When Will Helaine Kill Me?

I love my wife. We’ve been married 27 years. I like being with her. Of course we’ve never been together as much as we have during the past few months!

My old schedule including a large slice of work time. That’s gone now.

I used to get out of bed close to 1:00 PM and be gone by 3:00. By the time I returned around midnight she was already asleep.

Now I’m here all day and her me time has become me time! We’ve been spending a lot of time together at night on the sofa each wielding a laptop while watching TV.

“OK, who’s that,” I’ll ask while looking at a show she’s been watching for a while? I’ve become the annoying guy in the theater talking while the movie plays!

We all work to earn a living, but there are other reasons to work! How long can I stay home before I drive her nuts? How long until it becomes justifiable homicide?

23 thoughts on “When Will Helaine Kill Me?”

  1. Haha. My husband is off for vacation next week and I’m wondering if he will drive me nuts by the end of the week. We’ll been married 20 years next Wednesday.

  2. One of my favorite clients had the same situation in his marriage when he decided to leave employment to become an entrepreneur. His wife turned to him, smiled and in her most loving voice declared, “Honey, I married you for a lifetime…but not for lunch. Go out. Now.”

  3. Don’t be pickin’ on her favorite shows. That never went over big around here. How’s the job search……someone out there must need a meteorologist!!

  4. Hey Geoff,
    My husband and I have been married 15 years, when we first got married he worked 6 days sometimes 7 days a week 12 hours a day. That used to make me crazy as we never spent time together, but now as time has gone on and he has been with his place of employment for 27 years he has managed to take more time off, so he has been home like two days in a row sometimes 3 days. I do not work, so he seems like he is always home now. some days it makes me crazy by the time he ready to go back to work from his days off I am very happy.

  5. When hubby retired June 2009 I lost all of my “alone” time. We have fun doing things together but I like my solitude. Over the past year and a half I have just re-invented my “me” time. I grocery shop alone. I take long drives. I go to the yarn shop and I indulge in watching all my chick shows on the second TV upstairs. You and your wife are still in the adjustment phase. It’s going to be okay. Give yourselves permission to change and grow in the process. You will be surprised at what you learn about yourself!

  6. I do understand!! =)
    I lost my job in December and since my husband (married almost 37 years) gets home early in the afternoon from work, almost our whole day is spent together. I know I have put a crimp in his style! I stay up late on the computer while he goes to bed really early, so there are not many TV show “discussions”. That’s a good thing. However, I do interupt his afternoon piano practice. Just added this now because as I was trying to read him your blog, he snarled at me while pounding the keyboard.

  7. Geoff – you have to read the book I’m reading right now (I was in your shoes about a year ago), its entitled “Fat,Forty,Fired: One Man’s Frank,Funny,and Inspiring Account of Losing His Job and Finding His Life” by Nigel Marsh… Its a humerous, serious, sad etc reflection of not working – what led up to it, how he worked thru it. Anyway I’m reading it right now. I thought of you or anyone of us who have been in this situation. Easy to read.

  8. I have been retired for approximately 2 years and my husband is semi-retired so we have been with each other a lot more lately. We have been together for 38 years and whenever we get on each other’s nerves we just go to our own separate rooms……….his has the living room with his big TV and I have my computer room with my own TV. So far this set-up works just fine for us and hopefully we will continue to like each other as the years continue to pass.

    When and if things are getting a little too close and you start to drive her nuts, just find your own little space to hang out in for a little while.


  10. My husband and I divorced. We had irreconcilable (sp?) differences. I like air conditioning and he doesn’t. I love television and he didn’t. I had a very welcoming audience when it came to my cooking, though! Our divorce took three years of total bullshit from our families and cost a fortune. We reconciled and he asked me to marry him again and I said yes, of course. Then he died. Talk about heart broken. Treasure every minute! He was twelve years older than I and the love of my life.

  11. My husband and I work together – which we do well with because we get along great.
    But right now his jobs are spaced too far apart so he’s been hanging around for the last week – and he’s driving me nuts! I don’t mind when he’s in the office while I’m working for an hour and then he’s off to another job. But he’s hanging around….and the moping because he knows in a few weeks he’s going to be trying to do 5 jobs at the same time…..!
    So I feel Helaine’s pain.

  12. My husband has been working from home a lot this past year and I have informed him that I now know the reason behind many divorces!! A part time job on my part and his own office go a long way to keep us “together”!

  13. It’s much easier to get along when you don’t spend all your time together. I work with my husband and have the same days off. while it’s conveinent we got along so much better when he was out of work for 5 mths.pretty sad!

  14. I’ve worked for the last 30+ years. In September, I went to the local hospital for an issue I had. I haven’t been back to work yet. Don’t know when/if I will. It’s hard to be “stuck” at home all the time now. I get to spend more “quality” time with the family….quite a change after all these years. It doesn’t help that the weather is cold and not nice. Soon!

  15. When my husband retired in 2008, I told him that he was to be out of the house by 9:00 AM. He could come home for lunch and then leave again and not return until 5:00 PM. So far, it’s working!!!!

    P.S. I DO know where he is at those times!!!!!!!!!!

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