Kanye The Fish

How do you eulogize a fish? How can you summarize the seven months of Kanye, Steffie’s pet Beta?

There aren’t often outward signs that a fish is about to check out. Kanye telegraphed his upcoming demise. A few days ago he started doing laps around his little bowl, throwing himself at the glass every so often.

Originally Kayla, Stef’s college roommate, was afraid of Kanye. But how could the fear last, when Kanye was such a good companion who loved to watch VH-1?

He even forgave Steffie and Kayla for originally spelling his name Kayne!

Kanye enjoyed baths in the sink and riding in Stef’s car (in both bowl and plastic bag). He had lived a good life in the dorm, even surviving a near death jump to the bathroom floor, where he was rescued with two spoons.

The original thought was to give Kanye a burial at sea. When I looked at the pebbles in the bowl and then remembered our septic system, the plan changed. Kanye was laid to rest behind a pretty tree in our side yard.

In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the American Sushi Foundation.

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