Mother’s Day In The Hospital

My mom’s room is on the third floor of a community hospital.  She is, as they say, resting comfortably.  She is awake and reasonably alert. She wants  to know when she can go home.

At a certain point in life it’s difficult to separate the impacts.  Did my mom’s swoon to the floor have to do with the infection they’ve found or Alzheimer’s or something we don’t know?

We certainly don’t know what to do when she’s discharged.  I’ve asked to speak to someone in social services.

There’s no training for this type of thing.  There are no easy answers.  Its especially tough on my dad.

I am glad to see my mother, but especially on Mother’s Day this isn’t where she or I want to be.

28 thoughts on “Mother’s Day In The Hospital”

  1. Sending you blessings and love! Good man. Ask as many questions and even more than you think you need to – For her sake as well as dad’s and yours! Hugs and warm wishes from up north!

    1. Yes, Ask Away! You, as an older “child”, now have to advocate for your parents. Never take what the hospital or a doctor says at face value. Dig!

  2. I was just checking your wall to see how your mom made out, and saw your post. So sorry about what happened Geoff……I hope you can get some assistance for your parents…..

  3. I hope you get the answers you need, Geoff. Never easy to deal with a aging parent. I know you are thankful to have your Mom still, many of us don’t. You will find the best solution for her and your Dad.

  4. So sorry Jeff for you and your parents. This is a difficult time in their lives and in yours. Their are some tough decisions that need to be made for everyone’s benefit, especially your Mom. Was their any discussions with your Mom prior to getting ill? If not, be sure to be equipped with as much information as possible. As MJ said, ask lots and lots of questions. Do not take your Mom’s care for granted. Be her voice…make sure she is getting what she needs. No offense to the health care services but sometimes they are just too busy. You are a caring son, and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers! Be well!

  5. Oh, remember, when the time comes, you will never regret all that you have done for your Mom. You will have peace of mind that you did all that you could!

  6. Sorry your family has to deal with this. Thought I would mention that some infections can cause folks confusion. It is hard to tell if it’s the disease or not until the infection has cleared. Hope Your Mom is feeling better soon.

  7. So sorry Jeff but it’s a blessing she is still with you and get everyone together to work this out. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  8. Geoff, went thru this last year with my dad who had alzheimers. I know exactly what you are going thru and I was in AZ my mom and dad are in CT. Its hard when your a long distance moreso. It was a day by day ordeal. Ask lots of questions, good start you are doing with the social workers in the hospital. There are aides you can get into the home for as many hours etc as you need, research all your options making sure her doctor is also giving you his best information and thoughts on what to do. It is emotional and mentally exhausting. We did all we thought and still today (my dad passed in Sept last year). Lots of prayers got us thru this also. My thoughts are with you. I know exactly what you are going thru.

    1. I understand too. I lost my mom and my brother to Alzheimer’s. It’s a desease that you lose someone twice. First when they have the desease and again when they die. I still miss my brother who left us when he was only 72. I miss my mom too. She was 85.

  9. 2 minutes ago
    .Geoff, I feel your pain. My mother is 84 years old and is in a nursing home with dementia brought about by Parkinson’s disease. She wears diapers because she has no contorl. Caring for an elderly parent is a full time 24 hour 7 day a wee…k job, it can cause much strife in families. My family is no exception, I won’t go into details but have a two sisters and a brother I no longer speak to, had not seen my mom in 5 years until I found out she was in a nursing home, a place she made me promise to never put her. I was never included in the decision because of the family situation. I know she is in a good place, she is safe, and she is well cared for. None of these things helps me ove the guilt feel for promising her I would never do it. I miss her and I pray that God will bring her home to bewith my dad who has been gone 10 years now. She is in Willows in Woodbridge, I tell you this because I was very impressed with the place, clean, not smelly just a beautiful place.

    1. some promises have to be broken. She gets the care she needs 24 hours a day. I hope you have a support group to attend.

  10. Geoff,

    I can’t say any more then the others have already said. So sorry to hear of your mothers problems.

    If you need anything done on the home front, let me know.


  11. All the best to you Geoff and your mom. I’m sure whatever decision you and your
    Dad make will be the right one for your mom and dad. It’s never easy but, all of
    us go through it some time in our life. I know it has to be especially hard on you and your family since you are not close by. Will keep you in my prayers/

  12. May God bless you Geoff and your whole family know that he does not gives us anything we cannot handle. My thoughts prayers and love are with you. Blessing and light and energy sent your way

  13. Oh Geoff, this is all so difficult. But it is good that you are there, for her and even more for your dad. And for you,too. You didn’t say if she broke any bones when she fell. I hope she didn’t and the infection just made her weak or dizzy and she will be okay soon. I’m sending positive thoughts!

  14. Geoff, hope your mom is doing better and dad is coping well. It’s never easy when the parents become the children and the kids take over parenting the parents. I took care of my mom for 20 years after dad died. Most of the time, it was fine. But when she was sick, it was very hard. Just enjoy your time with them. It’s way too short.

  15. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt … as others have said, don’t be afraid to ask questions and if you’re not getting the answers you feel you should be getting from the social worker, ask to speak to another one. There are in-home options available too, especially if your mom has Medicare. Also if they offer the option of a stint in a rehab facility between the hospital and home, that is an excellent thing, but don’t let the hospital tell you where they will be sending her – you have every right to visit different ones and pick the one your family is most comfortable with.

    Sending you and your family good thoughts and hope for your mom’s quick recovery.

  16. Sorry to hear about your mom. That’s a rough way to spend her special day. I will keep you in my prayers, specifically that you get the answers you need to give you and your dad peace of mind.

  17. Seems like all of us Baby Boomers are going through similar situations. My Dad is 89(WWII) and in good shape except hearing(working on that)…his wife has Dementia and is 82. She’s violent and attacks my Dad once in a while…which is too much for me. He is the last member of my family alive. They resist suggestions…etc…
    Anyway…make sure she has assistance at home…your Dad can’t take on care taking…too much at his age…
    Thoughts are with you…

  18. A lot of good advice here. Hopefully your Mom “swooned” from the infection. Infections can make the elderly very weak for sure and she will be fine when its gone. Consider this a wake up call to start investigating both short term and long term rehab, in home nursing care, etc. Then, if something bad happens, you won’t be so overwhelmed. Even though it sucks to spend a special occasion in a hospital,(and I have spent many there), at least you got to be with her. That is, despite all, a blessing.

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