allow the crowds the opportunity to fill the area in from of the podium built for the ceremony).

Our 1:00 PM run through, where everyone got to see if they could communicate with everyone else, also worked well. I was working with Joe Sferrazza, a photographer who had started at Channel 8 a few months after me. Michelle Clarke from our assignment desk and Brian Albon, usually a director, were field producers.

We began our coverage. Eric Dobratz, producing the show, let me know he wanted me to use our mobility to find people to speak to. No problem. There was a truck a few hundred feet away, not yet moving, with Senators Lieberman and Dodd. I pointed to Joe and walked to the truck. There was a loading gate on the back, so I jumped up and then stood on the rear of the truck.

The senators moved to the back, and in a few seconds we were on the air, live. And then, the truck started to move! I had a wireless microphone and wireless earpiece, so it wasn’t a huge problem. Senator Dodd, sensing my lack of athleticism, threw his arm around my shoulder to help brace me… and the interview continued.

I am told that on TV, the interview looked great. It was live and spontaneous and obvious to all that I was perched on a moving truck. It was also obvious that that was more than I had bargained for. That made the shot even better.

It was at that moment where I set the tone for Joe, Michelle and Brian as to what we’d be doing. They bought in 100%. We would not be boring nor pedestrian.

From there we interviewed Miss Connecticut while I stood on the running board of her car… while in motion, riding the rear of the car carrying Meghan Pattyson and Bob Picozzi from CPTV, and on top a huge flatbed truck talking to a steel drum player – while he and his steel band played… and the truck rolled.

After the parade had passed and the fans streamed up the lawn, I concentrated on speaking with people. By this time, I was spent. All my energy was gone. The effects of a few hours of sleep were catching up with me.

The team, coaches and a few pols spoke from a stage attached to the Capitol’s steps. Thankfully, they were brief.

This parade’s coverage turned out totally different than the last time. It was as if we were two different stations. I like this outcome better. And, I was very glad to eat a little and get into bed.

Adventures in Spam

I swear by Popfile to rid my inbox of spam – but it’s failing me now as spammers are getting more crafty. Within the past few weeks, messages that look very ‘spammy’ to the naked eye have been buzzing through Popfile. It was easy to figure out how.

Popfile compiles a ‘corpus’, a list of words that normally do or don’t appear in my emails. Spammy words are likely to get an otherwise nice mail kicked out.

These new emails take a paragraph or two of text (it looks like AP wire copy or something similar) and inserts it in the message. The text is so long, it overwhelms the spam content.

The really sneaky part is how this long text is displayed. Unlike the ad copy, these innocuous words are displayed in the smallest possible size. It is so small that the letters aren’t even formed. It’s just a blur of small smudges. I had to copy it into a text editor to see what was really going on.

It’s my guess that Popfile will be strengthened to fight this new scourge. And the spammers will come up with something else. It seems to be a never ending saga.

Here’s the part that I totally don’t understand. Hasn’t everyone who wants Cialis or Viagra, and is willing to blindly buy on the net, already gotten it? I’ve gotten thousands upon thousands of solicitations for this kind of drug. I understand why someone wouldn’t want to go to their doctor or pharmacist to explore this problem, but the numbers can’t be this great.

Then there’s the question who is going to ingest a substance that comes from a website which has to spell Viagra, V1@GR@ and falsifies its return address?

The products sold using spam have changed greatly over time. Bootleg software and prescription drugs seem to be the hot items at the moment. Many things I might have seen advertised a year or two ago are gone.

The quantity has also changed. Since January 6, 2004, 61% of my email has been spam (and that doesn’t count the untold thousands of messages I filter out before they get to my mailbox)

It all boggles the mind.

Blogger’s addendum – This morning, another similar spam came in. Here’s what it looks like:

