Six Of Us Together For Lunch

We didn’t say anything profound. We didn’t discuss anything weighty. We ate and enjoyed each others company. I wouldn’t have traded that for the world!

My family is small. Helaine and I have one daughter. My sister has two daughters and a son. Staying close is important. I was poor at doing just that for a good part of my adult life.

That’s why today was so important.

My nephew and one of my nieces were on their way to New York City with their respective boyfriend and girlfriend. Helaine and I made a date to meet them for lunch.

I love Manhattan. Though inconveniently a bus and subway away it was my playground as a kid. It’s still exhilarating to be there.

Getting to the city is even more of a hassle today. We are at the very end of Metro North’s New Haven line–72 miles on the local! It was worth every inch.

We arranged to meet Matt and Melissa at the Stage Deli on 7th Avenue just north of Times Square. The Stage is known for oversized sandwiches, matzoh ball soup and the fact show business legends used to come there&#185. If you eat lunch at The Stage there’s no need for dinner!

Helaine and I got there around 1:00 PM followed by Melissa and her boyfriend Mark. Matt and his girlfriend Becky showed up ten minutes later.

Maybe this is commonplace in your family. With ours spread coast-to-coast (and even Matt and Melissa living in Illinois and Wisconsin respectively) it’s a big deal.

We didn’t say anything profound. We didn’t discuss anything weighty. We ate and enjoyed each others company.

I wouldn’t have traded that for the world!

Our trip to The City was brief. We had lunch, hopped in a taxi and were on the 3:07 train back to New Haven.

This day started as my nephew Matt’s idea. Smart kid.

&#185 – I’ve been coming for years and have never seen anyone famous. My Uncle Dave, a waiter there in the 50s and 60s used to talk about the celebs who came in and how they tipped. This is why I’m a good tipper.

About My Mom

In the back of my mind I understand she is likely to return to where she was a few weeks ago. Still this recent change has been nothing short of miraculous and totally unexpected.

Early in October I wrote about my mom. She has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Changes in her were noticeable and troubling. Over the last two weeks things have changed again… rapidly… for the good. None of us quite know what to make of this.

The long term plan has been for our little family to get together for Thanksgiving. My sister’s oldest daughter has just given birth to my parent’s second great grandchild. It’s a joyous time. How often could all of us (including Stefanie) be in one place?

The worry was how my mother would travel? We all assumed she and my dad would not be able to attend.

They flew in this past weekend. The trip went well. They’re at my sister’s home.

That’s not the startling part.

When I wrote in October my mother was speaking in monosyllables. She was answering questions with single word answers. She was not engaging with those around her. She would not maintain a conversation.

All of that has changed!

I first noticed it a few weeks ago. My sister noticed it too.

Yesterday my mom joined a phone conversation and kept up her end admirably. I am ecstatic beyond belief.

We are not naive. No one expects my mom will return to the woman she was ten or fifteen years ago. In the back of my mind I understand she is likely to return to where she was a few weeks ago. Still this recent change has been nothing short of miraculous and totally unexpected.

You have no idea how excited we are to join the family for Thanksgiving.

On The Phone With The Child

Non-parents might marvel at conversations with this young woman… someone I’ve often wanted to kill and justifiably so. The feeling is surely mutual.

I just got off the phone with Stef. Actually, I just got off for the second time. She forgot something the first. The phone read 26 minutes when we said goodbye.

I benefit more than anyone from Stef’s move three time zones west. All of a sudden there’s someone else awake when I am! She was good company after a difficult day.

Non-parents might marvel at conversations with this young woman… someone I’ve often wanted to kill and justifiably so. The feeling is surely mutual.

Parents totally understand.

That is the parent-child relationship. There is no interpersonal relationship so complex.

She’s a grown-up. She’s our child. She wants independence. She needs assistance. Life throws us these mutually exclusive paradoxes which parent and child then traverse as a soldier traverses a minefield!

We’re good now. There’s never a guarantee we’ll finish the week like that. Hell, we could go south as early as tomorrow!

When your child lets you in her life and confides in you it’s a good thing.