Stupid Bad Restaurant Tricks

If you want to figure out the formula of a formulaic show just watch three or four of them without interruption.

I have been sitting on the sofa this evening watching TV with Helaine. Mostly it’s been Food Network’s Restaurant Impossible with Robert Irvine. They’re showing back-to-back-to-back episodes.

If you want to figure out the formula of a formulaic show just watch three or four of them without interruption. I’m not suggesting you do this, just if you do
you’ll find the secret sauce!

  1. Robert finds really bad restaurant
  2. Robert tries the food
  3. Robert dislikes the food
  4. Robert finds all the other things wrong with the restaurant (note to ‘before’ customers, you’re not going to be happy seeing what you were eating)
  5. Robert browbeats owner
  6. Makeover
  7. Restaurant lives happily ever after
  8. Here’s my question. How is this different from Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares on Fox? Isn’t this the same show with a different host, both with British accents.

    The show is entertaining, but if I were a restaurateur I’d think twice about subjecting myself to this. Irvine’s criticism is brutal. Of course watching these owners get dressed down is why people tune in.

    The problem with reality shows is they setup a problem to be solved and always solve it. Always!

    Think about it: cliffhanger right before a commercial break. Do you really think they’re throwing in the towel twenty five minutes into an hour show?

    A little free advice. If you ate at any of these restaurants before Robert Irvine got there don’t watch. Really. No, seriously, you don’t want to watch!

    Bon appetite.

Dinner For Breakfast

After a night in the ‘fridge and a trip through the microwave the meal was transformed. Yesterday’s taste has been amplified without losing any of its tactile appeal.

What is it about leftovers that makes them so good? Today’s breakfast was yesterday’s dinner and it was magical. Why has no one opened a leftover restaurant chain yet? Can I legally protect that idea–Foxes House of Leftovers?

She will deny it, but Helaine is an amazing cook and baker. That was pretty obvious not long after we met.

If I were cooking, as soon as I’d find something good that would be my meal forever. Helaine gets bored. She wants variety in the kitchen. She doesn’t want to make the same thing all-the-time.

Last night was a reasonably new recipe based on an old recipe from Giada DeLaurentiis: Orzo cooked in chicken stock, roasted peppers, turkey sausage, tomatoes, garlic and other goodies I can’t remember.

Have you ever taken the first bite of something and fallen in love? It wasn’t just the taste, but the combination of textures that worked so well. This meal ‘felt’ delicious!

Wow! It’s like I’m judging some Food Network reality show. Where’s Bob Tuschman?

Back to today. After a night in the ‘fridge and a trip through the microwave the meal was transformed. Yesterday’s taste has been amplified without losing any of its tactile appeal.

This surely isn’t as healthy or good for me as my usual oatmeal. It’s still the best breakfast ever.