My sister and I know all too well what life is like for my father at ninety-one. It’s tough. Nothing is easy — nothing.
I try and call my father every day. Most days, like today, it rings until it goes to the recorded announcement saying he never set up his voicemail. Dad neither hears the ring nor feels the vibration. No one has certified him, but he’s certifiably deaf.
We speak only after he plugs a pair of earphones into his phone! Even then it’s iffy.
He and I didn’t speak yesterday. He couldn’t find his phone. It dropped and bounced under the sofa. It was barely hidden but might as well have been on Mars. The floor is out-of-reach.
A similar incident happened a few months back. He went to take something from the refrigerator and it slipped from his hands crashing to the floor. It stayed there until LaTonya returned Monday.
My dad tires quickly. Most phone conversations end when he says he’s out of steam just from talking.
It’s a tough life. His hands constantly quiver. He only has one eye. He watches TV with the volume off and the captions on.
He’s glad he’s alive!
Small things, like a phone call or email, mean a lot. Seeing his great-grandchildren sends him over the Moon. Happy. Elated. Proud. He’s waited a lifetime (and then some) for this payoff.
He’s got a bad chest cold at the moment. At 91 even a cold is serious. My sister and I huddled on the phone and made the recommendation to see the doctor. LaTonya will be taking him tomorrow.
He’s learned to adapt and cover his frailties. He also has a good support system, especially with LaTonya there nearly every day.
No matter how you slice it 91 is difficult.
6 thoughts on “At 91 Everything’s Tough”
What a pair you two make—color coordinated at that. Your dad has a good attitude and that is half the battle. No, Living isn’t easy, in my mind or experience. Some complain about this in their mid 60’s and complain that our “golden years” are somewhat tarnished. On the other hand, the advances in medical care available to us in these years, is vast. I feel it and I know that your dad has and is experiencing it—-for that matter, so are you. One thing is for sure—your dad is making the most out of each day that he lives—and God Bless him for that. You come from folks with good genes!
My mom was the same way. Wouldn’t go to the doctor unless forced. She ‘didn’t want to be a bother’. I told her that was her job – to be a bother to me. I moved home after my dad died because she had never lived alone. I took care of her for 20+ years and it was hard, fun, frustrating and wonderful. I’m so glad you talk every day (at least when he remembers where the phone is). I think the hardest part after mom died was I would call every night as I was leaving work to see if she needed anything, if I was picking her up to go out to eat or if she wanted to meet somewhere. (Yes, she still drove at 82.) Now, there is no one to call. You two are keeping each other going – I love it.
God bless you and your father! I’m over 82 and find it quite difficult keeping up with my small daily chores….everything is not only difficult but soooo slllooowwwww. I empathize with your father….he’s doing the best he can possible do, one foot in front of the other…and one day at a time..His pure will is keeping him going and being stubborn helps….wishing him many more days of joy and sunshine…love to you…
How wonderful the two of you all cuddled up cozy like that — both smiling , you can tell he’s so happy to be with you! God bless him……..what a guy!
My Dad turned 91 years old last November he still drives everyday,has to have his coffee at DD or get soup for him and his lady friend at Paneros, ,loves going to my 7 year old nephews hockey games ,his only problem is remembering to turn on his hearing aids or turning them up,my sisters,brothers and our children are truly blessed to have such a wonderful,loving father and grandfather ,we make sure to speak everyday and never forget to say I Love You before leaving or hanging up , We should start a Senior Parent Club just to Thank God everyday for our blessing ,bless you and your father for being honoree members
Geoffrey – It is admirable that you call your Dad every day! Both of my parents are gone. My father died way back in 1972 – just 2-1/2 months before I visited you in Charlotte. My Mom passed in 2009. Did I call her every day? Heck no. She usually called me about once a month. One could argue that we weren’t that close – yet she knew me better than anyone on the planet – including my wife. Anyway, your father, despite his physical limitations, is a lucky guy to have such a close family.