Economies of (My Bathroom) Scale

When I diet (and as an actual grown-up this has become more frequent), I like to weigh myself. Given my druthers, I’d look at my weight the same way some people watch CNBC.

Eat an almond. Up 2oz. Uh oh. Better be more careful.

Of course, that sort of data flow would be unmanageable and people would look at me as some sort of whack job. Well, more than they already do.

As it is, Helaine thinks I weigh myself too much and hasn’t been shy in telling me.

I no longer weigh myself while she’s trying to sleep.

My biggest problem with the whole thing is our scale. It’s a Health-o-meter HDL-901, if you’re keeping score at home. I have attached a photo from Health-o-meter’s website.

I mention that in case you think there’s a chance I weigh 135.

The problem with the scale is I have to get on three times, at least, for the correct reading. Seriously. The first two times are always low. It could be two pounds (most common error) or as much as 10 pounds.

I get on the first time and the scale is probably thinking, “What would he like to see?” Doubting it, I get off, allow it to reset, and get back on. Same number. Then, in disbelief I’m back on a third time.

Oops – now it’s the right weight… or there’s a new way to put on two pounds in 45 seconds.

In case you’re wondering, the scale is on a solid marble floor. It is in the ‘outer’ bathroom, where it’s not affected by the high moisture content of the shower.

I think it’s under warranty. But, with so much else in life, the warranty really isn’t worth that much. I’d have to pay to ship it to Health-o-meter land, and I’d have to do without the scale while it was gone.

Are you kidding? Not until they pull the scale from my dead, lifeless fingers!

So, for the time being I’ll remain somewhat up-in-the-air over my weight. The good news is, I’ve lost just about everything I gained during the “Fox Family Buffet Tour of Nevada.”

2 thoughts on “Economies of (My Bathroom) Scale”

  1. Dear Geoff,

    I feel your pain! It’s been difficult going through life (as I refer to it) as a “human yo-yo.” I am happy to say at the moment I have trimmed down to a size 12 (hey, Marilyn Monroe wore a 14)…and remain as such…yayayayyayaya!!

    The worse gain was not due to a “Nevada buffet”, but to a “lil guy” (Bobby) who was born in 1979. He is now 6′ and 235 lbs, and I look at him and marvel at how big he is. In fact, I LOVE standing next to him, not just because he’s my son, but because I feel little 🙂

    My daughter, Kristin, is another story. Do you know they make jeans in a size 0???? ZERO….what the heck is that??? I didn’t wear a zero, I am sure, even in my first year of life!

    I have been reading your “Blog” the last week or so, when I stumbled on it from a “Google” search. It’s great to see you and Helaine are well, and Steffie is adorable!

    Keep up the “good words”!!!

    Best regards!!!

    Mariana (a/k/a Buns)

    p.s. you’ll notice the email address reflects my warm feelings for a wonderful station in Philly!!

  2. Ahh yes, the Health-o-Meter. In the beginning I did not know that mine was lying. Imagine my surprise at the doctors office when they weighed me and I was ten pounds heavier than I had thought!

    From that point on I would weigh myself, step off, move it an inch and step back on. Mine also took three tries to get the weight to be in the “normal range”. I loved the digital aspect…but honestly I just sold it in a tag sale and bought an “old fashioned” scale. It appears to agree with my doctor’s scale so I no longer walk out with a shocked look on my face.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *