The potato chips were there when I walked into the newsroom this afternoon. This kind of stuff happens. There’s a guest on the noon show or a reporter is in the right place at the right time and all of a sudden treats appear. Newsies are selfless that way.
And these weren’t run-of-the-mill chips. These were Cape Cod Potato Chips–The Halle Berry of chipdom!
Oh yeah. Halle Berry–beautiful and alluring and yet the relationship never ends well!
I walked by again-and-again unconsciously thrusting my arm deep into one of the open bags. I had some this afternoon. I had more tonight.
“Aren’t you worried about germs?” Darren Kramer, a man of unwavering willpower and impeccable hygiene asked.
No, no. Chips trump all health concerns. After all, they’re chips!
Hopefully by tomorrow other newsroom leeches will have emptied the bags. I’ll be able to return to my carrots and Diet Pepsi.
Tonight I’m a broken man. Please, don’t tell the scale.