It’s Demo Day At The Foxes

You treat your home with respect. Demo guys respect it too as they wield crowbars with surgical precision. Still a crowbar is a crowbar. It is neither dainty nor quiet.

They call it “Demo Day.” It is the beginning of a home improvement project in both our kitchen and dining room. Demo is short for demolition and a word I never expected to be attached to my house.

If you own a home you understand its importance as an investment–the largest investment you’ll ever make. You treat your home with respect. Demo guys respect it too as they wield crowbars with surgical precision. Still a crowbar is a crowbar. It is neither dainty nor quiet.

One of the demo guys told me he enjoys it–you know, knocking down walls in other people’s homes. How could he not? It’s the world’s greatest tension killer.

Parts of walls and the ceiling are now down on my floor. The dishwasher is in the garage. We will be discombobulated for a while. I’d say how long, but everything I know from everyone else whose ever had crowbar wielding demo guys in their home says it ill fall behind schedule.





New Discovery In The Kitchen

With a full load inside Helaine went to light up the dishwasher and… nothing. Uh oh. I acted husbandly, pushing all the buttons and looking concerned. Nothing.

My niece Melissa is coming to visit tomorrow. That’s a big occasion in this little family (I only have two nieces and one nephew). I’ll be meeting her plane at LaGuardia in the morning.

Melissa will be glad to hear Helaine baked. Actually, she might not know the true implications of that last sentence. In that case I am glad Helaine baked for her!

Meanwhile the pre-Melissa house sprucing continues. A few minutes ago Helaine went to fire up the dishwasher and… nothing. Uh oh. I acted husbandly pushing all the buttons and looking concerned–nothing.

Down to the basement and the fuse box. Did you know breakers 29 and 31 are swapped? Me neither. I turned off the dishwasher’s breaker only to hear Helaine say, “The TV and DVR just clicked off.” Nice.

Dishwasher electrical switchFinally after much head scratching Helaine asked, “What’s this switch for?” It was a light switch mounted in a plate with two AC outlets near the splashboard behind the sink. I flicked it upward. Problem solved.

Nearly 20 years in this house and no one has ever noticed this switch! Not only that, no one had ever turned it off.

Missing Helaine

Helaine’s out-of-town for a few days. It’s very quiet here.

I am very surprised how much more efficient I am at amassing a mess when she’s not around, even though I’m not sure how I do it!

The mail, which I was asked to leave in a provided plastic bag, is piled on the kitchen counter. The newspapers are piled, one upon the other, on the kitchen table.

I have thumbed through the Times each day, but the New Haven Register has only had its cover perused. Sorry inside advertisers.

Knowing I’m an organizational nightmare, Helaine left “oatmeal kits” – literally pre-measured bags of oatmeal! Still, when I went to cook my oatmeal this morning, the first step was to wash out yesterday’s pot and escort yesterday’s dish from the sink to the dishwasher.

Some things never change, I suppose.

I went to work yesterday leaving the stove on! It was on low. Still.

The pills I take on a daily basis are in one of those little compartmentalized plastic holders (which in the absence of a drivers license can be used to qualify for any senior citizen discount). I’ve been good with the pills, but only because I remember what happened when I wasn’t taking my antihistamine.

I am off work tomorrow, so I plan on doing the wash and straightening up… or, possibly, not. I have some friends coming over tomorrow night. The downstairs will be presentable. That’s a given. And, even if it’s a mad dash to the finish, everything will be fine when Helaine returns.

Before she left, Helaine pre-positioned snacks. No shopping necessary. They’re the Hershey’s equivalent of M&Ms, but in order to make sure they’d be here for my guests, Helaine has hidden them. Where they are is on a need to know basis. I currently don’t have the proper clearance.

This is trash night. I could take the cans out now, but tonight (when there’s the chance of rain) is when I’ll do it.

I’ve always firmly believed it is correct to put off anything, with the thought the world could end between now and when the project is due. Unfortunately, this is the kind of dominant trait passed from father to child. My bad.

Helaine is only gone a few days and look where I am already. Imagine what I was like as a bachelor? Good lord!

I had a ketchup bottle stuck to my kitchen table and science projects growing in the bathroom.

If left to my own devices, like most men, I’d revert to my caveman concept of neat and clean. Why don’t we ever really grow up?