I Hate The Common Cold

I have a cold. I have had it for a few days. It has progressed inside of me, though mainly staying in my throat. My sinuses are swollen which makes my teeth ache.

Tonight, on the air, I sounded throaty and husky – like a very pale Barry White. My friend Scot sent me an email

You sound like Brenda Vaccarro on those tampon commercials! Feel better, Scot!

I like the Barry White comparison better.

Why is there no cure for the common cold? It would seem this is the goose that lays golden eggs for the pharmaceutical house that figures it out. As it is, there’s nothing to do other than complain.

Actually, that’s not quite true. Helaine has given me a vial of “Airborne Formula.” Reading the label tells me it’s a blast of vitamins. There are also 17 herbs and nutrients. Helaine is well meaning, but the only thing this is doing is giving me expensive urine!

Whenever I get a cold, I hear, “There’s a lot of that going around.” No! I don’t want that. I want to be the only sufferer – the ultimate sufferer. I want sympathy, not to know I’m in some huge group of equally pathetic people.

Years ago… almost 20 years ago… when I used to smoke cigarettes, colds were awful. They lasted longer and stayed buried in my chest. Just quitting smoking made a huge difference. That was an unexpected benefit of being smoke free.

Of course there’s the question of whether you should come to work or not when you have a cold. There’s no definitive line. It’s all a matter of nuance.

I’m well enough to work. I’d feel guilty getting paid and sitting around the house. On the other hand, what if I in turn infect someone, allowing them to experience this cold and then pass it on.

It’s all a vicious cycle.

2 thoughts on “I Hate The Common Cold”

  1. It sounds like it is not the flu you have and I hope I don’t get what you have either. While on a family trip to London in November my wife and I, amid the U.S. flu vaccine panic, found a medicenter at Victoria Station to get a flu shot. I hate any kind of sickness and hope we are covered at this point from the flu at least. Our kids, however, are another story and if they get sick we will be up all night with them even if we are not. Good luck to all and stay well.

  2. Jeff,

    Greetings from a longtime channel 8 viewer and fellow broadcaster (in fact, I did some part-time work at WPEN not long after you left the station). I hope things perked up for you in Florida after the flat tire incident.

    I had to respond to your comment about getting fewer colds since you quit cigarettes. Have you ever also considered giving up diet soda? As someone who used to do radio six days a week (as a “recovering DJ,” I’ve cut back to just a Sunday show these days), I found that every cold I got would morph into a sore throat and bad laryngitis – always to land me in the Ear Nose & Throat specialist’s office where he’d prescribe a steroid inhaler and tell me to remain silent for 24-48 hours, pretty tough, eh? Back then, I would often consume 3-4 cans of diet Pepsi a night. Tired of the frequent throat problems, I switched to seltzer (sugar-free and aspartame-free) as my beverage of choice on- and off-air. I found my frequency of colds dropped dramatically and those that did hit didn’t always lead into a throat crisis. Is there a connection? I think so. I’m no health nut, but removing a whole bunch of chemicals from your throat can only do it good.

    Check the label on Diet Coke. Compare it to Adirondack Wildberry Seltzer (ingredients: Carbonated Water, Natural Flavor). Big difference.

    I have one silly Florida question — is there still a branch of Pumpernicks or The Rascal House in the Boca or Lauderdale areas? They used to prepare the world’s finest pickled lox.

    Best regards,

    Mike McCann


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