Seinfeld And The TV Model

Louis C.K. Comedy  Sex and The Blue Numbers   Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee by Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld has an Internet show, “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.” Season three began today.

It’s a very funny show and very formulaic.

Start with Seinfeld. Add a quirky car. Fetch another comedian. Get coffee. Return.

This show is a radical assault on the conventional model for program production.

No network. No TV station. No cable company. They’ve all been eliminated from the food chain.

All Seinfeld’s show has is a website (and great word-of-mouth). Over time, as the net becomes our primary means of consuming media, will stations/networks/cable be needed at all?

CiCGC is sponsored programming. Acura wraps a commercial on either side of this 20’ish minute production.

The cost of production (not the quality) is well below network levels, but so are expectations.

I want to see more of this boutique programming. Media driven by creatives is good.

Who The Hell Is Joe Wong?

Yet as soon as he began to speak the audience roared–and this is a very tough crowd!

My buddy Farrell shot me an email Thursday. Here’s the gist:

I attended the Radio & Television Correspondents Dinner last night at the DC Convention Center. Joe Biden was the main speaker. A couple of funny lines in the beginning of his speech. Also, look for Joe Wong, a comedian, who wrapped up the evening. He has a final line about global warming. I thought of you.

First, I’m impressed Farrell was at the dinner. He is the International Man of Mystery&#153, but he’s never been a correspondent. At least he hasn’t been in the nearly thirty years I know him¹!

Second, who the hell is Joe Wong? Am I that far behind on comedians? I went to the C-SPAN site to look at the video. That’s when I found out this broadcast wasn’t even on ‘real’ C-SPAN, but C-SPAN 2–The Deuce.

Joe was introduced as having been on Letterman and Ellen Degeneres. That’s OK on a resume, but not great. He walked to the podium. If you were looking for a comedian he is not what you would have been looking for! Yet as soon as he began to speak the audience roared–and this is a very tough crowd!

Joe Wong is Chinese born, Rice educated. His accent is strong. His observations of our, now his, culture are dead on.

This was a great surprise–a wonderful surprise. I am now a Joe Wong fan.

Here’s the video from C-SPAN 2.

¹ – I met Farrell on the phone about 15 minutes before I knocked over and then met Helaine. That was a VERY good day!

On The Way Back Home–Jacksonville Airport

Helaine said it reminded her of prison.

The last night on a cruise is sad. Everywhere you walk bags line the hallways. Things are shutting down. Accounts are settled up.

IMG_7814.jpgWe went to the late show and saw Frank Del Pizzo‘s “R” rated show. Now I’m a huge fan. He was side splittingly funny. Were there curse words? Sure. But he wasn’t crude or inappropriate. He also did more “callbacks” than any other comedian I can remember!

He’s coming to New Haven. Maybe we’ll see him again, though I suspect it’s the same act.

We headed to the casino. I sat at the single poker table and won a few bucks (literally), but by midnight an unfriendly looking man in an Austin Powers Nehru suit came to tell us the casino would close at midnight. For whatever reason the ship was heading into Jacksonville early. We spent the overnight hours docked and out of international waters.

Helaine took care of packing. Most of it was done during the day. She finished when we returned to the cabin. For the Foxes, this was a lightly packed trip and that paid off.

I’m writing this from the Jacksonville Airport. The TSA screening area was very busy as we walked the rat maze. The TSA’s domain is totally lit with fluorescent lights. Helaine said it reminded her of prison, though

  • How would she know what a prison is like?
  • Wouldn’t prisons use more soothing lighting to cut down on violence?

Just asking.

IMG_7818.jpgFinally, the end of Concourse “C” at Jacksonville has a large 30 foot tall window. A semi-transparent applique is affixed to it showing a giant woman with a shopping bag.

Today’s flight leaves at 12:55 and stops briefly in Baltimore before heading to Bradley International.

I am tired.

George Carlin Dies

I only met him once. It was in New York City. I was in college. My friend Paul was working at WMCA for the summer.

george-carlin.jpgOh my God. George Carlin is dead. I cannot believe it.

I only met him once. It was in New York City. I was in college. My friend Paul was working at WMCA for the summer. I’m not quite sure what Paul did there, but he’d wangled his way inside. That would be the theme of Paul’s life. He was very good at it.

WMCA’s studio was large and white. There were signs, printed not handwritten, reminding guests that the mics were “always on.”

Carlin was intense.

I remember him first as the Hippy Dippy Weatherman and then watched as his modus operandi changed with time. Carlin’s strength was his use of language. He had a visceral understanding of its incongruities. His humor was lost on those who wanted to see comedy without thinking.

He seemed angry recently. His act sometimes even seemed a little mean. The Times called him splenetic. Perfect. I suspect he didn’t suffer fools gladly. It must have irked him to have people write second rate material in his name and then spread it across the Internet.

In the mid-70s I saw George Carlin at the Tower Theater, just outside Philadelphia. I was far from the stage. It was an awful way to see a comedian and I went home unhappy.

George Carlin leaves a huge legacy of comedy. I thought he’d live forever.

How Comedians Were Made

I’ve been watching YouTube tonight. That’s probably a bad thing to say, since watching YouTube means I’m not watching television.

It’s interesting how, in many ways, YouTube (or one of its wannabe sister sites) has become the conduit for many of our shared mutual experiences. That used to be the province of TV. Now, if you missed it when it happened, you can catch up online.

Tonight on YouTube I was watching airchecks of a few comedians first appearances with Johnny Carson. I remembered seeing Rosanne Barr’s first set as it aired on The Tonight Show. Others I may have seen, but they didn’t leave an impression at the time.

When I was going to college and long into my working life, Johnny Carson and the Tonight Show was the only thing on nationally after the late news. There was no Letterman or Leno or Conan or Jon Stewart. Yeah – there was cable, but cable had few additional channels and fewer original productions.

A comedian making his/her debut appearance on the Tonight Show could expect their life to change forever instantly. I’ve heard more than one comic say that.

There were three responses you could get from Johnny. He could politely applaud. That was bad news. He could give you the ‘hi’ sign. That was approval.

If you were really good, Johnny would call you over to the couch for a minute or two. Ellen DeGeneres was called over on her first night. You could see in her eyes she totally understood what was happening.

That era, where one program could have such an impact, is gone. It will never come back. In a multichannel universe, no one show can dominate.

As much as the rights holders are probably upset, having these moments of television history available is yet another luxury of the Internet.

Letterman’s Impressionists

My DVR was set to record David Letterman tonight. It’s been a long time since I did that. His show is must see TV for me this week, because it’s “Impressionist Week.”

I love impressionists. I remember watching them perform on Ed Sullivan when I was a kid. They did voices that made my parents laugh, based on references I didn’t get at the time. My dad’s laugh of approval was good enough for me.

I knew Rich Little would have to be part of the Letterman line-up at some point, but I didn’t expect him to be the first up.

Thirty years ago… can that be right… Thirty years ago, Rich Little was as hot as a comedian gets. The intervening years hadn’t been kind. I saw him a while ago and he was lackluster – like a guy just going through the motions.

I forget what show he was on, but it demanded more than just an impressionist. As a person, he seemed drab and cold.

Obviously, my hopes were not high as he walked out. The first thing I noticed was his hair. I’m 56 and people complain, thinking mine’s colored (it’s not). Little has twelve years on me and has bright brown hair.

Maybe I’m wrong about his hair as people are about mine. I doubt it, but maybe.

He started his act doing Dr. Phil – and he killed. I am thrilled to say, Rich Little was as good tonight as I’ve ever seen him. I was happy for him – happy for me.

He then proceeded to run through some ‘names.’ He was Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Ronald Reagan and Andy Rooney.

He finished with his signature, Johnny Carson. As fresh as Johnny is in my mind, that show hasn’t been on since 1992! And, I’ve seen Rich Little do Carson a zillion times.

This time, he began with a new set-up (at least for me), explaining how his inspiration for the Carson impression came after seeing an ostrich at the zoo. Without saying a word, he began posturing, shifting his body and moving his head.

He was Johnny Carson before he spoke a word! He killed some more. And then he did a silly, slightly off color Carnac joke. Letterman’s audience ate it up.

Is it possible for a performer to ever get too used to… to be blas

The Stuff You Find

Our house cleaning continues. As it turns out, we hadn’t thrown out financial papers in… well, we’d just never thrown them out and we’ve been married for nearly 23 years!

Helaine stopped at Staples and bought a small shredder. She’s been working her way through our papers, a sheet or two at a time. I pointed out, we could have just thrown them in the fireplace and lit a match!

Here are two interesting pieces of paper – neither of any real value.

The first is the receipt from sending an audition tape to Mike Sechrist in New Haven. This little $9.35 investment turned into my job of the last 22 years. Pretty decent ROI!

The second is a receipt from PEOPLExpress for $23. It was the first real discount airline. You paid for your ticket on the plane! Often, they would board through the ‘normal’ and rear stairs.

Yup, you’d climb in through the tail!

Though it was good, in that it led to lower fares, PEOPLExpress is also responsible for cattle car crowding (and they did it on old DC9s), hub and spoke routing, less than scrupulous adherence to a schedule and the end of gracious service onboard.

I once saw a comedian who said the two most spoken words at PEOPLExpress’ Newark terminal (and old, non-air conditioned hangar) were, “Never again.”



Kathy Griffin At Mohegan Sun

Yesterday, we headed to Uncasville to see Kathy Griffin at Mohegan Sun Casino. The signs at Mohegan Sun celebrate their 10th anniversary. Their Cabaret isn’t quite that old, but this was still our first time there.

What a beautiful theater. Really. It is spacious and esthetically pleasing. It’s probably the prettiest modern theater I’ve been in.

On top of that, people were sitting in ‘easy chairs.’ This is not a ‘jam ’em in’ casino showroom.

I do have one complaint… I’ll get to that in a while.