A new head start for elite women, a new course and an Olympic year couldn’t stop Meb Keflezighi from making it the same old story at the Gate River Run.Keflezighi, of Mammoth, Calif., became the first man to win four consecutive River Run titles, catching Colleen De Reuck on the Hart Bridge and outrunning Abdi Abdirahman to the finish to win by 2 seconds on Saturday.”It was a fast pace from the early going and Abdi gave me a run for the money,” said Keflezighi, 28, who finished in 43 minutes, 10 seconds, to win $15,000, including a $5,000 bonus for being the top finisher.De Reuck, of Boulder, Colo., led most of the race after being one of 25 elite women to get a head start of 5 minutes, 16 seconds, longer than the 5-minute planned advantage because of technical problems. The head start was instituted for the first time to add drama to the race. De Reuck, 39, said she knew her split times were not fast enough to hold off the men.”At least for the first 7 miles, I was just trying to secure the [women’s] lead,” said De Reuck, who finished first among the women in 49:02 and took home $10,000. “When I heard [from spectators] they [the top men] were there, I knew they were going to fly down the bridge.”But the men’s leaders really made up most of the time on the bridge incline, cutting a 40-second deficit in half.Race officials said the finish was one of the closest in the 27 years of the River Run, but did not have records available to confirm where it ranked.A clock problem caused the extra advantage for the elite women, but USA Track and Field men’s championship liaison Mark Zenobia said the problem would have been more damaging if De Reuck had finished first overall and by less than 16 seconds.Race officials said they had to be certain the start was done properly because the race is the U.S. 15K championship. The event had 7,601 finishers, a River Run record.Abdirahman, who finished second last year by 28 seconds, said he ran a strong race but was not happy with second.”I thought I might outkick him, but … he had a little more surge at the end,” said Abdirahman of Tucson, Ariz. “I wish I had another 50 meters.”Catching the women was not important. I knew I would catch them, but I didn’t get the bonus, so it didn’t matter.”But Keflezighi, a late commitment to the race because he was recovering after qualifying for the Olympics in the marathon last month, said he didn’t think he would have caught De Reuck without the 25-year-old Abdirahman pushing the pace.Keflezighi beat the record of Todd Williams, who won three consecutive titles from 1994-96.Race director Doug Alred said the extra 16 seconds made the race more exciting and he might adjust the equalizer bonus based on the field next year.De Reuck pulled away from Sylvia Mosqueda by 25 seconds in the fourth mile and won by 1:06 over the fellow marathon trials qualifier.”I felt OK for the first mile and a half,” said Mosqueda, a Los Angeles resident. “But right around 3 miles, my legs were like lead. I didn’t feel like I was racing; I felt like I was running.”Tatyana Pozdnyakova, a Gainesville resident who won the Los Angeles Marathon on March 7, finished third among women (50:15) and first among Masters women — ages 40 and older. Pozdnyakova, 49, won the $50,000 challenge bonus in Los Angeles where women received a 20:30 head start in the 26.2-mile race. Dennis Simonaitis, 41, of Draper, Utah, was the top men’s finisher in the Masters division. He finished in 48:31.Kim Pawelek, who finished 10th among women (52:54) and is also going to the marathon trials April 3 in St. Louis, was the top women’s finisher from Jacksonville. Zepherinus Joseph was the top Jacksonville runner (23rd, 48:34) and is awaiting word on whether he will be representing St. Lucia in the Olympic Games at Athens.One of the worst runs of his career probably helped Dale Earnhardt Jr. save his season.A week after he nearly was parked for running too slow, Junior zoomed by Jeremy Mayfield with 15 laps to go and sprinted to an easy victory Sunday in the Golden Corral 500 at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

He also won the season-opening Daytona 500.”Last week was as bad as it ever gets,” Earnhardt said. “But we didn’t get on each other too bad, and we stayed pretty focused.”Rookie Kasey Kahne was third — his third straight finish in the top three — and Jimmie Johnson and Ryan Newman followed him across the finish line.Defending series champ Matt Kenseth, who had won the past two races, rallied from a lap down to finish sixth.At Las Vegas last Sunday, Earnhardt started 26th and quickly drifted to the rear of the field at the start. His Chevrolet was so far off the pace that NASCAR warned his crew he was right at the minimum speed.After eventually finishing 35th, Earnhardt and the team spent Thursday testing at Kentucky Speedway. Just as their session was ending, they hit on a setup that worked, and Earnhardt was fast all weekend at Atlanta.”We went testing, and we’re going testing this week,” Earnhardt said. “We’re going to test, test, test, until we lap the field.”I’m determined and devoted to running like this every week, no matter what it costs.”He qualified seventh and stayed near the front, then dominated the latter stages. He passed Mayfield’s Dodge for the lead with 60 laps to go and held the top spot until the leaders made their final pit stops under green.Mayfield came in with 26 to go and his crew changed four tires in 14.3 seconds, then Earnhardt followed three laps later. His stop was nearly a second faster, but he came back on the track in third, behind Mayfield and Johnson.With 20 laps left, Earnhardt drove by Johnson on the inside and set his sights on Mayfield. He didn’t take long.Junior ran up high in Turns 1 and 2 to get momentum, then swooped underneath Mayfield down the backstretch, moving into the lead with hardly a struggle.”We had a great car to start with, but it just seemed as the race went on, the tighter we got,” Mayfield said of his car’s handling. “Dale Jr. and those guys got ahead of the track and we didn’t.”Kenseth started 30th and was up to 13th after 15 laps, and eventually got to sixth before the first pit stops. But he made a rare mistake, spinning his Ford as he came into the pits, and dropped a lap down after a drive-through penalty.He made up the ground during the second caution for oil on the track, because he was the first lapped car behind the leader, and got his fourth straight top-10 finish to start the season.Kenseth leads Tony Stewart by 82 points, with Earnhardt another eight points back.

