When I diet (and as an actual grown-up this has become more frequent), I like to weigh myself. Given my druthers, I’d look at my weight the same way some people watch CNBC.
Eat an almond. Up 2oz. Uh oh. Better be more careful.
Of course, that sort of data flow would be unmanageable and people would look at me as some sort of whack job. Well, more than they already do.
As it is, Helaine thinks I weigh myself too much and hasn’t been shy in telling me.
I no longer weigh myself while she’s trying to sleep.
My biggest problem with the whole thing is our scale. It’s a Health-o-meter HDL-901, if you’re keeping score at home. I have attached a photo from Health-o-meter’s website.
I mention that in case you think there’s a chance I weigh 135.
The problem with the scale is I have to get on three times, at least, for the correct reading. Seriously. The first two times are always low. It could be two pounds (most common error) or as much as 10 pounds.
I get on the first time and the scale is probably thinking, “What would he like to see?” Doubting it, I get off, allow it to reset, and get back on. Same number. Then, in disbelief I’m back on a third time.
Oops – now it’s the right weight… or there’s a new way to put on two pounds in 45 seconds.
In case you’re wondering, the scale is on a solid marble floor. It is in the ‘outer’ bathroom, where it’s not affected by the high moisture content of the shower.
I think it’s under warranty. But, with so much else in life, the warranty really isn’t worth that much. I’d have to pay to ship it to Health-o-meter land, and I’d have to do without the scale while it was gone.
Are you kidding? Not until they pull the scale from my dead, lifeless fingers!
So, for the time being I’ll remain somewhat up-in-the-air over my weight. The good news is, I’ve lost just about everything I gained during the “Fox Family Buffet Tour of Nevada.”