I’ve always enjoyed Kathy Griffin. She’s very funny – a take no prisoners comedian whose act is heavily based on dishing celebrities.

I’ve seen her stand-up a lot. I haven’t seen as much of her reality show, which is a shame since some of her act referenced it.

For whatever reason, I went to the show thinking Kathy was the ‘modern’ Joan Rivers. After all, Joan has always made fun of celebrities.

My error. Kathy Griffin doesn’t tell jokes. She makes observations. But they’re spot on and hysterical. She was funny for the whole 90 minute show.

Oprah&#185, Larry King and Liz Taylor got nicked pretty good. So did some names more easily reachable. It’s difficult to think Clay Aiken, Linsday Lohan or any number of high profile celebs would give her the time of day… but they do. And so there’s more and more to say.

What struck me is, so many of Kathy’s observations are my observations. Many celebrities really do live lives with feet of clay. And, when introduced as universal experiences, they’re funny because they’re ludicrous.

Oh – I said there was one thing that bothered me, and it was the drink service. In a venue like this, service goes on during the show. I accept that. However, shouldn’t the waitresses make some attempt to keep it down while a comedian is on stage?

&#185 – I wish someone would have told Kathy that Gayle King was a high profile news anchor in Connecticut until a few years ago.

It’s Always Sunny In Las Vegas

I like playing poker in Las Vegas. I won’t lie. I don’t come to gamble. I come to win. I don’t always succeed, but that’s my purpose.

The good news is, poker is available around the clock. In fact, if there’s a downside to the poker explosion of the past few years, it’s that every casino has poker, so there’s a bit less action here at the Mirage.

From lv wednesday

There’s no rush to play, so Helaine and I had breakfast at a little coffee shop on premises and went for a walk on the Strip. It wasn’t quite 10:00 AM, but we stuck our heads into Caesars’ Forum Shoppes.

Over the past few years I’ve watched this little collection of shops expand and expand again. It’s pretty amazing now with nothing but high end stores selling at retail. For me, it’s look but don’t buy.

From lv wednesday

We then walked to Bellagio – a beautiful hotel. The Conservatory is decorated differently for all the seasons. Right now, it’s a fall motif… not my favorite, though still colorful.

From lv wednesday

There is a new trend in Las Vegas. You’ve probably seen buses festooned with images so they’re rolling billboards, though you can still see out the windows? They’ve got the same thing on hotels. The Flamingo’s exterior is but one example.

We returned to Mirage and I sat down to play some cards. The table of nine had at least five locals playing, maybe more. It’s like stepping up against major league pitching. I wanted the challenge.

I did very well – though I left with a bit less than my peak profit. Now I’ve made enough to buy into a larger tournament, if I so desire.

We ate dinner at the Stage Deli. It’s just like the one in Manhattan, but without the surly help! I had a bowl of matzo ball soup and a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich.

This evening we drove to the MGM Grand for Howie Mandel. Somehow, Helaine found exceptional tickets online before we left Connecticut. We were in the second row – great seats!

John Mendosa opened for Howie. He’s also a comedian – very funny and very laid back.

Mendosa had a white button down shirt, not tucked in, over a pair of pants. I noted, in the longstanding tradition of Vegas comics, there was not a crease in the pants as he came out. He had stood since putting them on.

It’s really a tradition – honest.

Howie came on and did around an hour. I have seen him on TV for years, but really didn’t know that much about him. What impressed me the most was how bright and fast he is. Lots of his act was based on audience participation, and he was on top of his game.

So, if you’re asking, Howie Mandel gets my recommendation.

Back at Mirage I decided to play some more poker before bed. I entered a $60 sit ‘n go and was very lucky to survive for a 3-way deal. I was terribly shorty stacked, but still made a $25 profit.

So far, so good. The poker gods are smiling.

More tomorrow, but first, a drive down the Las Vegas Strip as seen by my cellphone’s camcorder.

Gotta Love Cabo

Aboard the Norwegian Star

I’m on the balcony. It’s around 1:00 PM. The breeze is gentle, the air is warm and moderately dry. We are at anchor in Cabo San Lucas, Baja California Sur, Mexico.

If you’d like to find me on a map, it’s easy. Find Los Angeles, then trace the coast south with your finger. Pass San Diego and Tijuana. Keep tracing until you run out of land. I’m there. Simple!

Before I get to more specifics about today, let me wrap up yesterday.

We did decide to see Dave Heenan, the comedian, again. This time he was in the Spinnaker Lounge on Deck 12. It’s a nightclub style venue. I’m guessing it seats 400 or so. The chairs are comfy. The service is excellent.

There’s no doubt, Norwegian Cruise Lines is making money on booze! It’s tough to sit anywhere for any length of time without a waiter or waitress approaching to ask if you’d like a drink. They are everywhere taking orders and delivering drinks.

Dave Heenan’s show was totally different than the one we had seen earlier in the week. He says, and I believe him, that he ad libs everything. He knows enough jokes to keep a stream of consciousness running for 45 minutes at a clip.