And, here’s what those little lines say:

A new head start for elite women, a new course and an Olympic year couldn’t stop Meb Keflezighi from making it the same old story at the Gate River Run.Keflezighi, of Mammoth, Calif., became the first man to win four consecutive River Run titles, catching Colleen De Reuck on the Hart Bridge and outrunning Abdi Abdirahman to the finish to win by 2 seconds on Saturday.”It was a fast pace from the early going and Abdi gave me a run for the money,” said Keflezighi, 28, who finished in 43 minutes, 10 seconds, to win $15,000, including a $5,000 bonus for being the top finisher.De Reuck, of Boulder, Colo., led most of the race after being one of 25 elite women to get a head start of 5 minutes, 16 seconds, longer than the 5-minute planned advantage because of technical problems. The head start was instituted for the first time to add drama to the race. De Reuck, 39, said she knew her split times were not fast enough to hold off the men.”At least for the first 7 miles, I was just trying to secure the [women’s] lead,” said De Reuck, who finished first among the women in 49:02 and took home $10,000. “When I heard [from spectators] they [the top men] were there, I knew they were going to fly down the bridge.”But the men’s leaders really made up most of the time on the bridge incline, cutting a 40-second deficit in half.Race officials said the finish was one of the closest in the 27 years of the River Run, but did not have records available to confirm where it ranked.A clock problem caused the extra advantage for the elite women, but USA Track and Field men’s championship liaison Mark Zenobia said the problem would have been more damaging if De Reuck had finished first overall and by less than 16 seconds.Race officials said they had to be certain the start was done properly because the race is the U.S. 15K championship. The event had 7,601 finishers, a River Run record.Abdirahman, who finished second last year by 28 seconds, said he ran a strong race but was not happy with second.”I thought I might outkick him, but … he had a little more surge at the end,” said Abdirahman of Tucson, Ariz. “I wish I had another 50 meters.”Catching the women was not important. I knew I would catch them, but I didn’t get the bonus, so it didn’t matter.”But Keflezighi, a late commitment to the race because he was recovering after qualifying for the Olympics in the marathon last month, said he didn’t think he would have caught De Reuck without the 25-year-old Abdirahman pushing the pace.Keflezighi beat the record of Todd Williams, who won three consecutive titles from 1994-96.Race director Doug Alred said the extra 16 seconds made the race more exciting and he might adjust the equalizer bonus based on the field next year.De Reuck pulled away from Sylvia Mosqueda by 25 seconds in the fourth mile and won by 1:06 over the fellow marathon trials qualifier.”I felt OK for the first mile and a half,” said Mosqueda, a Los Angeles resident. “But right around 3 miles, my legs were like lead. I didn’t feel like I was racing; I felt like I was running.”Tatyana Pozdnyakova, a Gainesville resident who won the Los Angeles Marathon on March 7, finished third among women (50:15) and first among Masters women — ages 40 and older. Pozdnyakova, 49, won the $50,000 challenge bonus in Los Angeles where women received a 20:30 head start in the 26.2-mile race. Dennis Simonaitis, 41, of Draper, Utah, was the top men’s finisher in the Masters division. He finished in 48:31.Kim Pawelek, who finished 10th among women (52:54) and is also going to the marathon trials April 3 in St. Louis, was the top women’s finisher from Jacksonville. Zepherinus Joseph was the top Jacksonville runner (23rd, 48:34) and is awaiting word on whether he will be representing St. Lucia in the Olympic Games at Athens.One of the worst runs of his career probably helped Dale Earnhardt Jr. save his season.A week after he nearly was parked for running too slow, Junior zoomed by Jeremy Mayfield with 15 laps to go and sprinted to an easy victory Sunday in the Golden Corral 500 at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

