“It’s still under warranty,” I told Helaine. We were on our way to the hospital, my second doctor visit of the day, to have my port catheter checked out. At the moment it allows neither drawing or infusions.
Of course in medicine nothing comes with a warranty starting with the patient.
In the prep area I explained to anyone who’d listen my irrational port fears. Even if it doesn’t hurt it will seem to me like it did!
They wheeled me away down the hall and through two sharp rights to the procedure room. A large probe hovered over my chest, it’s x-ray image shown on a few large monitors. It didn’t take more than a few seconds to see a full loop had formed in the catheter.
While my Yale Medical School trained interventional radiologist watched a live fluoroscope of my chest he attempted to manually cajole the kinked catheter into place. You thought it would be that easy? Get real.
I’ll be in Newport Beach 8:00 AM Thursday where he’ll go in through my groin and pull the catheter taught from the far end.
All I wanted to do was avoid the pain of IVs. One yesterday. One today. One surely next week for the re-do. Shoot me now.