Best line of the night. Speaking about the cleanliness of the southern restaurant chain, “Waffle House”: “I saw a cockroach there throwing up.”

When the show ended, we walked downstairs to Aqua. That’s deck 12 to Deck 6 for those counting. It was nearly closing time and the restaurant was emptying out. Once again the meal was great and once again I had a light cooking meal that couldn’t have been light. It was Chicken Parmesan with pasta. The dessert was a souffle.

I could get used to this life, if my arteries would allow it.

We finished dinner and headed back up the six flights of stairs to Deck 12. Steffie wanted to see Dave Heenan again – and he was funny enough that it made sense.

Another 45 minutes with hardly a repeat… and when he did repeat, he’d acknowledge it was something he said earlier.

Our night was done before midnight. We were all tired. There’s just so long you can lead this kind of life without a recharge. Anyway, today’s port call would be very early and with much less time than any of the others.

I’m not really sure whether it was the captain’s announcement or Helaine in the shower that woke me this morning. They happened pretty much simultaneously. We were anchored near the harbor at Cabo.

Everything I know about Cabo, I learned on Love Boat. Everything she knows about Cabo, Steffie learned on MTV. Who has the more liberal knowledge? Captain Stuebing – you’ve let me down!

From the balcony, I immediately made up my mind. This was the most beautiful of the ports we’d seen.

Looking out I could see miles of white beach flanked by five and six story hotel (maybe condo) buildings. Between us and the shore was a huge yacht. Whatever you’re thinking of, it’s bigger. A helicopter sat on an upper deck in the rear of the ship. Attached by lines were a few jet skis and other small boats.

I can’t see the name, but I do have the tail number of the copter. The ship is registered in some British Commonwealth country (based on the flag, which has a Union Jack). The chopper is from the United States (the tail number starts with “N”).

Helaine and I went up to Deck 12 for breakfast while Stef showered. As soon as we had a vantage from the port side of the ship, I saw the rocky outcropping that makes Cabo San Lucas so famous.

There is no harbor here large enough for the Norwegian Star, so we walked down to Deck 4 and got on a tender.

I’ve seen this on cruise ships before. There is actually a dock that swings out from the ship’s hull which is used for boarding.

A few of the lifeboats had been lowered down to the water. They would be used for tendering.

Again, with so much else on this ship, these lifeboats are super sized. I believe they can sit 125 or so in case of emergency! This is not some little dinghy.

The trip to Cabo took five minutes – no more. We landed at a marina full of moderate to large sized fishing boats – most from the states. There was an amazing amount of activity in the harbor and the marina.

When you looked to the water, you saw boats and you saw pelicans. Lots of pelicans.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen Pelicans up close like this. They are not pretty birds. They are substantial. We saw more than one down a fish whole in his beak!

Like I said, Steffie knew this place from MTV – specifically Laguna Beach. She knew where she wanted to go and Helaine already had directions to “Cabo Wabo.”

“Cabo Wabo” is owned by rocker Sammy Hagar. It’s a few blocks off the main drag, up a hill and across the way from a strip club. Inside was set up for small concerts with bar service. My guess is the real money maker is the merchandise stand near the front door.

Steffie now has a t-shirt and I have a hat. Sammy can taste some more Tequila on us.

Cabo is loaded with little shops selling silver and crafts. We went into a store where Helaine got a bracelet and another where I got a silver bookmark (now in Thomas Friedman’s “The World Is Flat,” which I should finish before Ls Angeles).

We headed back to the ship, through the marina area. Every few feet someone wanted to sell you something. There were hats and serapes and little carved toys. If it could be sold… If Heche en Mexico could be stamped on it… it was here!

We didn’t buy anything from these vendors, but we did make one more stop. At a bend in the marina, a Mexican man stood, holding two iguanas. One was wearing a sombrero. Neither seemed particularly mindful that they were the main attraction in this man’s business.

For $2 US, I could have my picture taken with the iguana – and I did! Actually, nimble fingered Stef shot of a half dozen – maybe more.

The mere fact that Stef got this photo is amazing, considering she was laughing herself silly at the time.

We tendered in and were back on the ship by 12:30. Right now, as I type, the last of the tenders are bringing passengers back. A few of the tenders have already been hoisted on their davits and stowed for their real job. We should get underway within 10 – 15 minutes.

This is our last port before returning to San Pedro/Los Angeles. We’ll be at sea all night tonight and all day tomorrow. We dock early Thursday. Los Angeles is the better part of 1,000 miles from here.

With a few blasts of the ship’s horn, we’re underway. Though we’ll be doing 21 knots on the trip north, it takes a long time to accelerate to that point.

We headed south first, then a sharp u-turn around the tip of Baja.

I am surprised, 45 minutes after leaving Cabo, a Mexican Navy patrol boat is keeping pace between the Norwegian Star and the coast. Finally, at 2:48, it makes a clockwise turn and heads home.

We’re all alone in the Pacific.

There is no doubt this was our most beautiful Mexican stop.

