TV Is Making Me Fatter

You’ve probably heard how TV cameras add 10-15 pounds to your weight. Over the years, I’ve learned to live with it, though I’ve kidded that the weight actually stays on once you leave the set.

Now, there’s a new way for TV to bulk you up. Have you seen the new plasma, flat screen televisions? You’ve probably noticed they are widescreen – longer from side to side than a standard TV.

Technically, current TV stations transmit in a 4:3 aspect ratio. That means for every 4″ across, the set will be 3″ high. The new TVs, which will be fine for new high definition transmissions and DVD movies, have a 16:9 ratio. So, 16″ across now mean 9″ high instead of 12″.

The problem for me is how they fill those new screens. The correct way would be to maintain the ratio as transmitted. But, no one’s going to buy a new TV only to have part of the screen unused. Instead, these new TV’s s-t-r-e-t-c-h the picture horizontally. If you’re already a wide load, these sets make you wider and dumpier. Your face becomes chubbier. It is implied you’re shorter.

I’m thinking it’s diet time… again.