Attack of the Killer Wasps

Every year we live in this house, we get a little lazier. There are less new plantings (though the old ones are getting mature), less rearrangement and less weeding. Actually, until today, there was no weeding.

It’s a painstaking, back breaking job and Helaine decided she would do it. Wednesday morning she put on her gardening gloves and set outside. But no sooner had she gone out the front door when she came to an unsettling realization.

We had a wasp nest, above the corner of our front door, about the size of a Nerf football. And, probably from the door’s vibrations, wasps were streaming out, sitting on the nest… loitering like the thugs they are.

I have no way of knowing if this is true or not, but my perception of wasps is that, unlike bees, they need no provocation to attack.

Helaine moved away from the door and weeded away. The wasps stayed and protected their turf.

We found a can of wasp and hornet spray in the garage. You know this is powerful stuff because 2/3 of the can is dedicated to telling you what to do should you mistakenly ingest this – spraying it down your throat like a can of whipped cream.

I waited until tonight. It was very still, perfect for wasp destruction. I got the can, shook vigorously, and walked outside. Even at midnight I was amazed to see the wasps walking all over the outside of the nest. There were a few perched nearby, but away from the crowd.

From 12 feet, I let loose. The spray hit the nest and saturated it. Big drops of poisonous liquid floated down to my front steps. The wasps lucky enough to have missed the stream started flying.

At this point it didn’t seem safe to go back through the door, so I called to Steffie who opened the garage. I skulked in like some commando going back to base.

When I check tomorrow, hopefully they’ll be gone. It’s tough to believe they could have survived the spray of death. The next step will be to get a broom and remove the evidence.

I have heard people talk about insects in the past. They always say, “they’re more scared of you than you are of them.” Impossible.

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