He also won the season-opening Daytona 500.”Last week was as bad as it ever gets,” Earnhardt said. “But we didn’t get on each other too bad, and we stayed pretty focused.”Rookie Kasey Kahne was third — his third straight finish in the top three — and Jimmie Johnson and Ryan Newman followed him across the finish line.Defending series champ Matt Kenseth, who had won the past two races, rallied from a lap down to finish sixth.At Las Vegas last Sunday, Earnhardt started 26th and quickly drifted to the rear of the field at the start. His Chevrolet was so far off the pace that NASCAR warned his crew he was right at the minimum speed.After eventually finishing 35th, Earnhardt and the team spent Thursday testing at Kentucky Speedway. Just as their session was ending, they hit on a setup that worked, and Earnhardt was fast all weekend at Atlanta.”We went testing, and we’re going testing this week,” Earnhardt said. “We’re going to test, test, test, until we lap the field.”I’m determined and devoted to running like this every week, no matter what it costs.”He qualified seventh and stayed near the front, then dominated the latter stages. He passed Mayfield’s Dodge for the lead with 60 laps to go and held the top spot until the leaders made their final pit stops under green.Mayfield came in with 26 to go and his crew changed four tires in 14.3 seconds, then Earnhardt followed three laps later. His stop was nearly a second faster, but he came back on the track in third, behind Mayfield and Johnson.With 20 laps left, Earnhardt drove by Johnson on the inside and set his sights on Mayfield. He didn’t take long.Junior ran up high in Turns 1 and 2 to get momentum, then swooped underneath Mayfield down the backstretch, moving into the lead with hardly a struggle.”We had a great car to start with, but it just seemed as the race went on, the tighter we got,” Mayfield said of his car’s handling. “Dale Jr. and those guys got ahead of the track and we didn’t.”Kenseth started 30th and was up to 13th after 15 laps, and eventually got to sixth before the first pit stops. But he made a rare mistake, spinning his Ford as he came into the pits, and dropped a lap down after a drive-through penalty.He made up the ground during the second caution for oil on the track, because he was the first lapped car behind the leader, and got his fourth straight top-10 finish to start the season.Kenseth leads Tony Stewart by 82 points, with Earnhardt another eight points back.

The Meat of Meteorology

If you read this blog regularly, you probably already know I forecast the weather on TV. That’s my job and I’ve been doing it for over 20 years (and about 35 years broadcasting in general).

I am not a meteorologist. There are three others on our meteorology staff at work, and we all do the same thing. I do what a meteorologist does. Forecasting is a skill I’ve studied over the last 20 years and, hopefully, mastered.

A year and a half ago, the general manager of our station asked if I would formalize my education, become a meteorologist and get the AMS Seal (AMS is The American Meteorological Society). The AMS Seal is pretty much the ‘gold standard’ for broadcast weather forecasters. I said yes and enrolled at Mississippi State University in their distance learning program. When I’m finished, I will have a certificate in meteorology, not a bachelors degree.

Now, with my Summer ’05 completion looming, I see the AMS is changing the rules for broadcast meteorology again. I say again because 20 years ago there was no formal education component of the seal at all.

This time, they will eliminate the seal program and replace it with Certified Broadcast Meteorologist or CBM. In order to receive the CBM, you will need to have a BS in meteorology, not just the core 50+ credits that Mississippi State provides. The seal program will continue until 2008, meaning I will be able to qualify and receive one, though not the CBM.

Why would the AMS care if you have other credits and a degree beyond the core courses? My guess is, the more traditional universities have seen the MSU program and realize the only way they can compete with it, or have their graduates compete with it, is to change the rules and (possibly) eliminate it.

I have just had an email conversation with the director of the MSU program. I don’t think he realized how this rule change would affect what they’re doing. I think he does now.

The question is, what is the reason for having the AMS Seal in the first place? If it’s to help viewers shop for a scientifically based presentation, with this move the AMS has gone too far. Even the current qualifications provide more than enough screening.

If its purpose is to promote the fortunes of the traditional schools of meteorology, and their students, this change will achieve the goal.