“Hon.” It was 3:50 AM and it was Helaine. Her voice was sleepy and loud and “Hon” was more like “Huuuuuuuhn.” I had been working in my office next to our bedroom. It’s unusual for her to call me like this. I stood up and moved to the door.
She was up in bed and she was holding the blanket off her.
The Foxes, as with many couples, don’t share a single thermostat. I’d like the house kept in the 70°s. Helaine would be happy closer to the mid-60°… maybe more like approaching the mid-60°s from below!
Years ago I’d been advised if she were my landlord I could have her arrested for the temperature she kept the house. She was not impressed. Our compromise was to leave her in charge.
Finally last week I had a Popeye moment. You know the scene in Popeye cartoons where Bluto’s finally pushed him too far? With steam streaming from his corncob pipe he shouts, “That’s all I can takes cause I can’t takes n’more!”
“Where’s our electric blanket?” I asked.
We have an electric blanket with two controls–One for me and one for Helaine. Helaine’s is really just for show. The blanket hasn’t been used since last winter. Helaine’s control might still have the original factory wrapping on.
Back to last night.
“I think there’s a problem. I think my side is on and yours is not. Feel your side of the sheets”
Helaine was having a moment similar to those experienced by Bernie Madoff’s victims. We’d been sleeping for the last few nights with the blanket upside down! My control was heating Helaine’s half of the bed!
Oh the humanity!