Mazatlan and Jorge – Another Great Day

Aboard the Norwegian Star

I’m not a light sleeper, so the captain speaks up when he comes on the P.A. early each morning we’re in port. This morning he addressed us at 7:30 AM.

In spite of being in Mazatlan, the spa will be open. He will be there. Too much information.

I assume the captain is Norwegian. Should I meet him, he will be the first Norwegian I’ve run into! Same thing goes for the United States and Mexico.

The crew is very much like the United Nations with a few critical expulsions.

We are in Mazatlan. I knew there was a city named Mazatlan, but nothing else. Shame on me. It’s too large not to know. This is a city of 700,000 (source – cabdriver).

Looking off the balcony this morning, I saw a small city… until I pierced the haze. There in the distance, tall buildings that usually accompany larger populations (I have enhanced the photo which reduces the haze and lets you better see the distant skyline).

I’m not sure if the haze is a product of pollution or the local geography. Some cities can be naturally hazy (Los Angeles), though pollutants can make it much worse.

Steffie was still tired, so Helaine and I headed up to Deck 12 for breakfast. It is cafeteria style up there, but still tasty. And there was no problem bringing a full plate back to our cabin on Deck 11.

Have I mentioned the stairs? I wish I had a pedometer. We have been walking stairs like crazy. Each of us climbs and descends dozens of floors worth of steps. Sure, I huff and puff when I reach our room, but isn’t that OK after climbing six or seven flights?

Today was going to be a beach day. We stopped at the reception desk to ask where to go. Hotels and shopping were in the Golden Zone, we were told.

Since we’re in an industrial port, with lots of activity, including auto imports, we got on the mandatory, but free, shuttle, which brought us to the main gate. From there we hopped a cab.

The sign said the fare to the Golden Zone was $10, so I never verified it. When we got to our destination, $12! My fault for not asking. Of course I was taken. Was it worth kvetching in a foreign land with limited time?

We got out, walked to the sidewalk, and about three feet later Helaine and Stef walked into a store selling silver and other things you buy in foreign ports. Stef got a few little rings.

We walked down the main drag toward the Casa de Oro, stopping again in an area of small mom and pop shops. Stef bought something else, while Helaine and I bought a ceramic Sun. We have a small collection. This one was 100 pesos – $10.

We had been told on the ship we’d be welcome to use the facilities and beach at the Casa de Oro. We never announced our arrival and they never asked.

Considering this was a mystery resort, what we saw was a pleasant surprise. We walked through the lobby and between hotel buildings, following signs to the “playa/beach.”

The pool was built adjacent to a retaining wall at the beach. It was really beautiful and the people there looked to be relaxed and having a good time. Next to the pool were a bar and restaurant.

We made our way to the beach, to a man sitting in his ‘office’ under an umbrella. Did he have wave runners to rent? You bet!

I rented two, one for me and one for Stef, and we set out to explore the bay. There was just enough wave action and chop to make it an exciting ride.

The bay itself was large and bounded by hilly islands. Criss crossing the water were other wave runners, sail boats and power boats, some towing tourists harnessed into parachutes.

As we began Stef was a little apprehensive and followed me. Before we were done she was leading the way, forcing me to ‘gun it’ to keep up.

I don’t know that much about wave runners, but I do know we went fast and neither of us had the guts to really let them run! I can’t imagine.

As we cut across the bay, our little jets would jump out of the water, throwing spray in our faces. Behind us, a tail of water shot high into the air.

This was very cool.

I know it wasn’t Steffie’s first thought for a good time. That changed by the time we were done.

Helaine, not wanting to ride in the bay, stayed on the shore, looking for shade and clicking away. I had put the longer lens on ‘Clicky’ and Helaine took advantage.

I’m sure there will be more than a few shots worth framing from a day Steffie and I will long remember.

We headed back through the hotel, looking to find a cab. Here in Mazatlan there is a strange looking, open air vehicle, used as a taxi. If you recognize what this was when it started life, let me know. There are no identifying marks – as if the manufacturer wanted to disavow all knowledge of its Mazatlan usage.

I told the girls I wanted to go back in one of those cabs. No sooner did I say that than Jorge pulled up to the curb.

I checked. Jorge wanted $10 to go to the ship, so we jumped in – Helaine and Stef in the back, me in the front passenger seat.

As we drove, I stuck my body to the right, out of the vehicle, and took photos. It didn’t take Jorge long to notice. Before long we were slowing down for anything vaguely resembling a photo op.

We passed the university and headed into the hills. Ships don’t dock above sea level, but we didn’t question Jorge. Up we drove, until we rounded a curve and Jorge slowed to a stop.

We were at the edge of a hill with an unbelievable view of the buildings below and our beautiful ship.

I’m glad I have this shot, because it is really the first time I’ve been able to show the ship in perspective. It is a behemoth – and I think you sense that looking at the size of things in the foreground.

The Norwegian Star is longer than three football fields, has fourteen decks I know of, and is carrying 3,000 souls.

