Tag: handyman

I’ve Got That Can’t Do Spirit

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I grew up in an apartment. I grew up far removed from tools or handiwork. When you own a home it helps to be coordinated. I am not what you would call coordinated.

We had Chris spend the day with us Monday. He is a professional handyman.

Five ceiling fans installed. Check.

Two TVs hung. Check.

Pendant lamps over the kitchen island. Check.

Kick plate on the door from the garage. Check.

Motion sense light switch in the garage. Check.

Hang a mirror. Check.

There is a feeling of powerlessness watching someone do mundane tasks you can’t do. When it comes to fixing and installing, I’m a can’t do kind of guy.

More than anything, what Chris has going for him is confidence. He knows if he screws up he can fix it. Confidence is power.

My main job Monday was driving to Home Depot three times! On the last trip the cashier asked if I was back or just hadn’t left yet.

The house continues to move closer to home status. There’s still a lot to be done. From here on out the tasks are closer to my level.

My Ankles Thank You

There was a clump of hair the size of a collie down there! Oh, that’s where it’s been going.

There are jobs that are Helaine’s. There are jobs that are mine.

Helaine handles the finances (masterfully) and keeps us organized. I kill varmints and act as our inept handyman.

That was my role yesterday–handyman.

Though I was oblivious to it Helaine noticed a slowdown in the shower drain.

In my world being oblivious is an energy saving device. That’s a guy thing, right?

I headed upstairs with needle nose pliers, a screwdriver and a medical clamp I acquired in the 70s. Don’t ask. I just acquired it–’nuff said.

Once I lifted the cap the cause of the stoppage was obvious. There was a clump of hair the size of a collie down there! Oh, that’s where it’s been going.

If you’ve never performed this thankless job beware–the hair stinks! No, really. It’s awful.

I went downstairs, got a plastic bag and removed it in much the same way Stef removes Roxie’s poop from the lawn. Yuck!

Today Helaine turned to me and said, “My ankles thank you.”

It’s no wonder she married me. I’m such a macho stud with crazy handyman skills.