I had my hair cut today. While sitting, waiting for Francine to be ready to transform me, I looked for something to read. Most beauty salons are a little short on ‘guy stuff’ to read – and Francine’s shop is no exception.
I picked up a copy of the National Enquirer, a publication I just don’t get to see that often.
Attention Enquirer – Please, no matter what, never get interested in me. Please, never publish a photo of me. I’m begging you. I’m down on my knees begging you. If success means getting blasted by you, I don’t need success.
Judging by this one issue there are bad photos of everyone! Even the most beautiful women and handsome men look bad from time-to-time, and the Enquirer knows where to get those shots.
Is Janet Jackson as tubby as they show? Was Kirsti Alley?
The most interesting part of the issue I saw was the retraction of a story about Teri Hatcher. I didn’t see the original work, but they must have really trashed her. And, as it turns out, other than the words “the, is, are and it,” not much else was true.
I don’t have the Enquirer’s apology in front of me, but Slate was good enough to summarize it.