Every time it docks, it is as if a small town had floated into town!

Jorge (note the Red Sox hat) asked for $10, but got $15. He is the kind of good will ambassador any tourist town needs. I speak no Spanish and I think Jorge matches me in English.

Stef was my reluctant translator, feeding me the words to ask Jorge for his name. That was the sum of our communication, except for my ‘muchos gracias’ at the dock.

We’re back on board now. The captain says we’ll be leaving in a few minutes. No word on his spa treatment. I’ll let you know should there be late breaking spa news.

Tonight it’s a slow sail northwest to the tip of Baja California, Cabo San Lucas.

Meanwhile, we still have dinner to eat, and another chance to see Dave Heenan, the comedian. Steffie says we should take in both his shows.

Hey, isn’t that what vacations are for?

Blogger’s note: As I put the finishing touches on this entry, at the computer area, a couple sat down at a nearby terminal. While I typed, he showed her an email – and she went a little nuts.

As far as I can tell their son has accepted an athletic scholarship to Cal Poly. He must have been heavily recruited by more expensive and prestigious schools.

Mom was very upset – very. I will spare you quoting her opinion of her son and Cal Poly. She will not get a humanitarian award based on this evening, and this cruise will not end on a pleasant note for them.

I suppose having access to the outside world is both good and bad.

Friday Night With A Clarification

Aboard the Norwegian Star

In the morning we’ll be docking at Manzanillo. We’re under 200 miles away.

I haven’t found anyone to go to the volcano with, so I’ll be on my own – which might actually be better. I’ll let you know.

Earlier today when I looked at this website, I realized it looks like the ship is jammed with people. It’s really not like that. Just an unlucky choice of shots I suppose.

Most of the time, there’s plenty of room to stretch out or go at your own pace. Many areas (and this might be on purpose) seem perfect for introspection.

We went back to Aqua for dinner tonight. Once again, it was excellent. I had a steak with a banana based dessert. In fact we all had the steak.

I like Aqua better than Versailles. They both have the same menu, but Aqua wins on decor. I especially liked the artwork, which from a distance seemed to be ceramic.

I mentioned this to someone at a hold’em tableand he felt just the opposite. I’m not saying it’s the right opinion, just that it’s my opinion.

Each table at Aqua had a small candle flickering away. Nice touch until I noticed someone at an adjacent table playing with his. It was actually a solid state light, programmed to flicker and look like a candle.

Where has the romance gone?

Our table was at the window. That was nice until the Sun went down. It is pitch black outside the ship, especially when there are clouds.

It has since cleared, and I’m on the balcony looking at a sky full of stars. The only thing that breaks the night is the translucent plume of smoke trailing us. The wind must be blowing from port to starboard.

Since Wednesday evening the ship has been moving through the Pacific. With light seas it’s easy to forget you’re moving. There’s no noticable noise when you’re inside.

On the other hand, if you’re on deck it’s unavoidable, as water is rushing by constantly.

Every once in a while, I feel myself swoon and think, “I must be tired.” I guess swooning is something I do when I’m tired, but never think about. On the ship it’s just a reaction to the slight sway we’re constantly under. It’s funny how the mind works with unusual stimuli.

If you watch the wake along the side or rear of the ship you realize our motion is part of a complex interaction with the sea itself. The wake is never quite the same over any stretch of time, though patterns do repeat. It would be interesting to see it plotted out.

Most people think a ship’s rock pivots from the keel. There are actually multiple pivot points and they’re constantly changing. The ship is rocking side-to-side, front-to-back and other ways I haven’t thought of, all at once!

I hope I’m making myself clear. This is a tough concept to try and explain.

The ship itself is quite complex. It seems as if no space is left unused. That’s especially true in the hallways were there are utility closets and storage lockers in the space between cabin.

I noticed a piece of electronics hanging on a wall and came in for a closer look. It’s a cellular telephone site – in the hallway! I saw another one earlier on the side of an open deck.

The ships officers communicate with cell phones in their own mini-network. Passengers can buy in for outrageously expensive calls back home.

Fire is a huge concern. Fire at sea is incredibly dangerous. You can’t go more than a few feet without seeing a smoke detector or sprinkler head. There are also storage lockers with fire fighting equipment. On the water, we’re on our own.

As big as this ship is it’s easy to get lost, so there are flooplans all over the place. I was surprised earlier today, looking to go the stern, to look at the water rushing by the ship and still go the wrong way!

Tonight’s entertainment was Dave Heenan, a comedian from New York though he sounded Irish to me). He is living proof that good stage presence trumps good material, since he was better than his material would indicate.

He is a large man… maybe immense is a better word. He uses that to his own advantage, making fun of himself.

Helaine and Stef laughed a lot. I did too. I was surprised to hear him tell a joke I heard Allan King tell on Ed Sullivan at least 45 years ago.

Later in the week he’ll be performing in a lounge, and I’ll try and see him again. I guess that’s endorsement enough.

By the time I post this, I should be back from the volcano. I do want to keep the blog up-to-date (a labor of love for me), but I also want my vacation.

