What I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up

webcor tape recorderLooking back on my childhood it seemed inevitable I’d get into broadcasting as an adult. My parents tell me (I barely remember) I used to interview people on my father’s Webcor tape recorder–an unusual luxury in our tiny apartment in Brooklyn and nearly as tiny apartment in Queens.

That’s a picture of the exact model we had, including the blinking green eye which showed volume! Thank you Internet.

I became a disk jockey. That was not my first choice. I wanted to be a booth announcer.

Strange choice, right?

Back in the fifties all the booth work was done live. I’m not sure what about it appealed to me, but it did. They seemed official and grown-up.

Here’s an example of what I lusted after from one of the last network radio shows. I wanted to be the guy who comes in at eight seconds and says, “The CBS Radio Network presents The Stan Freberg Show.”

Unfortunately, my voice was much too thin and light for that kind of work. As I’ve grown older my voice has gotten deeper. When I entered radio it was high pitched.

It still seems like it would be fun. It’s just a job that doesn’t exist anymore.

Someday When We Move

“Someday when we move…” Helaine began. She was sitting over a pile of stuff; an archeological dig from a seldom opened cabinet in the family room. Unrelated artifacts were piling up on the family room floor.

“Someday when we move…” Helaine began. She was sitting over a pile of stuff; an archeological dig from a seldom opened cabinet in the family room. Unrelated artifacts were piling up on the family room floor. She was pondering how much crap we have that needs to disappear.

“Do you need these National Geographics from 2002-2003?” They are now outta here.

She found a cache of doctor’s notes and prescriptions from when she was an infant. My mother-in-law was a packrat where Helaine was concerned.

One note from the pediatrician told her mother to feed Helaine “strained meat, white or sweet potatoes and Jello.” Another added, “Try homogenized milk in place of formula.”

I’ve met this doctor now a sprightly younger-than-his-age senior. If he sent this note home today we’d be leading the news with his arrest, right?

We’ve got newspapers from Stef’s birth day. We’ve got papers from her first birthday too. Those aren’t going away. Same for the 12/31/99 and 1/1/00 stuff. Y2K may have been a bust but we’ve got it documented anyway.

Helaine held up a plastic bag full of newspapers from September 11. Those can never be discarded nor forgotten.

Did you read this book? Did you read that book? Lots of partially read books. I need a longer attention span.

There’s memorabilia from the Phils winning the National League Championship. We had limited expectations back then. Same for the UCONN NCAA win in March ’99.

Anyone need a Gucci TV Guide holder? We have one. Amazon has one listed for $150. Seriously?

Right now I’m staring at a very old record album: “The Best of the Stan Freberg Shows.” A crew cut Stan is grasping his glasses while holding a pink script and standing in front of a CBS Radio microphone. There’s a cut from this I’ll get dubbed and post here later. I no longer have a way at home to convert vinyl grooves to digits.

Someday when we move! I need to be absent that day.