Darlene Love Alert

Late Show with David Letterman Guests   CBS.comThis Friday marks David Letterman’s annual Christmas show, always featuring Darlene Love singing “Christmas, Baby Please Come Home.” I wait for this performance every year. Last year, as the grateful guest of Matt Scott, I watched Darlene perform it live!

There is a formula followed year-after-year, which is why I’m currently worried.

First there’s Jay Thomas. He tells the story of the Lone Ranger at a car dealership. Then a guest with something to promote comes on. Last year the beautiful, but cold as a fish, Naomi Watts. Then (after an interminable production stop while the studio gets reconfigured) Darlene, full orchestra with strings and a choir.

I checked this year’s lineup. John McEnroe, Kristen Wiig, Darlene. No Jay Thomas!

Uh, oh. This isn’t good. I’ll keep my ear to the tracks to find out what’s happened, kimosabee.

Note: See the comments for more on Jay’s absence.

I Work In The Ego Business

It’s possible there’s a business where the employees have larger egos than we do in TV, but I haven’t found it. By the way, I’m not excluding myself. I have a room sized ego – and a large room at that.

That’s one reason why Roger Friedman’s revelation (and Gail Shister’s this past weekend) of trouble in Katie Couric’s paradise is not a big surprise to me.

Katie Couric’s barrage of bad publicity is coming not from the outside, but from the inside of CBS, sources tell me.

Indeed, one of Couric’s frequently mentioned enemies is Bob Schieffer, the lovable, durable veteran journalist who filled in as anchor of the “CBS Evening News” between Dan Rather’s departure and Couric’s arrival.

But sources say that Schieffer has been unhappy lately, mainly because his airtime, which was prominent when Couric first started, has dwindled in recent weeks.

Avuncular Bob Schieffer – really? Again, no surprise.

Once you’ve make the decision to be ‘on’ TV, you really should give up all pretenses of not being interested in the superficial aspects broadcasting brings. They are intoxicating. They can be kept under control… no, they should be kept under control, though that’s more difficult done than said.

I’ve heard stories of news anchors who had their spouses time the ‘reads’ each anchor had! Don’t shortchange my hubby, you hussy!

Even people I’ve sat next to on the news set have looked at me as if I’d dropped in from another planet. They were poised to blame me personally for any lack of success that might follow.

The truth is, any time there’s any ratings falloff people go searching for a scapegoat. If you work at a car dealership, people might not like your cars. If you work on TV, the product is often you!

I once worked with an anchor team that couldn’t stand each other. He was quiet and studious. She was brash and abrasive. One night she let him have it with a horrific tongue lashing, which she ended by telling him he was a “no talent.”

She timed her diatribe to finish just as the theme ended and the mikes went live. He was left without the ability to respond. I can’t imagine how that must have felt.

The CBS Evening News ratings are off. But, what you mainly hear is, Katie’s ratings are off. It’s tough when so much of the product is considered to be you. It’s also an insult to the other people reporting, producing and executing the show… but they’re not the ‘face.’

When you make $15,000,000 per year there’s a huge bullseye on your back. Lots of people are anxious to point out, they told you so.

I’m not sure if Katie will make it through her contract, but if she doesn’t, I’d bet the pressure will come from inside, not outside.

Car Buying Time

The word is out. It’s time to replace Helaine’s SUV.

Of all the purchase decisions in our lives, this is the one we enjoy the least. Seemingly, there’s no good way to buy a car and guarantee you’re getting something good for a good price. How can you not have buyer’s remorse?

I’ve been pouring through Consumer Reports. Most of their info is good. They seem a little heavy handed in the way they push their own service, which provides the actual price a dealer pays for vehicles. I’ll probably swallow hard and buy it anyway. Isn’t Consumer Reports supposed to be a little less self serving?

We went to two dealers today. At the first we looked around, acted sheepish, looked at a few cars and decided which might do.

We realized, after about thirty seconds, their midsize model was too small and their big model too pricey. A salesman came over as we were deciding to leave. I apologize here for costing you an ‘up’.

We’ve scouted out financing, but there’s a ‘deal’ currently underway from the manufacturer. Zero percent for 36 months. That’s a better price (duh) and there are legal advantages to dealer financing.

I have some rules at a car dealership. If you’re my salesman, we are joined at the hip. You cannot leave my side to consult with your manager. If you go, I go. They never like hearing that.

You may not treat me like a fool. If you lie to me, and believe me it’s happened, I will call you on it before I walk out. Lying infuriates me. I do not suffer fools or liars gladly.

Helaine made me promise not to make anyone at the dealership cry. I get a little nuts during the heat of battle, but it’s their fault. Decisions at the ‘car store’ are stacked in their favor. They have all the info. You have little. And, the salesmen have incentive to make you pay as much as is possible.

In the end, we’ll find the car we want and desperately try to get bids from three dealerships. I did that when we bought Helaine’s first SUV and I think it worked well.

I should probably sell Helaine’s car privately. Do I want to be in the used car business? Of course, you lose a lot when you trade a car in.

During the last shopping cycle, long after I left one dealership, the manager related to a friend of mine who just happened to be there, “Geoff Fox was here. He was shopping on price. He won’t be back.”

You’ve got that right, bucko.

The SRS Light

I got the call from the car dealership concerning the SRS light incident of yesterday. The onboard computer spit out what had happened, and my light was on because of a momentary failure of a microswitch in the driver’s side seatbelt.

First, I’m a little surprised the seatbelt latch is wired like that – reporting back its trouble. Maybe I shouldn’t be.

The light has gone off. The problem was probably momentary, but how can I be sure? I can’t. And without an assurance the air bag system is working, driving the car becomes a chancy proposition.

I told them to fix it, though it is not cheap. How could I not?

I’m on my way to Cherry Hill, NJ tonight and was looking forward to taking my car… maybe even riding with the convertible top down this weekend. Instead I’ll be ‘borrowing’ Steffie’s car.