So far, it’s a ball.

Farther From Shore

Aboard the Norwegian Star

We have cleared Cabo San Lucas, the southern tip of Baja California. With the main coastline farther east, we are a lot farther out to sea, now heading south southeast toward Manzanillo.

As anticipated, dinner last night was at Versailles. We approached, at 7:20 PM only to find a long line leading up the stairs. At the restaurant’s entrance was a crowd of people clustered around a host with clipboard.

Helaine went down the stairs, figuring we’d have to get our names on the list and wait. As she approached, the host asked for any threes or fours… and the rest, as they say, is history.

Did we cut in line? I’m not really sure. If it’s just serendipity, does it count as a bad deed? Hopefully not.

We walked in, and this dining room is magnificent… but in a different way from Aqua. This is very old style elegance. The fixtures and wall coverings all spoke to a distant point in time. Everywhere you looked were waiters, waitresses, busboys, assistants and captains. This is a ‘full’ service restaurant.

Looking around, my first thought was, this reminds me of the Titanic or Poseidon. It had that kind of stately, first class, old school cruising, feel. OK – probably not the analogy you want when you’re already on a ship.

There were four or five choices for entree, but we all had lobster tail. I started with the “light cooking” New England Clam Chowder as my appetizer.

Maybe it is light cooking, but it sure tasted rich. It was smooth enough to use as a lubricant! Something was making it creamy. My guess is… cream. Still they’re saying light cooking, so I’ll just live the fantasy and discard any fears.

On CruiseCritic, Helaine had read comments saying the lobster tail was dry. I have had more succulent, but it was still very good. One of the waitresses bathed it in drawn butter from a gravy boat.

Before I go on, I should mention how grateful we are to CruiseCritic. This is a really valuable resource. We learned a lot before we left home and came prepared. If you’re taking a cruise, this is a must bookmark site.

After dinner there was coffee and dessert. There is one thing I’ve noticed about the coffee onboard, it is strong enough to use as industrial solvent! I’ve seen them make it and they’re using Folgers. This doesn’t taste like the Folgers I’ve made.

After dinner, we headed to the casino. There was a structured hold’em game starting, $3/$6, and I sat down.

Hold’em is in a separate room, away from the main casino. The dealers aren’t poker proficient and neither are the players. I won a few bucks, but it wasn’t the kind of poker action I enjoy. I really wish it was in the main casino.

I will try again. I do enjoy playing poker and feel as a reasonably good player I should do well. There are many fish at sea.

The girls had walked through the karaoke bar earlier. Helaine wanted to burrow her head when she heard some of the off key singing. Now I wanted to try!

Helaine wouldn’t go, but Steffie would. We headed to the Carousel Bar and got the master list of songs. It didn’t take long to find “Jessie’s Girl” and put my name on the list.

I figured “Jessie’s Girl” would be an easy song to sing. I’ve heard it a million times. What I didn’t know was, Rick Springfield doesn’t sing it exactly as he wrote it! Of course that only became obvious while I was singing and looked at he words on he screen.

Two questions: Where did those extra lyrics come from? Where did they go?

As I finished, in walked Helaine. She heard the end of the song as she approached.

Helaine and Steffie were kind as I asked, and asked, and asked again, how I’d done. Of course I’m insecure. How could they not know that?

Rick Springfield does not have to worry for his job… and I won’t be filling in on summer vacations.

That was enough. We were off to bed – another restful night, gently rocked to sleep.

Breakfast this morning was in a buffet type cafe. I actually would have preferred a full service breakfast, but by the time we were up and dressed, breakfast wasn’t served.

It is cloudy today. There have been patches of sun, but mostly it’s gray. The seas are lightly undulating. We are heading into the wind, meaning it’s very breezy on deck (though interestingly, not on our balcony, where I’m typing this).

There are dozens of little activities scheduled every day. Some are of interest, most are not. There was a cooking demonstration scheduled, so we headed down to its location and began to watch. The chef, from Austria, was difficult to understand – but we were trying… and then… the announcement.

Over the PA came the voice of Tommy, the assistant cruise director. A school of dolphins had been spotted on the port side. Bye bye demonstration.

We got to the rail on deck 7 and saw a cluster of people, all trying to see the dolphins. Nothing.

Then, from out of the sea, a cluster of dolphins arched their backs above the water. I tried – and missed catching it on the camera.

Helaine said, this alone was worth the price of the trip! She was right, and with a little luck, we’ll see more.

We decided to head up to the pool to sit and sun ourselves. There were deck chairs on the starboard side, blocked from most of the breeze… and blocked from any sun by the clouds.

It didn’t take long for another voice to ring out over the PA. This time it was an officer, from the bridge. A large whale had been sighted over the port side.

We ran over. Nothing.

We kept watching, along with dozens of others. Still nothing.

Finally, in the distance astern of the ship, I saw a column of spray rising high into the air. Thar she blows!

Wow!

