Saturday Night Radio

“One of the five worst songs ever,” Helaine said as Melanie came on singing “Brand New Key.” I made her listen to the whole song anyway.

Helaine and I were out today. Our drive home tonight was around an hour.

It’s Saturday night and in our family there’s a Saturday night radio tradition. We need disco!

For years our needs were satiated. I’d turn on the radio and punch the scan button a few times until Gloria Gaynor or Barry White or Donna Summer came on. They were always there and at the ready like an afghan on the sofa.

Saturday nights were when you’d hear the ‘long version’ of these disco hits. Tonight not so much. The button was pushed and pushed and pushed.

From time-to-time we’d stop on something good though not really Saturday night appropriate.

“I love this,” Helaine said. She wasn’t talking about a song but the whole process of hopscotching through the radio dial–treating it as a buffet. Each of us has equal say to listen or go… but I push the button.

Not everything was good.

“One of the five worst songs ever,” Helaine said as Melanie came on singing “Brand New Key.” I made her listen to the whole song anyway.

When I was a disk jockey we ‘talked up’ the songs, speaking over the intro until the vocal began. It was fun to do. I was good at it. They don’t do it on the radio anymore. I understand the listeners didn’t like it much. Sorry. I miss it.

Saturday night is pretty much the only time I listen to commercial radio. It needs more disco.

I Hate The Common Cold

I have a cold. I have had it for a few days. It has progressed inside of me, though mainly staying in my throat. My sinuses are swollen which makes my teeth ache.

Tonight, on the air, I sounded throaty and husky – like a very pale Barry White. My friend Scot sent me an email

You sound like Brenda Vaccarro on those tampon commercials! Feel better, Scot!

I like the Barry White comparison better.

Why is there no cure for the common cold? It would seem this is the goose that lays golden eggs for the pharmaceutical house that figures it out. As it is, there’s nothing to do other than complain.

Actually, that’s not quite true. Helaine has given me a vial of “Airborne Formula.” Reading the label tells me it’s a blast of vitamins. There are also 17 herbs and nutrients. Helaine is well meaning, but the only thing this is doing is giving me expensive urine!

Whenever I get a cold, I hear, “There’s a lot of that going around.” No! I don’t want that. I want to be the only sufferer – the ultimate sufferer. I want sympathy, not to know I’m in some huge group of equally pathetic people.

Years ago… almost 20 years ago… when I used to smoke cigarettes, colds were awful. They lasted longer and stayed buried in my chest. Just quitting smoking made a huge difference. That was an unexpected benefit of being smoke free.

Of course there’s the question of whether you should come to work or not when you have a cold. There’s no definitive line. It’s all a matter of nuance.

I’m well enough to work. I’d feel guilty getting paid and sitting around the house. On the other hand, what if I in turn infect someone, allowing them to experience this cold and then pass it on.

It’s all a vicious cycle.