The Bris

Congratulations to Matt’s family. To Brendan, it wasn’t our idea–honest.

brendan-eli.jpgIn the Jewish religion it is tradition that boys are circumcised in a religious ceremony when they’re 8-days old. The ceremony is called a bris and is performed by a mohel. Don’t ask more. I’ve just exhausted my religious knowledge.

There are plenty of bris jokes. They’re coming.

The Jews are the world’s most optimistic people. We cut off the tip before we know how long it’s going to be.

mohel-car.jpgHelaine and I went to Matt Scott’s house today for his son Brendan’s bris. We pulled up at the curb (the scene of Stef’s famous ‘ticket and tow’) behind the car owned by the person who would perform the bris. Well, it was his car or an amazing coincidence.

There’s the story of a mohel who saved all the foreskins from his brises. He took them to a leathermaker who fashioned them into a wallet.

“A wallet,” he asked? “A lifetime’s work and that’s all you could make?”

“Yes,” answered the leathermaker, “but if you rub it, it turns into a suitcase.”

To help with the ordeal, the baby is given a very small bit of wine. I guess that tradition works. Brendan didn’t cry as long or as loud as I would have. I mean, stop and think what this poor 8-day old just went through!

Helaine and I turned our backs while the deed was done. I think we both breathed a sigh of relief that our child is a daughter.

A mohel goes to his insurance agent looking for a better deal.

“I’ve never been sued,” he said.

So the agent went looking and came back with good news and bad news.

“First the good news. I can get you a better rate. Now the bad news. There’s a 3-inch deductible.”

Congratulations to Matt’s family. To Brendan, it wasn’t our idea–honest.

3 thoughts on “The Bris”

  1. Geoff–congrats to Matt & Family. Your story brought back “the good old days”–as an OB nurse we used to love when women could actually

    “recover “after a C/section in the hospital…The thrill would be when instead of 7 days (usual stay in the 70s) they’d stay 8 and we’d be lucky enough to have a bris. No one threatened the mohel for practicing surgery without a license. There were no “rules” about dispensing liquor to minors and oh, the food…. these lovely women would come in with trays of wonderful goodies. They would invite us to join them and it was so special to have been there for the birth and the bris. Family based medicine like it will never be again…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *