I fell off the wagon tonight. I’m not proud. Where was my willpower when I really needed it?
The potato chips were there when I walked into the newsroom this afternoon. This kind of stuff happens. There’s a guest on the noon show or a reporter is in the right place at the right time and all of a sudden treats appear. Newsies are selfless that way.
And these weren’t run-of-the-mill chips. These were Cape Cod Potato Chips–The Halle Berry of chipdom!
Oh yeah. Halle Berry–beautiful and alluring and yet the relationship never ends well!
I walked by again-and-again unconsciously thrusting my arm deep into one of the open bags. I had some this afternoon. I had more tonight.
“Aren’t you worried about germs?” Darren Kramer, a man of unwavering willpower and impeccable hygiene asked.
No, no. Chips trump all health concerns. After all, they’re chips!
Hopefully by tomorrow other newsroom leeches will have emptied the bags. I’ll be able to return to my carrots and Diet Pepsi.
Tonight I’m a broken man. Please, don’t tell the scale.
4 thoughts on “Off The Wagon: The Chips Made Me Do It”
>>The Halle Berry of chipdom!
…. Halle Berry–beautiful and alluring and yet the relationship never ends well!
Sometimes you really turn a phrase.
I’ve long found you unusually witty, and have stolen a line or two from your “Witty Weatherman” schtick occasionally and built it in to my sales repertoire; but this…this is as if you’ve had a recent tune-up!
>>….carrots and Diet Pepsi.
No wonder you maintain that svelte trim figure.
Carrots and Diet Pepsi, amount to an authentic WASP snack (using the word “snack” loosely or course) that my own mother would have approved.
Had America stuck to the dietary habits of the early settlers we’d all be fairly thin save for occasionally stopping for a treat at something along the lines of `Cedric’s Warm Beer & Yorkshire Pudding on a Stick” or something equally horrible sounding.
Mom did however wear the same size she did in high school (class of `39) her entire life….and I suspect you’re not a lot bigger than you were at 18-20 either, especially if your normal snack is as ghastly as you state.
Did you know that March 14th is National Potato Chip Day? Celebrate!!
I was never a fan of kettle chips until I tasted Deep River chips made in Old Lyme, Ct. Especially delicious are the Zesty Jalapeno and Cracked Pepper & Sea Salt. The company makes a large variety of flavors. Try them sometime.
ACR – Thank you. I can actually go through the steps involved in writing the Halle Barry line. It was a conscious decision and it was crafted methodically.
That’s not said to pat myself on the back (though I too think it’s a pretty good line) but to point out writing is not what I thought it was when I was a schoolboy.
Specifically, rewriting is the most important part of the process. Many of my entries would be unrecognizable if seen in first draft form. It is the computer which makes rewriting so much easier and rewarding.
I weigh about 35 pounds more than when I first tasted Helaine’s baking. ‘Nuff said.
Kathy – I will have to try some Deep River chips. I am a traditionalist–just potatoes and salt, no flavoring necessary. Chips are their own reward.
Tell Darren it’s a well known scientific fact that germs can not live on potato chips. After all, potatoes are grown underground in the dirt. They have a natural immunity to germs!