We have a new grill. It’s pretty cool as grills go. Large cooktop surface. Side burner. Our home came with a gas stub to the California room, so no more gas bottles or charcoal.
Unfortunately, within the Fox family this grill is preceded by a seven letter adjective! You know the word. It’s based on everyone’s favorite four letter invective… which I won’t type.
It’s the ***king grill.
We bought the grill right around the time we closed on the house. We bought it at Lowe’s with our washer, dryer and refrigerator.
They came assembled. Not the ***king grill. It came as a ‘grill kit’, in a heavy cardboard box.
Granted, I am not a handy guy. However, is it asking too much for the assembly manual to have words?
There are none!
When I spoke to a customer service rep, he said there are no words because it’s sold to people who speak many languages. You wouldn’t want to help one and shaft the others, right?
The rep enters this story because of the instruction diagram on the left. The two pieces which should be attached didn’t exist in my box of parts! After twenty minutes of frustration I phoned.
Those parts weren’t in my box because they’re not used in my grill! Surprise.
Little did I know an exclamation mark inside a triangle means disregard this instruction. I can’t be the only one fooled this way?
Of course the exclamation mark inside a triangle trick isn’t used consistently. That would be too easy.
A large piece stamped with a depression to accommodate a propane tank doesn’t have a triangle nearby. My natural gas unit has a flat version.
Neither is there an explanation why the instructions show vertical handles for a utility door. My unit has horizontal handles!
“Never again,” I said last time I assembled a grill. And yet, here I am!
Nothing on Lowe’s website or in the store made mention, “some assembly is required.”
The grill seems to work perfectly and fits into our outdoor space. We will enjoy using it–hopefully for many years.
However, to the Foxes it will never be the grill. It’s the ***king grill forever more.
