Almost bedtime, so I headed to the kitchen for a quick recon before going upstairs. As I opened the pantry door there they were. Helaine had brought home
crack cocaine Hydrox cookies. As suspenders are to Larry King and Cherry ChapStick is to Katy Perry, Hydrox is to me.
Hello old friend. Where have you been these last 30 pounds?
While others can claim some sort of affection for Oreo, I was always a dedicated Hydrox guy. I loved its firmer white creamy filling and crisper cookies. As a kid I’d open Hydrox-after-Hydrox, combining the individual fillings until I had an immense, white, sugar high staring at me.
My love of Hydrox goes back as far as I can remember. I devoured them as a kid and stayed skinny. While a bachelor I’d often eat a full sleeve of Hydrox, chasing them down with Coca Cola… and not that sugar-free wussy crap I drink now. Life was oh very simple then. I could eat and drink until I ran out and never put on a pound.
At some point while watching my weight and avoiding my Hydrox, Sunshine stopped making them. My business alone was what kept them going all those years–that’s certain. And then last week I saw an article in the Times. Hydrox was temporarily coming back. The next thing you know they’re back in the house. Most likely they jumped in the grocery cart while Helaine wasn’t looking.
I’d never seen it before, but there is now nutritional information on he back of the Hydrox package. Really? Why? Part of the allure of Hydrox is there’s nothing nutritional about it! No trans fats–where’s the fun in that?
I suspect when this package is empty there will be no more. Life can be cruel. I’m a big boy. I just don’t need to be bigger.