As with the dolphins, I tried but couldn’t catch a good shot. And, as with the dolphins, hopefully this won’t be our last opportunity.

I’m picking this up after a nap. Helaine and Stef are getting their nails done.

A quick step onto the balcony reveals a change in the environment. I’m starting to feel a little tropical humidity. Not much – just enough to notice.

In just a while we’ll be having dinner, then seeing a comedian. Tomorrow I’m going to the Colima volcano.

My plan was to try and find someone to go with me, as there’s a minimum charge. I don’t think I’ve had more than a few words with anyone other than Helaine and Stef. Even if I go myself, I think it will be worth it. How often do you have a chance to see a real volcano up close?

Quick Emmy Observation

I was sitting for a while, watching the Emmys. This show, unfortunately, has less of an appeal to me than it once did. It could be because of how diffuse TV has become.

With 100+ channels, how can any one show be known by all, or even most?

When David Letterman came on to introduce the Johnny Carson retrospective, Helaine turned to ask how Jay Leno must have felt? Good question.

OK, it’s possible to justify this by saying the Emmys are on CBS. Still, it always seems Jay succeeded Johnny but has never really been his successor. Do you know what I’m getting at?

Toward the end of the Tonight Show clips, the famous scene with George Gobel, Bob Hope, Dean Martin and an ascot wearing Johnny Carson came on. It’s the one where Gobel says he feels like life is a tuxedo and he’s a pair of brown shoes.

Whether ad lib or scripted, it’s one of the all time classic talk show lines.

I wondered aloud, how many of those watching knew who these three guys were. Helaine said a lot of them don’t even know who Johnny was.

Not only that, when was the last time a talk show had two “A” list and one “B” list guests out at once (sorry George)? I’ll bet none of them was plugging anything. This was in an era of career enhancement, not product placement.

The class comedian moment of the night was when Jon Stewart’s show won and he came up, saying Letterman was his Carson. Now Jay has a reason to feel bad.

Blogger’s note: A friend, who was actually at the ceremony, told me he watched Jay Leno get up and leave as soon as his category’s winner was announced.

Comedy Central Good and Bad and Bad

Recently, three shows on Comedy Central left an impression with me. Talking about my impressions is this blog’s reason for being, so here we go.

Somehow I was enticed to watch the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson. I never watched Baywatch. I did see her over-the-top private detective show, “VIP,” more than once.

I was impressed by Pamela, not because of her acting (because I didn’t really think there was acting involved in that show) but because of her ability to make fun of herself and do it in a way I felt was attractive.

It’s not a physical attraction I’m talking about. She just made herself seem like she was having a good time.

With all this in mind, I DVR’ed the roast. Awful. Terrible. Disappointing. Filthy too.

There were too many comics reading their material. There was too much that wasn’t funny. And, if Courtney Love has really been off drugs for a year… wow, it’s just very sad.

Next up on the hit parade is the new show, “Too Late with Adam Corolla.” Like Pam, Adam is someone I’ve found funny. Not all the time, but often enough that I’d tune in.

I’d better make a confession here. At one time, one of my best friends was his manager. That relationship won’t affect what I write, but you certainly should know about it.

Within the first fifteen seconds of this show, I began to smell the giblet gravy. This was a major turkey unfolding!

The first, then second, then third joke bombed. I’m talking about deathly silence from a studio audience that came to have fun.

Less than a minute in and I was breaking out in a sweat!

It was just unbearable to watch. The smart alec persona that drives so much of what Adam Carolla does began to seem smarmy and mean spirited.

I hit the buttons and erased the show. Then I unset the auto record function.

Maybe I did rush to judgment in the first minute or so, but it seemed so unsalvagable. If somehow I hear a good buzz, I’ll try again… but that seems so unlikely right now.

OK – that’s two bad. Now the good.

I am a huge Jon Stewart fan. He is the funniest man on television and has the only show I watch religiously. On top of that, he’s really smart. I value that above nearly everything else.

Of all the things Stewart does, what impresses me most and what I’ve never seen mentioned elsewhere, is his ability to be a straight man. This is one of the most difficult things a comedian can do and certainly one of the most valuable.

A good straight man must hold a moment. The natural reaction for a comedian, after someone else tells a joke, is to move on to the next laugh or try and top it. Not Jon Stewart.

Often Stewart can extend the laugh for one of his supporting players, making that person even funnier. And, to climb this comedic pinnacle, he has done little more than look into the camera. But, he has intensified what preceded him.

He is of George Burns or Bud Abbot quality.

Overall, the power of The Daily Show is to shine a light on the absurd, even if it didn’t seem absurd at the time. What people say… what they do… often seems comical once you step back and take a closer look.

Of the secondary players, the best by far is Steven Colbert. He is consistently funny. Coming on strong is Rob Corddry, a modern day, hipper, edgier, Fred Willard type.

What I don’t like about The Daily Show are the majority of their ‘field pieces.’ Often, they take advantage of people who are too innocent to realize they’re being made fun of. The Daily Show staff is too smart to need to do this. I just hit fast forward.